마침 집에 내려와 있던 둘째 아들이 친구들 얘기를 하면서 “네, 그 친구들은 결혼하고 재미있게 잘 살아요, 서로 험담도 안하고, 네, 그리스도인 가정이 그래야 되겠지요.”라고 하길래, 그냥 별 생각 없이 “그래? 그럼 우리는 어떤 것 같으냐?”고 물었습니다. “뭐 괜찮은 것 같아요. 그런데 아침부터 저녁까지 두 분이 맨날 일만 하시니 그게 좀 문제지요.”라고 하네요.
그 다음날은 식사 시간에 또 뭔가 도움이 필요한 성도의 얘기를 한참 하고 있는데 “두 분은 할 수 없다니까요. 식사 시간에도 또 일 얘기지요? 뭐 직장 동료니까 그렇긴 하겠지만…”이라며 놀리더라고요. “하하, 직장 동료? 그래 우리는 직장 동료다. 왜?” 할 말이 없어서 웃고 말았지만 정말 내가 생각해도 그 말이 일리가 있습니다. 잔다고 누워서도 교회 이야기고 사역 이야기를 하다가 잠을 설치기도 하니 말입니다. 어제 밤에도 할 일이 있다며 한밤 중에 일어나서 일을 하시더라고요.
남편이 한 번씩 나를 놀리고 싶으면 하는 말이 있지요. “당신 정말 시집 잘 왔다. 옛날에 그 오리표 싱크대 대리점 하던 사람한테 시집갔으면 어땠을까?” 한참 혼담이 오가던 시절에 누군가가 중매를 설 거라고, 어느 백화점 앞에서 오리 표 싱크대 대리점을 하는 총각이 있는데 교회도 잘 다니고 살기도 괜찮다면서 우리 어머니에게 소개를 했던 모양입니다. 조금은 극성이신 우리 친정어머니는 나한테는 말도 안하고 바로 다음날인가 그 싱크대 가게를 찾아가서 혼자 보고 왔다는 것이지요. 물론 나는 선도 보지 않았고 이름도 모르는 사람이지만 말입니다.
나를 놀리는 남편에게 대답을 했지요. “그러면 싱크대 하나는 좋은 것 썼을까? 어쨌거나 싱크대에 관해서는 반 전문가는 되었겠지요.” 남편이 어떤 사업을 하든지 그 방면에 대해서는 뭔가 다른 여자들보다 아는 것이 많았을 것이고 남편의 직업이 목재를 다루면 나무 이름 정도는 꿰고 있을 것 같습니다. 교사의 아내이면 요즈음 교육계 동향이나 학생들의 취향에 대해서 좀 알고 있을 것 같고 말입니다.
그런데 남편이 목사이니 대화의 주제가 늘 교회 이야기 아니면 성도들 이야기고 아니면 말씀에 관한 이야기를 주로 하게 되지요. 생각해보면 감사한 일입니다. 나같이 게으른 사람이 목사를 남편으로 안 만났으면 지금처럼 신앙생활 열심히 했을까요? 어쩔 수 없이 보고 듣는 일이며 관심사가 늘 교회 주변을 맴돌게 되었으니 그런 축복이 또 있겠습니까? 그래서 기도도 더 하게 되고 하나님께 더 가까이 나아가게 되었으니 말입니다.
결혼 전에는 믿지 않으시는 부모님의 핍박도 있었고 교회가 멀기도 해서 밤 예배 참석은 꿈도 못 꾸는 형편이라 교회 가까이 사는 것이 소원이었는데 결혼을 하고 보니 교회당 예배실과 붙어있는 방에서, 아니면 아예 교회 지하방에서 살게 되었으니 확실히 소원성취를 한 셈입니다. 개척교회에 있을 때는 늘 교회에 살다시피 하면서 교회 사찰 일이며 사무 일에다 심방 일까지 돕다보니 교회 일 말고 다른 일은 생각할 겨를이 없었습니다.
지금은 상황이 전혀 달라졌지만 바쁘긴 마찬가지입니다. 언젠가 몇 교회 교역자들이 모였는데 소개 시간에 각자 자신의 담당을 소개하더라고요. 그런데 나는 교회에서 맡은 일이 없으니까 남편이 “이 사람은 담임목사 담당입니다.”라고 해서 모두 한바탕 웃었지만 아닌 게 아니라 주님 일이라면 지칠 줄 모르고 일하는 바쁜 남편 뒷바라지부터 시작해서 큰일은 못해도 자질구레한 도우미 일들이 늘 있게 마련이지요.
