이번 여름에는 파리에 사는 아들네를 다녀왔습니다.실은 브라질 아마존에서 라틴아메리카 한국선교사님들의 모임을 위해 갈 일이 있었는데 파리를 경유하는 표를 사서 간 것이지요. 아들이 언제 귀국할 지 모르니 속히 한 번 다녀가라는 요청도 있었던 것입니다. 그동안 해외에 갈 일이 있어도 늘 일로 가다 보니 어머님을 모시고 가지 못했었는데 이번에는 그토록 사랑하는 손자네 방문이기도 해서 함께 모시고 갔습니다. 연세가 여든아홉이셔서 조금은 염려가 되었지만 건강하신 편이라 휠체어도 빌리고 용기를 내었습니다.
우리가 간다니까 런던에 사는 동생도 꼭 왔다가라 하고, 스위스에서 사역하는 선교사님도 꼭 다녀가라고 하다 보니 여기저기 좀 다니기도 했습니다. 가는 곳마다 많은 관광객들을 보고 어머님 말씀이 “우리는 친척집 방문하는 거라 하지만 웬 사람들이 이리 많이도 다니는지 모르겠다. 돈도 많이 들텐데 말이다.”
스위스로 간다니까 카레이서(제 남편이 며느리에게 운전을 잘 한다고 붙여준 별명) 우리 며느리가 자기도 아이들과 함께 직접 운전해서 가겠다고 했습니다. 거기다가 둘째 아들이 휴가를 내어 우리를 뒤쫓아 오는 바람에 식구가 많아졌습니다. 원래 예상했던 로잔의 선교부 숙소의 방 하나로는 부족해서 마침 한국에 들어간 선교사님의 집을 며칠 빌렸습니다.
그래서 6세부터 89세까지 4대가 함께 다니게 되었습니다. 물론 등산을 한다든가 휠체어가 갈 수 없는 곳은 포기해야 했지만 즐거웠습니다. 관심사도 서로 판이하게 달라 어린이 놀이터로부터 자연경치뿐만 아니라 문화공간에도 들러야 했습니다. 그러다보니 원래 생각했던 곳을 들르지 못한 일도 많았습니다. 식사도 샌드위치만으로는 만족할 수 없었지요. 덕분에 선교사님의 특별메뉴로 닭미역국도 끓여먹고 바비큐도 할 수 있어서 특별히 어머님을 위해서 좋았습니다.
프랑스에서 스위스 국경을 넘으면서 “야, 스위스다.” 누군가가 말했는데 뒤이어서 제일 꼬맹이 둘째 손녀 가은이가 소리쳤습니다. “엄마 수고했어요. 수고했어요.” 그 바람에 우리 모두는 박수를 쳤습니다. “그래, 수고했다. 베스트 드라이버다.” 서로의 기분을 맞춰가며 격려하며 함께 걷기도 하고 자동차나 기차를 타기도 하며 아름다운 스위스의 자연을 즐겼습니다. 어머님 휠체어도 차례를 정하지도 않았지만 그냥 돌아가면서 밀어드리고 한 번씩 손녀들이 뒤에 올라타기도 하며 혹 아이들이 뒤질세라 속도를 조절하고 쉬어가기도 했습니다. 사진 찍기를 좋아하는 아이들과 어른들이 번갈아 사진을 찍기도 해서 나중에 아마 사진 정리하려면 꽤 골치가 아플 것입니다.
함께 했던 선교사님으로부터 “이렇게 4대가 함께 관광을 다니는 것도 처음 봤지만 전혀 의사소통의 문제가 없으며 목적의식이 확실해서 별로 안내가 필요없는 가족”이라는 평을 받았습니다. 비싼 입장료를 내는 곳은 들어가지 않는 것은 기본이고 쇼핑하는 일에는 전혀 관심도 없는, 조금은 이상한 그룹이라는 것이지요. 처음부터 관광이 목적이 아니라 가족모임이고 친지 방문이다 보니 함께 있다는 것만으로도 우리는 감사했습니다. 하나님께서 허락하신 자연을 즐기고 우리에게 가족을 주셔서 사랑하게 하심을 순간순간 감사했습니다.
에디스 쉐이퍼 여사가「가정이란 무엇인가」라는 책에서 했던 말이 생각납니다. “가족은 서로에게 지적으로, 감정적으로, 영적으로, 신체적으로, 심리적으로 영향을 줍니다. 통일성과 다양성이 있고 형식과 자유가 있는 그 곳이 바로 가정입니다. 노인, 젊은이, 어린이, 아기가 다 가냘픈 줄로 함께 연결되어 있습니다. 이해해 줄 수 있는 가족이 있다는 사실을 아는 것은 이중적인 축복이 됩니다. 누군가가 당신의 삶에 대해 진정으로 관심을 가지고 있다는 사실은 도움이 됩니다. 오해받지 않고 자기를 자유롭게 표현할 수 있고 서로 터놓고 무슨 말이든지 할 수 있어서 좋습니다.”
