이번 여름은 유난히도 더웠습니다.비도 많이 왔고요. 그래서 마당과 채전의 풀들은 끝없이 자라나서 제 일거리가 많아지기도 했지요. 그래도 아침저녁으로 선선한 바람이 제법 부는 걸 보니 얼마 있지 않아 여름도 막을 내릴 것 같습니다. 그래서 그런지 사람들이 자주 물어봅니다. “사모님, 피서 다녀오셨습니까?” “아니요, 나중에 가려구요.” 실은 나중에 피서를 간다는 건 아니고 이래저래 남편이 교단 일로 가을에 미주 고신총회에 다녀올 일들이 있다 보니까 올 여름 피서는 생략하기로 한 것이지요.
그래도 아들 며느리가 여름휴가라고 내려와서 한참을 우리와 함께 있었습니다. 아들이야 일을 해야 되니 오래 있지 못했지만 며느리와 손녀들이 먼저 와있었지요. 손도 대지 않고 놓아둔 피아노를 치며 매일같이 노래를 부르고 노는가 하면 연못의 개구리를 잡겠다고 마당을 뛰어다니는 것을 보니 휴가가 이래서 좋은 것이구나 라는 생각이 들기도 합니다. 물론 나는 식구들 밥을 해 먹이느라 좀 바빴지만 말입니다. 아들이 어릴 적에 엄마랑 케이크 구웠던 추억들이 참 좋았다는 말에 손녀들과 음식을 함께 만들어 먹는 이벤트도 벌였지요.
그래서 우리 손녀들의 기억 속에 아름다운 추억들이 만들어진다면 나는 ‘추억의 박물관’ 관장 노릇을 잘 하고 있는 셈입니다.
그러면서 나의 ‘추억의 박물관’에 소장되어 있는, 아직도 반짝반짝 빛나는 기억들을 떠올려보았습니다. 도시에서 스물네 평 아파트에 일곱 식구가 복닥거리며 살다가 방학이 되면 종업식 하기가 무섭게 청송에 있는 외가로 달려갔습니다. 길도 험한데다 교통편도 불편해서 안동에서 내려 완행버스를 타야 했음에도 불구하고 늘 밤잠을 설칠 만큼 설레기만 했더랬지요. 방학기간이라 그런지 아니면 늘 그랬는지는 모르지만 버스는 몸을 바로 세울 수 없을 만큼 만원 버스였고 동생들을 챙겨서 가는 일이 보통 번거로운 일이 아니었을 텐데 말입니다.
하지만 외가에 도착하면 반가운 웃음이 가득한 얼굴로 정말 버선발로 뛰어나와 반겨주시던 외할머니, 아이들 왔다며 씨암탉 잡아주시던 외숙모님의 남다른 사랑은 아직도 감동적입니다. 대문 앞의 호두나무에서 떨어진 호두를 아직 도 익자면 멀었는데도 두들겨서 까먹던 일들이며 뒤뜰의 금잔화랑 피어있던 노랑꽃들, 아침 일찍 큰오빠를 따라 강에서 금방 잡은 물고기들을 고추장 양념에 지져놓고 텃밭에서 따온 고추를 된장찌개랑 먹었던 아침밥상이 아직도 눈에 선합니다. 밤이면 호롱불을 켜고 입담 좋은 외할머니의 옛날이야기를 듣다가 할머니 곁에서 잠들었던 일들을 생각하면 입가에 저절로 미소가 번지게 되지요.
가난하고 불편했던 시절이었지만 반겨주는 분들이 계셔서 좋았고, 서로 사랑하는 가족이 있어서 좋았습니다. 그렇게 한바탕 놀다가 집으로 돌아오면 그래도 엄마 아빠가 계신 집이 제일 좋았습니다. 조금은 극성이신 우리 어머니 잔소리도 지금 생각하면 사랑의 표현이었지요. 내가 맏딸이라고 무조건 믿어주셨던 우리 아버지, 특별히 칭찬하는 말을 하시지는 않았지만 말없이 믿어주시는 눈빛과 표정을 왜 모를까요. 아옹다옹 다투기도 했던 동생들이었지만 큰누나를 제일 좋아했던 막내까지 우리는 한 가족이었습니다.