잠을 설친 남편을 보니 안쓰럽기도 해서 “내가 이렇게 신앙생활 하고 사는 것도 다 당신 덕분이니 감사하고 당신과 평생을 반려자로 서로 도와가며 살게 하신 하나님께 너무 감사하답니다.”라는 말로 격려하는, 나는 사모이자 어쩔 수 없는 직장 동료입니다.
Our second son, who happened to be visiting home, was talking about his friends: "Yes, they’re married and living so happily together. They never speak ill of each other. That’s probably how a Christian home is supposed to be." Without much thought, I asked him, "Is that so? Then what do you think about us?" "Well, I think you're alright. But both of you just work all day long from morning till night, and that's a bit of a problem," he replied.
The next day during mealtime, we were talking for quite a while about a church member who needed some help. Our son teased us again: "There's really no helping you two. Talking about work during meals, too? Well, I suppose that makes sense since you're coworkers..." "Haha, coworkers? Yes, we are coworkers! Why?" Having nothing else to say, I just laughed it off, but upon reflection, his words made a lot of sense. Even when we lie down to sleep, we keep discussing the church and ministry until we toss and turn restlessly. Just last night, my husband got up in the middle of the night to work, saying there was something he needed to get done.
Whenever my husband feels like teasing me, he often says: "You really married well. What would have happened if you had married that man who ran the Oripyo kitchen sink dealership back then?" Years ago, when marriage proposals were coming my way, someone tried to arrange a match, telling my mother about a bachelor who owned an Oripyo sink agency in front of a department store. They said he was faithful at church and quite well-off. My mother, who could be a bit overzealous, went to that sink store the very next day to check him out on her own without saying a word to me. Of course, I never met the man for a blind date and didn't even know his name.
I replied to my teasing husband, "If I had, wouldn't I at least have had a top-quality kitchen sink? Either way, I probably would have become half an expert on sinks by now." Whatever business a husband runs, his wife naturally ends up knowing more about that field than other women. If a husband works with timber, his wife would know tree species by heart. A teacher's wife would likely be well-versed in current educational trends and students' preferences.
Yet because my husband is a pastor, the topics of our conversation are constantly about the church, the congregation, or the Word of God. When I think about it, I am truly grateful. If a lazy person like me hadn’t met a pastor for a husband, would I ever have lived out my faith with such devotion as I do now? Everything I inevitably see and hear, every interest I have, revolves around the church—what greater blessing could there be? Because of this, I pray more and draw ever closer to God.
Before getting married, facing opposition from my non-believing parents and living far from church, attending evening services was an impossible dream. My heartfelt wish was simply to live close to a church. Yet after getting married, I ended up living in a room attached right next to the sanctuary, or even in the church basement; my wish was definitely granted beyond measure. When we were serving a pioneer church plant, we practically lived in the church building, taking care of janitorial chores, administrative tasks, and pastoral visitations. There was hardly any time to think about anything other than church work.
Things are completely different now, but we are just as busy. Once, several church workers from different congregations gathered together, and during the introductions, each person described their respective duties. Since I held no official title in the church, my husband quipped, "This person is in charge of the senior pastor." Everyone burst into laughter, but truthfully, starting with supporting my busy husband—who works tirelessly for the Lord's work—there are always countless little supporting tasks to be done, even if they aren't grand achievements.
Seeing my husband after a restless night of sleep, my heart aches for him. So I encourage him, saying, "It is all thanks to you that I can live out my faith and life like this, and I am so deeply grateful to God for letting us live as lifelong companions who support each other." Yes, I am a pastor’s wife, and undeniably, his coworker.
Ons tweede seun, wat toevallig by die huis kom kuier het, het van sy vriende vertel: “Ja, daardie vriende is getroud en leef so gelukkig saam. Hulle praat nooit lelik van mekaar nie. Ja, dít is seker hoe ’n Christelike gesin behoort te wees.” Sonder om veel te dink, het ek gevra: “Is dit so? En wat dink jy van ons?” “Nou ja, ek dink julle is oukei. Maar julle twee werk van die oggend tot die aand net heeltyd, en dít is nogal ’n probleem,” het hy gesê.
