엊그제 아침에도 뒷산을 다녀왔습니다.며칠 동안 운동을 할 수가 없었다며 잠깐 다녀오자는 것입니다. 열일을 제쳐두고 따라 나섰습니다. 시간이 넉넉지 않아 도중에 내려왔지만 아침 운동으로는 괜찮았습니다. 남편이 내려오는 길에 널브러진 나뭇가지들을 열심히 치우면서 하는 말입니다. “나는 왜 이렇게 길 만들고 치우고 손질하는 일을 좋아할까?” 그 말을 듣는 순간 속으로는 ‘집에서는 전혀 치울 생각을 않으시면서… 정말 좋아하기는 하는 걸까?’라는 생각이 들었지만 또 남편의 허물을 들먹이는 나쁜 습관이 나올 것 같아 참았습니다. 남편은 말로는 정원 일 하기를 좋아한다고 하는데 실은 바빠서 시간내기가 쉽지 않더라고요.
그랬더니 조금 있다가 내 속 마음을 알아챘는지 뒤를 돌아보며 “아이구, 우리 집 마당 가꾸는 일은 하지도 않으면서”라며 웃었습니다. “그러게, 집 마당에도 치울 일이 많구먼, 당신은 아무래도 바깥양반이어서 그런가 봐요. 집안일은 안사람인 나한테 맡기면 되니까” 말투는 부드러웠지만 꽤 가시가 있는 말을 또 하고 말았습니다. “그래, 그럼 방 바깥, 마당일도 좀 관심을 가져보도록 하지 뭐.” 남편이 여전히 유머로 받아주어 우리는 웃고 말았지요.
아닌 게 아니라 남편은 바깥양반답게 바깥일에 온통 관심이 쏠려 있습니다. 집에 있는 시간에도 컴퓨터 앞에 앉아 심방결재를 한다든지, 문자를 보낸다든지, 말씀준비에 여념이 없습니다. 실은 그 일이 본래 자신이 해야 되는 일이고 주님께서 맡겨 주신 일이니까요. 이렇게 바쁜 남편을 보는 것도 저의 즐거움 중에 하나입니다. 가끔씩 차를 주문하기도 하고 식후에 산을 갈 때면 함께 가주는 것이 저의 중요한 일 중 하나입니다. 정말 가 준다니까요. 나는 혈당치 올라갈 염려도 없는 사람이고 산에 가는 일을 그리 좋아하지도 않으니 말입니다. 그래서 가준다고 생색을 있는 대로 다 내는 것이지요.
정말 남편이 주님께서 맡겨 주신 일을 잘 할 수 있도록 곁에서 도움이 될 수 있다면 저로서는 그만큼 감사할 데가 없습니다. 그러니 안사람인 나는 집안일을 잘 해야 하고 돕는 배필로서 돕는 일을 잘 해야 맞습니다. 그런데도 집안일에 관심이 없다고 내가 시비를 한 번 씩 걸면 안 되겠지요?
이제 봄이 되면서 집안일이 더 많아지기도 했습니다. 소나무 밑의 원추리와 담 너머에 있는 아주까리와 맥문동도 다른 곳으로 옮겨야 할 것 같습니다. 지난해에 심었는데 제 자리가 아닌 것 같거든요. 아직도 정원일은 초보라 제 자리를 잘못 잡은 것이지요. 채전과 잔디에 심심찮게 올라오는 잡초도 뽑아주어야 합니다. 마당을 돌아보면 할 일이 나의 손길을 기다리고 있습니다.
하지만 노란 개나리를 시작으로 꽃들이 피는 것이 얼마나 감사한지 모르겠습니다. 시내보다 약간 추워서 그런지 목련과 벚꽃이 이제 한참 예쁘게 피었을 뿐만 아니라 빨강 앵두나무 꽃이며 바이올렛, 무스카리와 샛노란 민들레꽃도 아름다운 빛깔을 뽐내고 있습니다. 라일락의 꽃봉오리는 며칠이 지나면 필 것 같습니다. 언제나 피려나 하고 아침마다 들여다보고 있지요. 아참! 날씨가 따뜻해지면 식사손님들도 길게 줄 서서 기다리고 있습니다. 정말 누구 말마따나 일은 끝이 안 나고 인생은 끝난다는 말이 맞는 것 같습니다. 그래도 나는 행복합니다. 일을 할 수 있다는 것은 큰 축복이니까요. 안사람으로 집안일을 더 잘 할 수 있으면 좋겠습니다.
