서울을 다녀올 일이 있어서 KTX를 타고 대구에서 내렸습니다. 시계를 보니 한 시가 다 되어, 울산가는 버스를 타기 전에 점심을 먹는 것이 좋을 것 같았습니다. 주위를 둘러보는데 무슨 체인점인지 우동집이 눈에 들어왔습니다. 갑자기 식욕이 당기며 우동이 먹고 싶어졌습니다. 막상 들어가보니 말이 우동집이지 순두부찌개며 돌솥비빔밥이며 여러 가지 메뉴가 다양했습니다. 하지만 굳이 우동을 시켰습니다.
첫 젓가락으로 우동을 입에 넣는 순간 쿡쿡 웃음이 나왔습니다. ‘내가 언제부터 우동을 좋아하게 되었지?’ 나는 원래 우동이나 국수를 좋아하지 않았습니다. 그런데 결혼을 하고보니 남편은 면을 아주 좋아하는 분이었습니다. 모든 종류의 면을 가리지 않고 좋아하는 겁니다. 온면이든 냉면이든 라면, 국수, 스파게티 심지어는 불어터진 국수까지 좋아하더라고요. 그럼에도 불구하고 내가 국수를 좋아하지 않다보니 주부의 횡포(?)로 국수가 우리 식탁에 자주 오르지 는 않았습니다. “국수 좀 먹자”고 신청을 하면 그제야 국수를 만들곤 했습니다. 그래도 잘 해볼 거라고 사랑하는 남편을 위해「밥보다 더 좋은 국수」, 「국수 & 면요리」등의 책들을 사기도 했지만 자주 먹는다는 것이 쉽지는 않았습니다.
그러던 어느 날 아침에 남편이 또 국수를 신청했습니다. “오늘 저녁에는 국수 한 번 먹자.” “그럽시다.” 쉽게 약속을 했습니다. 그런데 점심 때 심방을 하는 가운데 냉면을 먹게 되었습니다. 그러니 나는 저녁에 또 면을 먹고 싶지 않아서 “여보, 낮에 냉면 먹었으니 저녁에는 그냥 밥 먹으면 안 될까요?”라고 물었습니다. 남편이 대뜸 대답하는 말이 “아니, 당신은 아침, 점심, 저녁 세 번 다 밥을 먹어도 아무 이상이 없다고 생각하면서 하루 두 번 면을 먹는다고 왜 안되죠?” “그러네요···.” 생각해보니 그 말도 맞는 것 같았습니다.
그런데 언제부터인가 나도 면을 좋아하게 되었습니다. 요즈음 와서는 남편이 혈당 관리를 위해서 되도록 국수를 먹지 않는데도 불구하고 이제는 내가 국수를 한 번씩 먹고 싶어한다는 것입니다. 혼자 대구역 구내에서 점심을 먹는데 구태여 우동을 시켜먹는다는 것이 우스운 일이 아닙니까? 그러고 보니 35년을 함께 살면서 입맛뿐 아니라 서로 닮아진 것이 한두 가지가 아닙니다.
하루는 남편이 “쓴 물건을 제 자리에 둬야지, 이렇게 아무데나 두면 찾기 힘들지요.”라고 합니다. 그냥 불쑥 한 말입니다. 그러나 우리는 서로 쳐다보면서 웃고 말았습니다. 이런 말은 그동안 내가 남편에게 했던 말입니다. 사람 좋아하는 남편과 살다보니 나도 사람들이 좋아졌습니다. 나도 모르게 “여보, 그 분들을 식사초대하면 어떨까요?”라고 말하기도 합니다. 많은 분들이 남편이 초대하는 일을 도맡아 일을 벌인다고 생각하지만 꼭 그렇지만은 않은 것 같습니다. 어느 집사님이 그러시더라고요. “아니, 목사님이 일 만드는 줄 알았더니 이제 보니 사모님도 일 만드는 데는 한 수 하시네요.”
거의 정반대의 성격을 가진 우리가 만나 살면서 처음에는 이해가 안 되는 일이 참 많았는데 살다보니 이제는 서로 많이 닮아지고 서로 이해할 수 있는 친구로 함께 살게 됨을 감사하게 됩니다. 함께 살다보면 성격도 닮아가고 아마 모습도 닮아가는 모양입니다. 요즈음에 와서 “목사님과 많이 닮으셨어요.”라는 말을 심심찮게 듣는 걸 보면 말입니다. 그래서 제가 남편에게 그랬습니다. “내가 당신하고 닮았다네요. 나는 잘 모르겠는데···.” 남편이 “안 닮을 수가 있나, 맨날 서로 쳐다보고 함께 살고 있으니”라며 웃습니다. 맞는 말입니다.