Die volgende dag tydens etensuur het ons weer lank gesels oor ’n gemeentelid wat hulp nodig gehad het, toe hy ons weer terg: “Met julle twee kan ’n mens niks uitrig nie. Praat julle selfs tydens etenstyd weer oor werk? Wel, julle is seker werkskollegas, so dit maak sin…” “Haha, werkskollegas? Ja, ons is werkskollegas! En wat daarvan?” Omdat ek niks anders gehad het om te sê nie, het ek maar net gelag, maar as ek self daaroor nadink, het sy woorde baie sin gemaak. Selfs wanneer ons gaan lê om te slaap, praat ons nog oor die gemeente en die bediening totdat ons rondrol en nie kan slaap nie. Gisteraand het my man selfs in die middel van die nag opgestaan om te werk omdat daar iets was wat afgehandel moes word.
Wanneer my man my wil terg, sê hy dikwels: “Jy het regtig goed getrou. Wat sou geword het as jy getroud was met daardie man wat destyds die Oripyo-opwasbakagentskap gehad het?” Jare gelede, toe daar sprake van huweliksaansoeke was, wou iemand ’n pasmaat reël en het my ma vertel van ’n vrygesel wat ’n Oripyo-opwasbakwinkel voor ’n sekere afdelingswinkel besit het. Hy het gereeld kerk toe gegaan en was finansieel goed daaraan toe. My ma, wat nogal ywerig kon wees, het sonder om ’n woord vir my te sê die volgende dag self na daardie winkel gegaan om hom skelm te gaan bekyk. Natuurlik het ek hom nooit op ’n afspraak ontmoet nie en ek het nie eens sy naam geken nie.
Ek het my spottende man geantwoord: “Sou ek dan darem nie ’n puik opwasbak gehad het nie? Hoe dit ook al sy, ek sou seker teen hierdie tyd halfpad ’n kenner van opwasbakke gewees het.” Watter besigheid ’n man ook al bedryf, sy vrou weet uiteindelik altyd meer van daardie veld as ander vroue. As ’n man met hout werk, sou sy vrou waarskynlik boomname uit haar kop ken. ’n Onderwyser se vrou sou weer op hoogte wees van die jongste tendense in die onderwys en leerlinge se voorkeure.
Maar omdat my man ’n predikant is, gaan ons gesprekke altyd oor die gemeente, die lidmate of die Woord. As ek daaroor nadink, is dit iets om voor dankbaar te wees. As ’n lui mens soos ek nie met ’n leraar getroud was nie, sou ek my geloof ooit so toegewyd uitgeleef het soos vandag? Alles wat ek noodgedwonge sien en hoor, en al my belangstellings, wentel voortdurend om die gemeente—watter groter seën kan daar wees? Daarom bid ek meer en kom ek nader aan God.
Voor my troue was daar teenstand van my ongelowige ouers en die kerk was ver, sodat dit ’n onbereikbare droom was om aanddienste by te woon; my innige wens was bloot om naby ’n kerk te woon. Maar toe ek eers getroud is, het ek in ’n kamer reg langs die kerk se aanbiddingsaal gewoon, of selfs in die kerk se kelderverdieping; my wens is dus waarlik oorvloedig vervul. Toe ons in ’n nuutgestigte pioniersgemeente was, het ons feitlik in die kerk gewoon. Terwyl ek gehelp het met kosterwerk, kantooradministrasie en huisbesoeke, was daar skaars tyd om aan enigiets anders as kerksake te dink.
Vandag is die omstandighede heeltemal anders, maar ons is net so besig. Eendag het leraars en kerkwerkers van verskeie gemeentes bymekaargekom, en tydens die voorstelling het elkeen hul spesifieke take verduidelik. Aangesien ek geen amptelike rol in die gemeente gehad het nie, het my man gesê: “Hierdie persoon is verantwoordelik vir die senior leraar.” Almal het hartlik gelag, maar dit is werklik waar: beginnende by die ondersteuning van ’n besige man wat onvermoeid in die Here se werk arbei, is daar altyd talle klein, nederige hulptakies wat gedoen moet word, selfs al is dit nie groot prestasies nie.
Wanneer ek my man sien wat swak geslaap het, krimp my hart van deernis vir hom ineen, en bemoedig ek hom met die woorde: “Dit is alles danksy jou dat ek my geloof en lewe só kan lei, en ek is die Here so intens dankbaar dat Hy ons as lewensmaats gegee het om mekaar te ondersteun.” Ja, ek is ’n predikantsvrou—en onmiskenbaar sy werkskollega.