한 가족, 하나님께서 우리에게 허락하신 귀중한 축복인 것 같습니다. 우리의 자녀들에게 아름다운 추억을 만들어줄 뿐만 아니라 믿음의 유산을 물려주고 원래 하나님으로부터 시작된 사랑이 무엇인지를 보여주는 기본 단위인 가족 말입니다. 이 땅의 가정들이 하나님의 은혜로 잘 지켜지고 가꾸어져 가기를, 그래서 본래 하나님께서 의도하셨던 천국의 모형으로서의 역할을 감당할 수 있기를 소망합니다.
This summer was exceptionally hot, and we had a lot of rain. The weeds in our yard and vegetable garden grew endlessly, giving me plenty of chores. Yet, feeling the fairly cool breeze blowing morning and evening, it seems summer will soon draw to a close. Perhaps that is why people often ask me, “Mrs. Kim, did you go away for a summer holiday?” “No, we plan to go later,” I reply. But the truth is not really that we are going later; rather, because my husband has denominational responsibilities that require him to visit the Kosin General Assembly in the Americas this autumn, we decided to skip our summer vacation altogether this year.
Even so, our son and daughter-in-law came down for their summer vacation and stayed with us for quite a while. Our son could not stay long due to work commitments, but our daughter-in-law and granddaughters had arrived beforehand. Watching them sing and play every day on the piano that had been sitting untouched, and seeing them run around the yard trying to catch frogs in the pond, I found myself thinking, This is why vacations are so wonderful. Of course, I was quite busy preparing meals for the whole family! Hearing our son say how much he cherished the memories of baking cakes with his mother when he was little, I even hosted a little baking event to make treats together with my granddaughters.
If beautiful memories can thus be woven into our granddaughters’ hearts, then I suppose I am serving faithfully as the curator of our ‘Museum of Memories.’
This brought to mind the memories preserved in my own ‘Museum of Memories’ that still sparkle brightly today. Growing up in the city, where our family of seven was crammed into a small 24-pyeong apartment, as soon as the vacation closing ceremony finished at school, we would rush off to my maternal grandparents’ home in Cheongsong. The roads were rough and travel was inconvenient—we had to get off at Andong and transfer to a slow local bus—yet my heart would flutter so much that I could hardly sleep the night before. Whether it was because of the school vacation season or just how things always were, the bus was always packed so tightly that you could barely stand upright, and taking care of my younger siblings on the journey was no small task.
Yet, the unique love of my maternal grandmother, who would run out in her stocking feet with a face beaming with welcoming smiles, and my aunt, who would slaughter a brood hen because the children had arrived, still touches my heart deeply. I can still vividly picture the walnuts that fell from the tree by the front gate, which we would crack open with stones and eat even though they were still far from ripe; the marigolds and bright yellow flowers blooming in the backyard; and the breakfast table with fresh fish caught early in the morning by my eldest brother from the river, braised in red pepper paste sauce, served alongside peppers picked fresh from the vegetable patch and soybean paste stew. Remembering how we would listen to my grandmother's captivating storytelling by the gentle glow of a kerosene lamp at night, eventually drifting off to sleep by her side, brings an effortless smile to my lips.
Though it was a time of poverty and hardship, it was wonderful because there were people who warmly welcomed us, and because we had a family that loved one another. After playing heartily like that and returning home, home with Mom and Dad was still the best place in the world. My mother's slightly fussy nagging—now that I look back on it—was simply an expression of love. And my father, who trusted me unconditionally as the eldest daughter: though he rarely spoke words of praise, how could I ever fail to understand his silent, trusting eyes and tender gaze? Even though we siblings bickered and squabbled, from my brothers and sisters to the youngest who loved his big sister most of all, we were one family.
One family—what a precious blessing God has bestowed upon us. A family is the fundamental unit that not only creates beautiful memories for our children, but also passes down a heritage of faith and demonstrates what love, which originally originated from God, truly is. It is my prayer and hope that families on this earth will be well guarded and nurtured by God’s grace, so that they may fulfill their calling as the earthly pattern and miniature of heaven that God originally intended.
Hierdie somer was buitengewoon warm, en daar het ook baie reën geval. Die onkruid in die agterplaas en groentetuin het eindeloos gegroei, wat vir my baie werk meegebring het. Tog, noudat daar oggend en aand ’n taamlik koel briesie waai, lyk dit of die somer binnekort tot ’n einde sal kom. Dalk is dit hoekom mense my so gereeld vra: “Mevrou Kim, was julle al met somervakansie weg?” “Nee, ons beplan om later te gaan,” antwoord ek dan. Maar om die waarheid te sê, is dit nie werklik dat ons later met vakansie gaan nie; aangesien my man vanweë kerklike verpligtinge die Kosin Algemene Sinode in Amerika in die herfs moet bywoon, het ons besluit om die somervakansie vanjaar heeltemal oor te slaan.