Just a couple of mornings ago, we went up the mountain behind our house again. My husband said he hadn’t been able to exercise for several days and suggested a quick walk. Putting everything aside, I followed along. Although we had to turn back halfway because of limited time, it was a good morning workout. As he diligently cleared fallen branches strewn along the path on our way down, he remarked, “Why do I enjoy clearing, tidying, and maintaining paths like this so much?” Hearing that, I thought inwardly, ‘You never even think of tidying up at home… Do you really enjoy this kind of work?’ Still, I held my tongue, lest my bad habit of pointing out my husband's flaws resurface. He often says he loves gardening, but in truth, he is simply too busy to find the time for it.
Then, as if reading my mind a moment later, he looked back and smiled: “Oh, look at me talking, when I don't even take care of our own yard.” “Indeed, there’s plenty of tidying to be done in our yard too,” I replied. “I suppose you really are an ‘outside man’ after all. You can just leave the household affairs to me, the ‘inside woman.’” My tone was gentle, yet I had slipped in another slightly barbed remark. “Alright then, I’ll try to pay a little more attention to the outdoor chores around the yard as well,” he replied, taking it with good humor, and we both ended up laughing.
True to being an ‘outside person,’ my husband’s attention is almost entirely focused on outside matters. Even when he is at home, he spends his time before the computer, fully engrossed in reviewing pastoral visitation reports, sending text messages, and preparing sermons. In fact, that is the calling that rightfully belongs to him, the sacred work entrusted to him by the Lord. Seeing him so busily engaged is also one of my great joys. One of my important duties is occasionally serving him tea, and accompanying him on a walk up the mountain after meals whenever he asks. I truly mean it when I say I accompany him as a favor. After all, I have no worries about high blood sugar, nor am I particularly fond of climbing hills. So, I make sure to take all the credit for humoring him with a walk.
Truly, if I can stand by his side and be a help so that he can faithfully carry out the work entrusted to him by the Lord, there is nothing I could be more grateful for. Therefore, as the ‘inside woman,’ it is right for me to manage the household well and fulfill my role faithfully as a loving helper. That being the case, I shouldn't be picking small fights with him just because he shows little interest in housework, should I?
Now that spring has arrived, there are even more household chores to tend to. I will need to transplant the daylilies beneath the pine tree, as well as the castor-oil plants and lilyturf growing along the wall. I planted them last year, but they seem to be in the wrong spots. Since I am still a novice at gardening, I placed them poorly. I also need to weed the vegetable patch and the lawn where unwanted shoots keep springing up. Everywhere I look around the yard, work is waiting for my hands.
Yet, how thankful I am to see the blossoms unfold, beginning with the yellow forsythias! Perhaps because it is slightly cooler here than downtown, the magnolias and cherry blossoms are in their full splendor right now. Alongside them, the red cherry blossoms, violets, grape hyacinths, and bright yellow dandelions are showing off their lovely colors. The lilac buds look ready to burst open in just a few days. Every morning, I look closely at them, wondering when they will bloom. Ah, and as the weather warms up, a long queue of dinner guests is waiting to be welcomed! As the saying goes, it truly seems that work never ends, but life does. Even so, I am happy. To be able to work is a tremendous blessing. My hope is simply to become an even better homemaker in my role as the inside person of this home.
Nou die oggend het ons weer teen die berg agter ons huis gaan stap. My man het genoem dat hy vir 'n paar dae lank nie kon oefen nie en voorgestel dat ons 'n vinnige entjie gaan stap. Ek het alles net so laat staan en saam met hom gegaan. Weens 'n tekort aan tyd moes ons halfpad omdraai, maar dit was 'n goeie oggendstappie. Terwyl hy op pad af ywerig die afgebreekte takke langs die paadjie skoongemaak het, het hy opgemerk: “Waarom hou ek tog so baie daarvan om paadjies te maak, skoon te maak en netjies te hou?” Toe ek dit hoor, het ek by myself gedink: ‘By die huis dink jy nooit eers daaraan om iets op te ruim nie… Hou jy werklik so baie daarvan?’ Tog het ek my ingehou, bang dat my slegte gewoonte om my man se foute uit te wys, weer sou kop uitsteek. Hy sê altyd hy is lief vir tuinmaak, maar om die waarheid te sê is hy net te besig om tyd daarvoor in te ruim.
