어느덧 2013년이 지나가고 2014년 새해가 되었습니다.작년 이맘 때 새해가 되었다고, 새로운 마음으로 시작해 보겠다고 마음을 먹은 지가 엊그제 같은데 빨리도 지나갔습니다. 무얼 별로 해놓은 것도 없는 것 같은데 말입니다. 아! 아들 장가를 보냈네요. 물론 제가 한 게 아니라 주님께서 은혜로 베풀어주신 것입니다. 그리고 몇 번의 기회를 통해 새로 태어나는 영혼들을 보았던 것이 저에게 는 참 가슴 벅찬 기쁨이었습니다. 주일에 교회에서 그 분들을 볼 때마다 자비로우신 주님의 미소를 보는 것 같습니다.
그리고 어머님이 아예 저희 집으로 오신 것도 지난 한 해 동안 달라진 일입니다. 그동안에는 일 년에 서너 달 정도 계셨습니다. 고향 마을과 고향 교회가 좋다고 명절과 추운 겨울을 빼고는 고향에 사셨는데 연세가 아흔셋이 되니 이젠 혼자 밥 끓여 드실 연세가 아니지요. 결국 연초에 좀 많이 편찮으시고는 아예 큰 아들 집으로 오신 것입니다. 그리고는 아주 편안해 하셔서 좋습니다. 잘 돌봐드려야 하는데 잘해드리지 못해 죄송할 따름입니다.
작년에 결혼한 그 둘째네가 신정에 내려오겠다고 연락이 왔습니다. 그 소식을 들은 후부터 어머님께서는 신정이 되려면 멀었는데, 매일처럼 기다리십니다. 아침에 일어나시면 “오늘 가들 오나?”라고 하십니다. “어머님, 아직 3주는 기다려야 하는데요.”라고 말씀드리지만 다음 날 또 물어보십니다. “가들 내일 오나?” 아마도 무척 보고 싶으신가봅니다. 그럭저럭 성탄절도 지나고 12월 마지막 날 아이들이 왔습니다.
구정에는 길도 막히고 하니 신정에 다녀가는 걸로 하라 했더니 며느리는 어차피 학교가 방학이니 괜찮고 아들도 어렵게 며칠 휴가를 내었습니다. 아마도 사랑의 언어가 ‘선물’인 며느리 덕분에 올 때는 작은 것이라도 무언가 선물을 들고 찾아오는 것이 둘째 네를 통해서 우리도 배웁니다. 마침 도착한 다음날이 1월 1일이어서 이번에는 함께 신정예배도 참석할 수 있었습니다. 울산에서 제일 큰 우정교회를 빌려 온 성도들이 함께 11시 예배를 드리는 현장에 우리 자녀들도 참석해서 참 뿌듯하고 좋았습니다.
둘이서 열심히 설거지를 도와주고 아침이면 나란히 나와서 “어머님 안녕히 주무셨어요.”라고 인사하는 모습이 참 예뻤습니다. 어머님뿐만 아니라 저도 아이들이 함께 있으니까 좋았습니다. 하나님께서 ‘심히 좋았더라.’고 말씀하셨던 마음을 조금은 알 것 같았습니다. 정자 쪽으로 가서 바다 구경도 하고 바쁜 가운데 좋은 시간을 보낼 수 있었습니다. 한 세대가 가고 또 한 세대가 새로 태어나는 시간 속에서 하나님께서 우리에게 복을 주셨다는 생각이 듭니다. “생육하고 번성하여 땅에 충만 하라.” 하시고 ‘다스리라’ 하신 말씀 말입니다. 뿐만 아니라 하나님께서 먼저 우리를 사랑하시고 또 사랑받은 사람들이 서로를 사랑할 수 있도록 하셨다는 사실이 얼마나 감격스럽고 아름다운지요.
아이들은 주일 예배까지 드리고 서울로 올라갔고, 월요일에는 형님 내외분과 형님 친구이신 사모님이 오셨습니다. 늘 심심해하시는 어머님을 만나보기 위해서입니다. 어머님과 홀로되신 사모님은 수년 전에 한 교회에서 함께 기도하며 섬겼고 어머님이 딸처럼 좋아하시고 보고 싶다고 하시며 자주 연락을 하시지요. 물론 사모님 역시 어머님을 자신의 어머님처럼 잘 섬기십니다.
오시면 두 분이서 하루 종일 도란도란 얘기를 하십니다. 새벽 일찍 잠이 깨어서도 얘기를 하시고 밤중에도 얘기를 하십니다. 무슨 할 말이 그리 많을까 싶습니다. 어머님이 하셨던 이야기를 몇 번이고 하시니 사모님이 거의 외우고 계시지만 처음 듣는 것처럼 잘 들어주십니다. 참 보기가 좋습니다. 어머님이 좋아하시니 저도 기쁘지요. 우리에게 서로 의지하고 좋아하고 사랑하는 가족과 이웃을 허락하신 하나님께 감사하고 복의 근원으로 살아가기를 소원합니다.