Tog het ons seun en skoondogter vir die somervakansie hierheen gekom en ’n hele rukkie by ons deurgebring. Ons seun moes werk en kon dus nie lank bly nie, maar ons skoondogter en kleindogters was reeds vroeër hier. Om te sien hoe hulle elke dag sing en speel op die klavier wat lank onaangeraak gestaan het, en hoe hulle in die agterplaas rondhardloop om paddas in die dammetjie te vang, het my laat dink: Dís waarom vakansie so kosbaar is. Natuurlik was ek maar taamlik besig om vir die hele gesin kos te kook! Toe my seun vertel hoe baie hy die herinneringe koester van toe hy klein was en saam met sy ma koek gebak het, het ek selfs ’n klein bakgeleentheid gereël om saam met my kleindogters lekker dinge te maak en te eet.
As daar sodoende pragtige herinneringe in die harte van ons kleindogters gevorm kan word, dan vervul ek my rol as kurator van ons ‘Museum van Herinneringe’ sekerlik goed.
Dit het my laat terugdink aan die kosbare herinneringe wat in my eie ‘Museum van Herinneringe’ bewaar word en vandag nog helder skitter. Toe ons in die stad as ’n gesin van sewe saaggehok in ’n klein woonstel van vier-en-twintig pyeong gewoon het, sou ons met die aanbreek van die skoolvakansie, skaars nadat die laaste skooldag verby was, dadelik na my ouma en oupa aan moederskant in Cheongsong gehaas het. Die paaie was sleg en die vervoer baie ongerieflik—ons moes by Andong afklim en op ’n stadige plaaslike bus klim—maar tog was ek elke keer so opgewonde dat ek die nag vantevore skaars ’n oog kon toemaak. Of dit nou vanweë die vakansietydperk was of maar net altyd so gegaan het, die bus was altyd so stampvol dat ’n mens skaars regop kon staan, en om na my jonger boeties en sussies om te sien, was gewis geen maklike taak nie.
Maar die hartlike liefde van my ouma, wat met ’n gesig vol blye glimlagte waarlik kaalvoet uitgehardloop het om ons te verwelkom, en my tante, wat ’n broeihen geslag het omdat die kinders opdaag, raak my hart vandag nog diep. Ek kan die okkerneute wat van die boom voor die hek afgeval het en wat ons met klippe stukkend geslaan en geëet het al was hulle nog lank nie ryp nie, die gousblomme en geel blomme wat in die agtertuin geblom het, en die ontbyttafel met vars vis wat my oudste broer vroegoggend in die rivier gevang het—gesmoor in brandrissiesous en bedien met soetrissies vars uit die groentetuin en sojaboonbredie—steeds helder voor my sien. Wanneer ek dink aan hoe ons saans by die flou lig van ’n paraffienlampie geluister het na my ouma se boeiende stories en uiteindelik knus langs haar aan die slaap geraak het, kom daar vanself ’n glimlag op my gesig.
Al was dit ’n arm en ongerieflike tydperk, was dit wonderlik omdat daar mense was wat ons met ope arms ontvang het, en omdat ons ’n familie gehad het wat mekaar liefgehad het. Nadat ons so na hartelus gespeel het en weer huis toe gekom het, was die huis waar Pa en Ma was, tog die heel beste plek. My ma se ietwat veeleisende gekerm—as ek nou daaraan dink—was maar net ’n uitdrukking van haar liefde. En my pa, wat my as sy oudste dogter onvoorwaardelik vertrou het: al het hy min lofwoorde uitgespreek, hoe sou ek ooit sy stille, vertrouende oë en blik kon miskyk? Al het ons kinders soms vasgesit en baklei, was ons—tot by die jongste boetie wat die meeste van sy oudste ousus gehou het—een gesin.
Een gesin—wat ’n kosbare seën wat God ons geskenk het. ’n Gesin is die basiese bousteen wat nie net pragtige herinneringe vir ons kinders skep nie, maar ook ’n erfenis van geloof oordra en wys wat die liefde, wat oorspronklik van God afkomstig is, werklik beteken. Dit is my innige hoop en gebed dat gesinne op hierdie aarde deur God se genade bewaar en gekoester sal word, sodat hulle hul roeping kan vervul as die aardse afspieëling en model van die hemel soos God dit oorspronklik bedoel het.