올해 연세가 구십이신 권사님께서 소천하셨다는 소식을 들었습니다.얼마 전부터 식사도 잘 못하시고 기력이 많이 쇠해지셔서 요양병원 중환자실에 계셨습니다. 그래도 정신은 맑아서 사람들도 알아보셨는데 결국 힘이 다 소진해 평안한 가운데 돌아가셨습니다. 제가 찾아뵙지 못한 것이 영 죄송했습니다. 늘 조용하시고 말씀도 별로 없으신 분이시지만 평생을 기도로 사신 분입니다. 젊은 날에 남편을 잃고 혼자 사셨지만 그래도 자손들이 믿음생활을 잘 하고 끔찍이도 사랑하던 손주는 목사님이 되셨지요. 최근에는 며느리 권사님과 두 분이 서로 사랑하며 함께 사시는 모습도 뵙기가 좋았습니다. 한 때 저와 같은 아파트에 살기도 해서 주일에 교회에서 만나면 남달리 반가워 하셨는데 이제 더 이상 뵐 수가 없으니 섭섭한 마음입니다.
얼마 전에도 교회 가까이에 계시던 은퇴 장로님께서 갑자기 천국에 가시는 바람에 놀라기도, 섭섭하기도 했습니다. 교회에서 권사님과 함께 두 분이 계신 것만 봐도 좋았는데 말입니다. 권사님 말씀이 “좋은 친구였는데 그리 갑자기 떠나셨다.”며 안타까워 하셨습니다. 그래도 우리는 또 한 날 천국에서 함께 만날 것을 기약할 수 있으니 하나님의 크신 위로가 함께 하시기를 빕니다. 한 교회에서 만나 함께 신앙생활을 하시던 분들이 그래저래 한 분씩 천국으로 가시니 이제는 천국이 훨씬 가깝게 느껴지기도 합니다.
작년까지만 해도 주일에 한 번씩 반찬을 준비해 주시던 이 권사님 생각도 납니다. 그리 넉넉지 않은 살림을 사셨지만 사람들을 대할 때는 참 넉넉하신 분이셨습니다. 주방에서 봉사를 하시면서 궂은일을 전혀 생색내지 않고 묵묵히 감당하실 뿐만 아니라 사람들이 보던, 보지 않던 교회에 널브러진 쓰레기들을 도맡아 치우기도 하셨습니다. 주일에는 한 번씩 맛있는 음식이 있으면 꼭 챙겨주셨지요.
그러다가 작년 연말에 간암이 발견되어 투병하시다가 올 2월에 천국으로 가셨습니다. 그리 나이도 많지 않았는데 말입니다. 이 권사님이 천국 가시고 나니다른권사님들이 이제는 매주 반찬을 챙겨주십니다. 얼마나 감사한지요. 그러고 보니 가까이 계시던 윤 장로님 생각도 납니다. 한 번씩 교회에서 만나면 반가워 하시던 모습이 눈에 선한데 역시 암으로 투병하시다가 올 유월에 천국에 가셨습니다. 이제는 그 아이같이 즐거워하시던 모습을 이 세상에서는 더 이상 뵐 수가 없고 그 자상하신 목소리도 더 이상 들을 수가 없으니 참 섭섭하기도 합니다.
참, 그러고 보니 주일 예배에 한동안 참석하지 못하고 계시는 권사님들도 계십니다. 다치신 분도 계시고 이제는 연세가 많으셔서 힘이 없어 아예 교회를 못오시는 분도 계십니다. 그렇게 가까이 계시던 분들이 한 분씩 천국으로 가시면서 한 세대가 가고 또 새로운 한 세대가 오는 것 같습니다. 예쁜 아기들이 태어나는가 하면 곁에 계시던 분들이 천국으로 가시기도 하니까요. 올 해만 해도 저희 사모 구역에서는 여섯 명의 아기들이 태어났습니다. 금요모임에서는 아기들이 많아 정신이 하나도 없는 가운데서도 모임은 잘 하고 있습니다.
그런데 문제는 가시는 분들이 남겨두신 믿음의 유산이 그대로 전수되어 가면서 하나님의 언약의 백성이 잘 이어져 가고 있는가 입니다. 저희 교회에서도 ‘신앙교육 가정에서부터’라는 슬로건을 내걸고 열심히 하고 있지만 오죽했으면 이런 슬로건을 내 걸어야 했겠습니까? 우리 부모님 세대에서는 핍박과 반대를 무릅쓰고 믿음을 지켜왔는데 교회를 위해 그렇게도 헌신적으로 살아오셨는데 세월이 가면서 그 믿음을 지켜내기가 쉽지 않습니다.