This summer, we visited our son's family in Paris. In truth, I had to travel to the Brazilian Amazon for a gathering of Korean missionaries serving in Latin America, and I bought an itinerary that routed through Paris. My son had also urged us to visit soon, not knowing when his family might return to Korea. In the past, even when traveling abroad, it was always for ministry work, so I could never bring my mother-in-law along. But this time, because it was a visit to her deeply cherished grandson's family, we took her with us. Since she was eighty-nine years old, we were naturally a bit concerned; yet she was quite healthy, so we rented a wheelchair, took courage, and set out.
When news reached them that we were coming, my sibling living in London insisted that we come by, and a missionary serving in Switzerland also urged us to visit. As a result, we ended up traveling here and there. Seeing the crowds of tourists everywhere we went, Mother observed, "We are traveling to visit our relatives, but I can't fathom why so many people are wandering about like this. It must cost a fortune, too."
When she heard we were heading to Switzerland, our daughter-in-law—whom my husband nicknamed the "race car driver" because of her great driving skills—announced that she, too, would drive there with the children. On top of that, our second son took leave from work to catch up with us, making our party quite large. The single room we had originally planned to stay in at the Lausanne mission house was not enough, so we rented the home of a missionary who happened to be visiting Korea for a few days.
And so, four generations, ranging from six to eighty-nine years of age, found themselves traveling together. Of course, hiking up mountains or visiting places inaccessible to wheelchairs had to be given up, yet it was thoroughly delightful. Everyone's interests were vastly different: we had to make stops at children's playgrounds, natural scenic spots, and cultural landmarks alike. Consequently, there were many places we had originally intended to visit but couldn't. Meals, too, could never be satisfied with just sandwiches. Thanks to that, we were able to cook the missionary's specialty—chicken and seaweed soup—and enjoy barbecues, which was especially wonderful for Mother.
As we crossed the border from France into Switzerland, someone exclaimed, "Look, it's Switzerland!" Immediately following, our youngest grandchild, little Gaeun, cried out, "Mom, you worked so hard! Great job!" At that, we all burst into applause: "Yes, wonderful job! You truly are the best driver!" Mindful of each other's feelings and offering mutual encouragement, we walked together, took cars and trains, and delighted in the breathtaking natural beauty of Switzerland. Without taking turns formally, we simply rotated pushing Mother's wheelchair; occasionally the granddaughters hopped onto the back for a ride, and we adjusted our pace and paused for rests so the children would not fall behind. With both photo-loving children and adults taking turns behind the lens, sorting through the pictures later will probably cause quite a headache.
Afterward, the missionary who spent time with us remarked: "I have never seen four generations touring together like this before. Yet there are no communication issues whatsoever, and because your sense of purpose is so clear, you hardly need a guide." He playfully called us a somewhat unusual group—never entering places with steep admission fees as a matter of course, and showing absolutely zero interest in shopping. Because our purpose from the very beginning was not sightseeing, but a family gathering and visiting loved ones, just being together was reason enough to give thanks. We gave thanks at every single moment for the gift of enjoying God's splendid creation, and for the family He has entrusted to us to love.
I am reminded of what Edith Schaeffer wrote in her book What Is a Family?:
"A family affects one another intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and psychologically. A family is a place where unity and diversity, form and freedom coexist. The elderly, the young, children, and infants are all bound together by delicate threads. Knowing that you have a family who understands you is a double blessing. It helps greatly to know that someone genuinely cares about your life. It is wonderful to be able to express yourself freely without fear of misunderstanding, and to share openly whatever is on your heart."
Hierdie somer het ons by ons seun se gesin in Parys gaan kuier. Eintlik moes ek na die Brasiliaanse Amasone reis vir 'n byeenkoms van Koreaanse sendelinge wat in Latyns-Amerika dien, en ek het 'n vliegkaartjie gekoop wat via Parys loop. My seun het ook aangedring dat ons gou moet kom kuier, aangesien niemand geweet het wanneer hulle gesin na Korea sou terugkeer nie. In die verlede, selfs wanneer ek oorsee moes reis, was dit altyd vir bedieningswerk, sodat ek my skoonmoeder nooit kon saambring nie. Maar hierdie keer, aangesien dit 'n besoek aan haar geliefde kleinseun se gesin was, het ons haar saamgeneem. Sy was reeds nege-en-tagtig jaar oud, so ons was 'n bietjie besorg; tog was sy heel gesond, en daarom het ons 'n rolstoel gehuur, moed geskep en vertrek.