'n Oomblik later, asof hy my gedagtes kon lees, het hy omgekyk en gelag: “Ag kyk vir my, terwyl ek nie eers ons eie tuin versorg nie!” “Inderdaad, daar is ook oorgenoeg opruimwerk in ons eie tuin,” het ek geantwoord. “Jy is seker maar net 'n ‘buitemens’. Jy kan die huishoudelike take maar aan my, die ‘binnemens’, oorlaat.” Al was my stemtoon sag, was daar tog weer 'n ligte steek onder water. “Nou ja, dan moet ek seker maar ook 'n bietjie aandag aan die werf buite die vertrekke begin gee,” het hy met sy kenmerkende humorsin geantwoord, en ons het albei lekker gelag.
Soos dit 'n ware ‘buitemens’ betaam, is my man se aandag byna geheel en al op buitesake gerig. Selfs wanneer hy by die huis is, sit hy voor die rekenaar, verdiep in die goedkeuring van huisbesoekverslae, die stuur van boodskappe en die voorbereiding van preke. Eintlik is dit die werk wat hom werklik toekom en die taak wat die Here aan hom toevertrou het. Om te sien hoe besig hy is, verskaf my ook groot vreugde. Een van my belangrike take is om af en toe vir hom tee te maak, en om ná etes saam met hom teen die berg op te stap wanneer hy gaan. En ek bedoel dit wanneer ek sê ek gaan bloot om hom te vergesel! Ek hoef my immers nie oor hoë bloedsuikervlakke te bekommer nie, en ek is ook nie juis versot op bergstap nie. Daarom maak ek natuurlik seker dat hy weet watter guns ek hom daarmee bewys.
Waarlik, as ek aan sy sy kan staan en hom kan ondersteun sodat hy die werk wat die Here aan hom toevertrou het getrou kan verrig, is daar niks waarvoor ek meer dankbaar kan wees nie. As die ‘binnemens’ is dit my plig om die huishouding deeglik te behartig en my roeping as sy hulp getrou na te kom. Daarom pas dit my immers nie om elke nou en dan 'n grief van sy gebrek aan belangstelling in huiswerk te maak nie, nie waar nie?
Noudat die lente aangebreek het, is daar selfs nog meer werk in en om die huis. Ek sal die daglelies onder die denneboom, asook die kasterolieplante en leliesgras langs die muur, na 'n ander plek moet verskuif. Ek het hulle verlede jaar geplant, maar hulle lyk nie of hulle op die regte plek staan nie. Aangesien ek nog 'n beginner in die tuin is, het ek die plekke verkeerd gekies. Ek moet ook die onkruid uittrek wat aanhoudend in die groentetuintjie en op die grasperk opsteek. Waar ek ook al in die tuin kyk, wag daar werk op my hande.
Maar hoe dankbaar is ek tog om te sien hoe die blomme oopgaan, beginnende by die geel forsythias! Miskien omdat dit hier effens koeler as in die middestad is, staan die magnolias en kersiebloeisels nou op hul allermooiste. Daarby spog die rooi kersiebloeisels, viooltjies, druifhiasinte en heldergeel perdeblomme met hul pragtige kleure. Die sering se bloeiknoppe lyk of hulle binne 'n paar dae gaan oopbreek. Ek kyk elke oggend stip daarna en wonder wanneer hulle tog sal blom. O ja! Sodra die weer warmer word, staan daar boonop 'n lang ry etensgaste en wag. Soos die spreekwoord tereg sê, dit voel waarlik of die werk nooit ophou nie, maar die lewe wel tot 'n einde kom. Tog is ek gelukkig. Om te kan werk, is 'n geweldige seëning. My bede is dat ek my rol as ‘binnemens’ en versorger van ons huis met nog groter toewyding mag vervul.