Before we knew it, 2013 has slipped away and the New Year of 2014 has dawned. It feels like just yesterday that I resolved to make a fresh start at this time last year, yet time has flown by so quickly. It seems as though I haven't accomplished much. Ah, but we saw our son get married! Of course, that was not something I accomplished, but a gift bestowed by the grace of the Lord. Moreover, having had several opportunities to witness souls being reborn was a profoundly overwhelming joy for me. Whenever I see them at church on Sundays, I feel as though I am looking upon the gracious, benevolent smile of the Lord.
Another significant change over the past year is that Mother moved into our home for good. Previously, she would stay with us for about three or four months out of the year. Loving her hometown village and her home church, she lived there except during the holidays and the bitter cold of winter. But having reached the age of ninety-three, she was no longer at an age where she could cook her own meals. In the end, after falling quite ill at the beginning of the year, she moved permanently into her eldest son's home. She has been very comfortable here, which brings great relief. I ought to look after her far better, and I feel nothing but regret for falling short.
Our second son's family, who were married last year, sent word that they would come down for New Year's Day. From the moment Mother heard the news, even though New Year's Day was still a long way off, she waited for them every single day. Waking up in the morning, she would ask, "Are they coming today?" I would reply, "Mother, we still have to wait three more weeks," but the very next day she would ask again, "Are they coming tomorrow?" She must have missed them dearly. Somehow Christmas passed, and on the final day of December, the children arrived.
Since the roads are always congested during Lunar New Year, we suggested they visit over the solar New Year instead. My daughter-in-law was already on school vacation, and my son managed, with some effort, to take a few days of leave. Thanks to my daughter-in-law, whose love language seems to be "gifts," they always bring something along when they visit, no matter how small, and we find ourselves learning from their thoughtful habit. Since the day after their arrival happened to be January 1st, we were able to attend the New Year's Day service together this time. Our whole congregation gathered to worship at 11:00 AM, renting Woojung Church—the largest church in Ulsan—and it brought such warmth and pride to my heart to have our children worshiping there beside us.
It was truly heartwarming to see the two of them eagerly helping with the dishes, and coming out side by side in the morning to greet her with, "Good morning, Mother, did you sleep well?" Not only Mother, but I, too, was overjoyed simply having the children around. I felt I could understand, if only a little, the heart of God when He looked upon His creation and said, "It was very good." We drove toward Jeongja to gaze at the sea and enjoyed a wonderful time together despite our busy schedules. Amidst the steady flow of time where one generation passes and a new generation is born, I am reminded of how richly God has blessed us—fulfilling His word: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it." How deeply moving and beautiful it is that God loved us first, enabling those who have received His love to love one another in return.
The children stayed through Sunday service before heading back up to Seoul, and on Monday, my elder brother and his wife, along with a pastor's wife who is a friend of his, came over to visit. They came to spend time with Mother, who often feels lonely. Years ago, Mother and this pastor's wife—who is now widowed—served and prayed together in the same church; Mother is as fond of her as if she were her own daughter, often saying how much she misses her and keeping in frequent touch. And, of course, the pastor's wife cares for Mother with the same devotion she would show to her own mother.
Whenever she visits, the two of them sit together all day long, whispering and chatting away. They talk after waking up early at dawn, and they continue their conversation late into the night. One might wonder what on earth they could have so much to talk about. Even though Mother repeats the same stories over and over until the pastor's wife practically knows them by heart, she listens attentively as if hearing them for the very first time. It is such a delightful sight to behold. Seeing Mother so happy brings immense joy to my heart as well. I give thanks to God, who has blessed us with family and neighbors whom we can lean on, cherish, and love, and I pray that we may live our lives as a source of blessing to others.
Sonder dat ons dit besef het, het 2013 verbygeglip en het die Nuwejaar van 2014 aangebreek. Dit voel soos gister toe ek verlede jaar hierdie tyd besluit het om met nuwe moed te begin, tog het die tyd so vinnig verbygesnel. Dit voel asof ek min vermag het. A, maar ons het ons seun in die huwelik laat tree! Natuurlik was dit nie my eie prestasie nie, maar 'n genadegawe wat die Here ons geskenk het. Boonop was dit vir my 'n oorstelpende vreugde om by verskeie geleenthede te kon aanskou hoe siele nuut gebore word. Elke keer as ek hulle Sondae in die kerk sien, voel dit asof ek die barmhartige glimlag van die Here aanskou.