그러면서 생각을 하게 되었습니다. ‘맞아! 매일 쳐다보면서 함께 살면 닮아지는 거지, 주님을 날마다 아니 매 순간 바라보고 그 분의 말씀을 묵상하며 기도로 교제하게 되면 주님을 닮아가겠구나!’ 아직은 멀었지만 좋으신 그 분을 날마다 조금씩이라도 닮아가고 싶은 것이 제 소원입니다.
Having had business in Seoul, I took the KTX train and got off at Daegu. Glancing at my watch, I saw it was nearly one o'clock, so I thought it best to have lunch before catching the bus back to Ulsan. Looking around, an udon restaurant—perhaps a franchise—caught my eye. All of a sudden, an appetite stirred within me, and I craved a bowl of udon. When I stepped inside, although it called itself an udon shop, the menu was surprisingly diverse, offering soft tofu stew, sizzling stone-pot bibimbap, and much more. Even so, I insisted on ordering the udon.
The moment I lifted that first chopstickful to my lips, a soft chuckle escaped me. Since when did I come to love udon so much? Truth be told, I had never cared much for noodles or udon. But after getting married, I discovered that my husband was a passionate lover of noodles. He loved every single kind without exception. Hot noodles, cold noodles, ramyeon, banquet noodles, spaghetti—even soggy, overcooked noodles, he relished them all. Still, because I was never fond of noodles myself, through a homemaker’s quiet tyranny, noodles rarely graced our family table. Only when he placed a formal request—"Could we have some noodles?"—would I finally prepare them. Wanting to do my best for my beloved husband, I even bought cookbooks like Noodles Better than Rice and Noodle & Pasta Dishes, but serving them often remained no easy task for me.
Then one morning, my husband put in his request again. "Let’s have noodles for dinner tonight." "All right, let’s do that," I readily agreed. However, during pastoral visitations at lunchtime, I ended up eating cold noodles (naengmyeon). Reluctant to eat noodles again that evening, I asked, "Honey, since I had cold noodles at lunchtime, couldn't we just have rice for dinner?" Without missing a beat, he replied, "Why, you think nothing of eating rice three times a day—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Why should having noodles twice a day be out of the question?" "Well, that's true..." Thinking about it, his point seemed entirely fair.
Yet somewhere along the way, I too began to love noodles. Nowadays, even though my husband avoids noodles as much as possible to manage his blood sugar, I am the one who finds herself craving a bowl from time to time. Isn't it rather amusing that, eating lunch all by myself inside Daegu Station, I went out of my way to order udon? Come to think of it, living together for thirty-five years, our tastes are far from the only things that have grown alike.
One day, my husband remarked out of nowhere, "You should put things back where they belong after using them; if you leave them lying around, they’re hard to find." We looked at each other and burst into laughter. For years, that was the very phrase I had repeated to him! Living with a husband who genuinely loves people, I too have grown fond of company. Before I know it, I catch myself saying, "Honey, what do you think about inviting them over for a meal?" Many people assume my husband is always the one initiating and hosting gatherings, but that is no longer entirely true. One deaconess remarked with a smile, "My goodness, I thought the pastor was always the one stirring up events, but it turns out the pastor’s wife has quite a knack for hosting too!"
We began our married life with almost opposite personalities, and in the beginning, there was so much we struggled to understand about one another. Yet through the passing years, we have grown so alike, and I am profoundly grateful that we now walk together as dear friends who truly understand each other. When you live together, your temperaments seem to blend, and perhaps your appearances do as well. These days, people frequently tell me, "You look so much like the pastor!" So I said to him, "People say I look like you. I really don't see it, though..." With a gentle smile, my husband replied, "How could we not look alike? We look at each other every single day and share the same life." And he was right.
That led me to a quiet realization: That's it! When you look at each other every day and share life together, you naturally become alike. In the same way, if I gaze upon the Lord each day—indeed, in every single moment—meditating on His Word and communing with Him in prayer, I will surely grow to resemble Him! I still have so far to go, yet my deepest longing is to grow, day by day, even just a little more into the likeness of our wonderful Lord.
Ek moes vir 'n saak in Seoel wees en het met die KTX-sneltrein teruggereis en by Daegu afgeklim. Toe ek op my horlosie kyk, was dit al amper eenuur, en ek het gedink dit sou goed wees om middagete te eet voordat ek die bus na Ulsan haal. Terwyl ek rondkyk, het 'n oedoen-noedelrestaurant—moontlik 'n kettingwinkel—my oog gevang. Skielik het my eetlus opgevlam en ek het 'n groot lus vir oedoen gekry. Toe ek egter binnegaan, het dit wel 'n oedoen-winkel geheet, maar die spyskaart was verbasend uiteenlopend, met sagte tofu-bredie (sundubu-jjigae), warm klipbak-bibimbap en allerhande ander geregte. Nietemin het ek juis die oedoen bestel.