Toe hulle hoor dat ons kom, het my sibbe in Londen daarop aangedring dat ons moet aandoen, en 'n sendeling wat in Switserland arbei, het ons ook dringend genooi om te kom besoek. Gevolglik het ons hier en daar 'n hele ent gereis. Toe Moeder oral die hordes toeriste sien, het sy opgemerk: "Ons reis om familie te besoek, maar ek kan nie begryp waarom so baie mense so rondswerf nie. Dit moet tog 'n fortuin kos."
Toe sy hoor ons gaan Switserland toe, het ons skoondogter—wat deur my man die bynaam "renjaer" gegee is vanweë haar uitstekende bestuursvernuf—gesê dat sy en die kinders self soontoe sou ry. Boonop het ons tweede seun verlof geneem om ons agterna te reis, sodat ons geselskap taamlik groot geword het. Die enkele kamer wat ons aanvanklik by die sendinghuis in Lausanne beplan het, was heeltemal te min, en daarom het ons vir 'n paar dae die huis gehuur van 'n sendeling wat toevallig na Korea gereis het.
En so het vier geslagte, van ses tot nege-en-tagtig jaar oud, saam begin reis. Natuurlik moes ons bergklimritte of plekke waar 'n rolstoel nie kon kom nie, laat vaar, maar dit was nietemin 'n vreugde. Almal se belangstellings was hemelsbreed verskillend: ons moes by speelgronde vir die kleintjies aandoen, sowel as by natuurskoon en kulturele besienswaardighede. Gevolglik kon ons baie plekke wat ons aanvanklik wou sien, nie besoek nie. Met etes kon ons ook nie net met toebroodjies klaarkom nie. Danksy dit kon ons die sendeling se spesiale gereg—hoender- en seewiersop—kook en heerlik braai, wat veral vir Moeder 'n groot lafenis was.
Toe ons die grens van Frankryk na Switserland oorsteek, het iemand uitgeroep: "Kyk, dis Switserland!" Net daarna het ons jongste kleindogter, klein Gaeun, luidkeels geskree: "Mamma, baie dankie vir die harde werk! Goed gedoen!" Daaroor het ons almal hande geklap: "Ja, baie mooi gedoen! Jy is voorwaar die beste bestuurder!" Terwyl ons mekaar se gemoed in ag geneem en mekaar aangemoedig het, het ons saam gestap, per motor en trein gereis en die asemrowende natuur van Switserland geniet. Sonder om beurte formeel vas te stel, het ons Moeder se rolstoel maar om die beurt gestoot; kort-kort het die kleindogters agterop gespring vir 'n rit, en ons het ons pas aangepas en gerus sodat die kinders nie sou agterbly nie. Aangesien sowel die fotolustige kinders as die grootmense mekaar afgelos het met die kamera, gaan dit later sekerlik 'n reuse-kopseer wees om al die foto's te orden.
Die sendeling wat saam met ons was, het opgemerk: "Ek het nog nooit gesien dat vier geslagte só saam toer nie. En tog is daar hoegenaamd geen kommunikasieprobleme nie, en omdat julle doelgerigtheid so helder is, het julle skaars 'n gids nodig." Hy het ons skertsend 'n taamlik eienaardige groepie genoem—wat as vanselfsprekendheid nooit plekke met duur toegangsgeld besoek nie en geen greintjie belangstelling in inkopies toon nie. Omdat ons doel van die begin af nie toerisme was nie, maar 'n gesinsbyeenkoms en 'n besoek aan geliefdes, was dit vir ons genoeg rede tot dankbaarheid net om saam te wees. Oomblik vir oomblik was ons dankbaar om die natuur wat God geskenk het te geniet, en dat Hy vir ons 'n gesin gegee het om lief te hê.
Ek dink aan die woorde van Edith Schaeffer in haar boek What Is a Family?:
"'n Gesin beïnvloed mekaar intellektueel, emosioneel, geestelik, fisiek en sielkundig. 'n Gesin is 'n plek waar eenheid en verskeidenheid, vorm en vryheid saamleef. Bejaardes, jongmense, kinders en suigelinge is almal saam verbind deur fyn, brose drade. Om te weet dat jy 'n gesin het wat jou verstaan, is 'n dubbele seën. Dit help baie om te weet dat iemand werklik omgee vir jou lewe. Dit is wonderlik om jouself vrylik te kan uitdruk sonder die vrees vir misverstande, en om openhartig en vrymoedig oor enigiets te kan praat."