Nog 'n verandering die afgelope jaar is dat Moeder permanent by ons kom woon het. Voorheen het sy gewoonlik net so drie of vier maande van die jaar by ons gebly. Omdat sy so lief was vir haar tuisdorpie en haar tuisgemeente, het sy daar gewoon behalwe gedurende die vakansiedae en die ysige wintermaande. Maar noudat sy drie-en-negentig geword het, is sy nie meer op 'n ouderdom waar sy self haar eie etes kan kook nie. Uiteindelik, nadat sy aan die begin van die jaar erg siek geword het, het sy permanent by haar oudste seun se huis kom intrek. Sy voel baie tuis en rustig hier, wat vir ons 'n groot verligting is. 'n Mens behoort soveel beter na haar om te sien, en ek voel maar net jammer dat ek daarin te kort skiet.
Ons tweede seun se gesin, wat verlede jaar getroud is, het laat weet dat hulle vir Nuwejaarsdag sou deurreis. Vandat sy die nuus gehoor het, het Moeder elke liewe dag op hulle gewag, al was Nuwejaarsdag nog lank nie daar nie. Wanneer sy soggens opstaan, vra sy: "Kom daardie kinders vandag?" Ek antwoord dan: "Moeder, ons moet nog drie weke wag," maar die volgende dag vra sy weer: "Kom hulle môre?" Sy het hulle sekerlik vreeslik gemis. Kersfees het stelselmatig verbygegaan, en op die laaste dag van Desember het die kinders opgedaag.
Aangesien die paaie altyd so besig is met die Maannuwejaar, het ons voorgestel dat hulle liewer oor die kalendernuwejaar kuier. My skoondogter het in elk geval skoolvakansie gehad, en my seun kon met moeite 'n paar dae verlof reël. Danksy my skoondogter, wie se liefdestaal blykbaar 'geskenke' is, bring hulle altyd iets kleins saam wanneer hulle kom kuier, en ons leer selfs by hierdie tweede gesin van ons. Aangesien die dag ná hul aankoms toevallig 1 Januarie was, kon ons hierdie keer ook saam die Nuwejaarsdiens bywoon. Ons hele gemeente het om 11:00 saam aanbid deur Woojung Kerk—die grootste kerk in Ulsan—te huur, en dit het my hart met trots en dankbaarheid gevul om ons kinders daar saam met ons in die diens te hê.
Dit was werklik pragtig om te sien hoe die twee ywerig hand bygesit het met die skottelgoed en soggens sy aan sy uitstap om te groet: "Goeiemôre, Moeder, het u goed geslaap?" Nie net Moeder nie, maar ek was ook net so bly om die kinders by ons te hê. Dit het gevoel asof ek 'n klein bietjie kon begryp van die hart van God toe Hy gesê het dat dit 'baie goed' was. Ons het Jeongja se kant toe gery om na die see te kyk en kon te midde van die besige dae wonderlike tye saam geniet. In die verloop van tyd waar een geslag gaan en 'n nuwe geslag gebore word, besef ek weer hoe ryklik God ons geseën het—deur Sy woord: "Wees vrugbaar en vermeerder en vul die aarde en onderwerp dit." Hoe diep roerend en mooi is dit nie dat God ons eerste liefgehad het, en dat diegene wat Sy liefde ontvang het, mekaar op hul beurt kan liefhê nie.
Die kinders het tot na die Sondagdiens gebly voor hulle terug is Seoel toe, en Maandag het my oudste broer en sy vrou, saam met 'n domineesvrou wat 'n vriendin van hom is, kom kuier. Hulle het kom inloer om Moeder te sien, wat dikwels eensaam voel. Jare gelede het Moeder en hierdie predikantsvrou—wat nou 'n weduwee is—saam in dieselfde gemeente gebid en gedien; Moeder is so lief vir haar soos vir 'n eie dogter, sê dikwels hoe sy haar mis en gesels gereeld oor die foon. En natuurlik sien die predikantsvrou net so getrou na Moeder om asof sy haar eie moeder is.
Wanneer sy kom, sit die twee heeldag lank gesellig en gesels. Hulle praat vandat hulle douvoordag wakker word tot diep in die nag. 'n Mens wonder wat daar tog so baie is om te sê. Al herhaal Moeder dieselfde stories oor en oor totdat die predikantsvrou dit feitlik uit haar kop ken, luister sy aandagtig daarna asof sy dit vir die heel eerste keer hoor. Dit is werklik 'n genot om te aanskou. As Moeder gelukkig is, is ek natuurlik ook bly. Ek dank God wat ons geseën het met familie en bure op wie ons kan steun, wat ons waardeer en liefhet, en ek bid dat ons as 'n bron van seën vir ander sal lewe.