아마 십년이 훨씬 지난 일입니다. 뷔페음식점에서 생굴을 먹고는, 싱싱하지 못했는지 심하게 배탈이 난 적이 있습니다. 그래서 그 뒤로는 먹기만 하면 같은 현상이 벌어져서 아예 굴을 쳐다보지도 않다가 5년 전쯤에 익힌 굴을 조금 먹어보고 무사히 통과를 했기에, 또 2, 3년 전에는 굴젓이 들어간 깍두기를 먹었는데, 정확히 말하면 깍두기에 들어간 굴젓을 먹고도 안전했기에, 드디어 지난 주간에는 생굴 두 점을 시도했는데 결과는 비참했습니다. 몸은 생굴에 대한 정보를 기억을 하고 있었고, 지사제와 정로환의 도움으로 겨우 구출을 받았습니다.
사실 제 고향은 남해이고 어릴 적부터 바다는 제 고향의 일부입니다. 찬바람이 부는 겨울 바닷가에서 바위에 붙어있는 굴을 보면 뽀족한 돌맹이를 주워 가지고 굴을 까먹는 것은 어린 시절의 일상사였습니다. 그런데 이제 삶은 굴은 조심해서 조금, 굴젓도 조심조심 맛보는 처지에다가, 생굴은 입에 넣지도 못하는 자신의 모습이 너무 싫어서 십년도 넘은 사건이니, 이제는 트라우마가 사라졌을 것으로 기대하며 먹었던 것이 집회 중 사고를 치고 만 것입니다. 생굴을 먹지도 못하는 사람이 고향을 남해라고 말하기가 스스로 부끄러워서 극복을 하려 시도했지만 몸이 기억하는 정보는 무서웠습니다.
몸이 기억하고 있는 정보뿐 아니라 몸이 기억해버린 습관도 무섭긴 마찬가지입니다. 며칠 전 페이스북에 실린 아들의 글입니다. “요즘은 버스만 타면 졸린다. 그 전날 꽤 일찍 잤는데도 말이다. 어제 재영이랑 목욕을 하고 나오는데 옷 입혀달라고 “엄마만”을 외치는 재영이처럼 ‘몸이 기억해’버린 습관 참 무섭다.” 그래서 답을 했습니다. “사랑하는 아들아! 그걸 보고 수면부족이라고 판단하는 어리석은 자가 되지말라^^ 그 현상은 운동부족이란다. 수많은 임상실험을 해본 아빠의 충고란다! 동생 은수의 몸매를 부러워말고 오늘부터 운동을 시작하라! 부디!”
여러분이 아시는 대로 아름다운 신앙의 전승을 위해서 우린 요즈음 “신앙교육, 가정에서부터”란 표어로 온 교회적으로 힘을 합하고 있습니다. 문지방이나 문설주에도, 오른 손목에도 매어서 기억하도록 하던 이스라엘의 전통을 본받아 차에도 매달고, 급기야 스마트폰까지 전자파 차단용 금장으로 된 “신앙교육, 가정에서부터”란 딱지를 붙이고, 전화를 걸때마다 짧게라도 기도하자고 독려를 하는데, 불티나듯 딱지가 나가는 바람에 아이디어를 내었던 교역자들이 흥분하고 있습니다. 그러나 금딱지를 휴대폰에 붙이는 것과 전화를 걸기 전에 기도하는 것은 별개라는 것을 우리는 알아야 합니다. 담임 목사인 나도 동참하려고 마음은 먹었지만 쉽게 한 번도 되질 않고 있습니다. 몸이 기억해버린 습성을 고치는 것은 결코 쉬운 일이 아닙니다. 나쁜 습관은 쉽게 들어도 좋은 습관을 갖는 것은 은혜가 있어야 하고 반복적인 연습이 있어야 하기 때문입니다.
It happened well over a decade ago. After eating raw oysters at a buffet restaurant—perhaps because they were not fresh—I suffered a terrible stomach upset. From that point on, the very same reaction would occur whenever I ate oysters, so I avoided looking at them altogether. Then, about five years ago, I gingerly tried a little cooked oyster and passed through safely. Two or three years ago, I ate diced radish kimchi that had salted oyster seasoning in it—more precisely, I ate the salted oyster seasoned inside the radish kimchi—and experienced no ill effects. Finally, last week, I ventured to try two pieces of raw oyster. The result was disastrous. My body remembered the information about raw oysters with startling clarity, and I was only barely rescued through the help of antidiarrheal medicine and Jeongrowan pills.
In truth, my hometown is Namhae, and from my earliest days, the sea was an inseparable part of my youth. In the winter by the cold, wind-swept seaside, seeing oysters clinging to the rocks and picking up a sharp pebble to crack them open and eat them on the spot was the most ordinary daily routine of my childhood. Yet here I was, reduced to timidly tasting cooked oysters in tiny amounts, tiptoeing around salted oysters, and unable even to put a raw oyster into my mouth. Disliking this about myself, and assuming that after more than ten years the trauma would have faded, I ate them—only to cause a major disruption right in the middle of a church conference. Feeling ashamed of claiming Namhae as my hometown when I could not even eat raw oysters, I attempted to overcome it, but the information ingrained in the body proved terrifyingly formidable.
Just like the information our body remembers, the habits ingrained in our physical bodies are equally formidable. A few days ago, my son posted on Facebook: “These days, I get drowsy the moment I board the bus, even when I went to bed quite early the night before. Just like Jaeyoung, who stepped out of the bath with me yesterday and cried out only for ‘Mommy!’ to get him dressed, habits that the ‘body remembers’ are truly frightening.” So I replied to him: “My beloved son! Do not be foolish and attribute that to a lack of sleep^^ That phenomenon is a lack of exercise. This is advice from your father, who has conducted countless clinical trials! Stop envying your younger brother Unsoo’s physique and start exercising today! Please!”