Die oomblik toe ek die eerste happie met my eetstokkies in my mond sit, het ek saggies in myself begin lag. Vandat wanneer af hou ek dan so baie van oedoen? Om die waarheid te sê, het ek voorheen nooit werklik van noedels gehou nie. Maar toe ek trou, het ek ontdek dat my man 'n vurige liefhebber van noedels is. Hy het van enige soort noedels gehou, sonder uitsondering. Warm noedels, koue noedels, ramyeon, fyn noedels, spaghetti—selfs papgekookte, geswelde noedels het hy met smaak geniet. Omdat ek self egter nie van noedels gehou het nie, het noedels deur 'n huisvrou se stilswyende tirannie selde op ons tafel verskyn. Eers wanneer hy vriendelik versoek het: "Kan ons asseblief noedels eet?" het ek dit uiteindelik gemaak. Omdat ek my bes vir my geliefde man wou doen, het ek selfs kookboeke soos Noedels Beter as Rys en Noedel- & Pastageregte aangeskaf, maar om dit gereeld voor te sit, was vir my nie maklik nie.
Toe, op 'n oggend, het my man weer gevra: "Kom ons eet vanaand noedels." "Nou maar goed, laat ons so maak," het ek geredelik ingestem. Tydens huisbesoek die middag het ons egter koue noedels (naengmyeon) vir middagete geëet. Omdat ek nie lus was om die aand weer noedels te eet nie, vra ek toe: "Liefie, aangesien ek vanmiddag koue noedels geëet het, kan ons nie maar vanaand net rys eet nie?" Sonder om te blik of te bloos antwoord hy dadelik: "Nou maar hoor hier, jy dink niks daarvan om drie maal per dag—oggend, middag en aand—rys te eet nie; waarom sou 'n mens dan nie twee maal op 'n dag noedels kon eet nie?" "Nou ja, dis waar..." het ek gedink, want sy woorde het tog heeltemal sin gemaak.
En tog, sonder dat ek mooi weet wanneer dit gebeur het, het ek self ook gaandeweg van noedels begin hou. Deesdae, terwyl my man noedels sover moontlik vermy om sy bloedsuiker te beheer, is dit juis ek wat af en toe daarna verlang. Is dit nie nogal snaaks dat ek, terwyl ek heeltemal stoksielalleen in die Daegu-stasie middagete eet, juis oedoen bestel het nie? As ek daaroor nadink, na vyf-en-dertig jaar van saamwees, is dit beslis nie net ons smaak wat begin ooreenstem het nie.
Eendag sê my man sommer so ewe: "'n Mens moet dinge terugsit waar dit hoort nadat jy dit gebruik het; as jy dit net so laat rondlê, kry 'n mens dit mos nie weer nie." Dit was sommer 'n terloopse opmerking. Maar ons het mekaar aangekyk en kliphard gelag. Jare lank was dit presies die woorde wat ék altyd vir hóm gesê het! Omdat ek saam met 'n man leef wat mense innig liefhet, het ek self ook baie lief geword vir mense. Voor ek my kom kry, vra ek: "Liefie, wat dink jy daarvan as ons daardie mense vir ete nooi?" Baie mense dink my man is altyd die een wat dinge reël en mense nooi, maar dit blyk nie meer heeltemal so te wees nie. 'n Sekere diaken het eendag met 'n glimlag opgemerk: "Allemintig, ek het altyd gedink dit is net die dominee wat sulke dinge aanvang, maar nou sien ek die dominee se vrou kan self ook 'n plan beraam!"
Ons het ons huwelik begin met karakters wat byna lynreg teenoor mekaar gestaan het, en in die begin was daar soveel dinge wat ons moeilik van mekaar kon verstaan. Maar namate die jare verbygegaan het, het ons so baie soos mekaar geword, en ek is innig dankbaar dat ons vandag saamleef as boesemvriende wat mekaar werklik verstaan. Wanneer 'n mens so lank saamleef, begin jou geaardheid blykbaar ooreenstem—en dalk selfs jou voorkoms ook. Deesdae hoor ek immers gereeld mense sê: "U lyk darem baie soos die dominee!" Toe sê ek vir my man: "Mense sê ek lyk soos jy. Ek self kan dit nie regtig sien nie..." My man het geglimlag en gesê: "Hoe kan ons dan anders as om soos mekaar te lyk? Ons kyk mekaar immers elke dag in die oë en deel dieselfde lewe." En hy was heeltemal reg.
Dit het my tot 'n diep besef gebring: Dis waar! As 'n mens mekaar daagliks aanskou en saamleef, word julle soos mekaar. Net so, as ek elke dag—nee, elke liewe oomblik—my oë op die Here gerig hou, Sy Woord oordink en in gebed met Hom wandel, sal ek gewis al meer na Sy beeld verander! Al lê daar nog 'n lang pad voor my, bly dit my hartewens om elke dag, al is dit net 'n klein bietjie, meer soos ons goeie Here te word.