As you well know, for the sake of passing down our precious faith, our entire church community is currently uniting under the motto “Faith Education, Beginning at Home.” Following the ancient tradition of Israel—binding the commandments on doorposts, lintels, and right wrists as perpetual reminders—our members have hung small banners in cars, and eventually attached gold-plated electromagnetic-wave-blocking stickers inscribed with “Faith Education, Beginning at Home” onto their smartphones. We encourage everyone to pray, even briefly, every time they place a phone call. Because these stickers have been flying off the tables like hotcakes, the pastors who devised the idea are quite thrilled. Yet we must recognize that sticking a gold sticker on a mobile phone and actually praying before making a call are two entirely different matters. Even as the senior pastor, though I firmly resolved to join in, I have not managed to do it smoothly even once. Correcting a habit that the body has already memorized is by no means an easy task. Bad habits settle in effortlessly, but forming good habits requires grace alongside relentless, repeated practice.
Dit het sekerlik al meer as tien jaar gelede gebeur. Nadat ek rou oesters by 'n buffetrestaurant geëet het—dalk was hulle nie heeltemal vars nie—het ek vreeslik maagpyn en omgekrapte spysvertering gekry. Sedertdien het presies dieselfde verskynsel hom herhaal elke keer as ek dit geëet het, sodat ek oesters glad nie eers meer wou aanskou nie. Ongeveer vyf jaar gelede het ek egter 'n klein bietjie gaar oester probeer en sonder probleme daardeur gekom. Twee of drie jaar gelede het ek blokkiesradytsji-kimchi met gesoute oester geëet—om presies te wees, selfs die gesoute oesterstukke binne-in die kimchi veilig verorber. Uiteindelik het ek verlede week twee stukkies rou oester aangedurf, en die gevolg was rampspoedig. My liggaam het die inligting oor rou oesters haarfyn onthou, en ek is ternouer nood gered met behulp van diarree-medikasie en Jeongrowan-pille.
Om die waarheid te sê, my tuisdorp is Namhae, en van kleins af was die see 'n onlosmaaklike deel van my grootwordjare. Aan die koue, winderige winterstrand, wanneer 'n mens die oesters aan die rotse sien vasklou het, was dit die mees alledaagse kindertydgewoonte om 'n skerp klippie op te tel, die skulp oop te breek en dit dadelik te geniet. Maar noudat ek in 'n toestand beland het waar ek gekookte oesters net versigtig in klein porsies kan eet, versigtig aan gesoute oesters proe, en rou oesters glad nie eens in my mond kan steek nie, was ek so teleurgesteld in myself dat ek gedink het die trauma na meer as tien jaar sekerlik sou verdwyn het. Ek het dit toe geëet—net om reg in die middel van 'n kerklike konferensie in die moeilikheid te beland. Omdat ek myself skaam het om te sê my tuisdorp is Namhae terwyl ek nie eens rou oesters kan eet nie, het ek probeer om dit te bowe te kom, maar die inligting wat die liggaam onthou, was onoorkomelik en vreesaanjaend.
Net soos die inligting wat ons liggaam bewaar, is die gewoontes wat die liggaam aanleer ewe onverbiddelik. 'n Paar dae gelede het my seun op Facebook geskryf: “Deesdae raak ek vaak sodra ek op die bus klim, selfs al het ek die vorige aand redelik vroeg gaan slaap. Net soos Jaeyoung, wat gister saam met my uit die bad gekom het en net na ‘Mamma!’ bly roep het om hom aan te trek, is gewoontes wat die ‘liggaam onthou’ werklik angswekkend.” Daarop het ek hom geantwoord: “Liewe seun! Moenie dwaas wees en dink dit is 'n slaaptekort nie^^ Daardie verskynsel is 'n gebrek aan oefening. Dit is die wyse raad van jou pa, wat al ontelbare kliniese toetse op homself gedoen het! Moenie jou jonger broer Unsoo se liggaamsbou beny nie, maar begin vandag nog oefen! Asseblief!”
Soos julle weet, verenig ons hele gemeente deesdae ons kragte onder die leuse “Geloofsonderrig, Begin By die Huis” ter wille van 'n kosbare oordrag van die geloof. In navolging van Israel se ou tradisie om die gebooie op deurposte, balke en regterpolsbande vas te bind om dit te onthou, hang ons dit in motors op, en het selfs goue plakkertjies wat elektromagnetiese golwe afweer, met die woorde “Geloofsonderrig, Begin By die Huis”, op slimfone aangebring. Ons moedig mekaar aan om elke keer voor 'n oproep 'n kort gebed te doen. Omdat hierdie plakkers soos soetkoek verkoop, is die leraars wat met die idee vorendag gekom het, baie opgewonde. Ons moet egter besef dat om 'n goue plakker op 'n selfoon te plak en om werklik te bid voordat jy 'n nommer skakel, twee heeltemal verskillende dinge is. Selfs ek as die senior leraar het my dit vas voorgeneem, maar ek kry dit nie eers een enkele keer maklik reg nie. Om 'n gewoonte af te leer wat die liggaam reeds ingeëts het, is allermins 'n maklike taak. Slegte gewoontes sluip immers vanself in, maar om goeie gewoontes aan te kweek, vereis genade en volgehoue, herhaalde oefening.