가난하고 힘들어도 믿음을 지키며 사셨던 세대가 서서히 사라지면서 이 땅의 교회는 오히려 세상으로부터 지탄받는 대상이 되어버렸습니다. 이사야가 부르짖었던 말씀이 생각나는 아침입니다. “주여 하늘에서 굽어 살피시며 주의 거룩하시고 영화로운 처소에서 보옵소서. 원하건대 주는 하늘을 가르고 강림하소서.” 이제는 천국에서 우리의 모습을 지켜보고 계실 사랑하는 장로님, 권사님 뵙고 싶습니다.
I received the news that a senior deaconess, who was ninety years old this year, has been called home to heaven. For some time, she had struggled to eat and grew quite frail, eventually being admitted to the intensive care unit of a nursing hospital. Yet her mind had remained clear and she still recognized people, but having completely exhausted her strength, she passed away in deep peace. I felt terribly sorry that I had not been able to visit her before she departed. She was always quiet and of few words, yet she was someone who spent her entire life in prayer. Having lost her husband in her youth, she lived on her own, yet her descendants walked faithfully in the Lord, and her grandson, whom she loved so dearly, became a pastor. Recently, it was such a joy to see her living warmly together with her daughter-in-law, who is also a deaconess, caring for one another. At one time, we lived in the same apartment complex, and whenever we met at church on Sundays, she welcomed me with special warmth. My heart feels truly hollow knowing I can no longer see her here.
Not long ago, a retired elder who lived near the church also went suddenly to heaven, leaving us both shocked and saddened. Just seeing him standing side by side with his wife, a deaconess, at church was a delight. With a heavy heart, the deaconess remarked, “He was such a good friend, yet he left so suddenly.” Still, because we hold the sure promise of meeting again one day in heaven, I pray that God’s abundant comfort will embrace her. As one by one, those who met in one local church and shared a life of faith together journey on to heaven, eternity somehow feels much closer now.
I am also reminded of Deaconess Lee, who until last year would prepare side dishes for us every Sunday. Though she lived in modest circumstances, she was profoundly generous in heart toward others. Serving faithfully in the church kitchen, she quietly shouldered the hard and unseen tasks without ever seeking recognition, and whether anyone was watching or not, she would diligently pick up the scattered trash around the church. On Sundays, whenever there was something delicious, she always made sure to share it.
Then, toward the end of last year, liver cancer was discovered, and after battling the illness, she departed for heaven this past February. She was not even that old. Since Deaconess Lee went to heaven, other deaconesses have been preparing side dishes for us each week. How truly grateful I am! Thinking of her brings to mind Elder Yoon as well, who also lived nearby. I can still vividly picture how delighted he was whenever we crossed paths at church; yet he, too, battled cancer and was called to heaven this past June. My heart aches knowing that I can no longer see that child-like joy of his in this world, nor hear his gentle, caring voice anymore.
Come to think of it, there are also deaconesses who have been unable to attend Sunday worship for quite some time. Some have suffered injuries, while others have grown so frail with old age that they cannot manage to come to church at all. As these precious individuals who were so close to us depart for heaven one by one, it feels as though one generation is passing away and another is arriving. Even as dear ones depart for heaven, lovely new babies are being born. In this year alone, six babies were born into our pastors' wives' fellowship. During our Friday gatherings, amidst the lively chaos of having so many infants around, our fellowship continues faithfully and well.
Yet the pressing question is whether the heritage of faith left behind by those who have departed is being truly passed down, so that the covenant people of God may continue firmly from generation to generation. In our church, too, we strive with all our might under the banner of "Faith Education Begins in the Home," but how urgent must the need be for us to have to raise such a slogan? Our parents’ generation held firmly to the faith amidst persecution and opposition, living with selfless devotion for the church; yet as the years roll on, preserving that steadfast faith is no easy task.
As the generation that kept the faith despite poverty and hardship gradually fades away, the church in this land has instead become an object of reproach in the eyes of the world. On this morning, the earnest cry of Isaiah comes to mind: “Look down from heaven and see, from your holy and beautiful habitation. Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!” To our beloved elders and deaconesses, who are now watching over us from heaven—how deeply I long to see you again.
Ek het die nuus verneem dat 'n senior diakones, wat vanjaar negentig jaar oud was, deur die Here huis toe geroep is. 'n Tydjie gelede het sy al gesukkel om te eet en haar kragte het baie begin afneem, sodat sy uiteindelik in die intensiewesorgeenheid van 'n versorgingshospitaal opgeneem is. Haar verstand was nog helder en sy het mense steeds herken, maar toe haar liggaamskragte heeltemal uitgeput was, het sy in volkome vrede ontslaap. Dit het my innig berou dat ek haar nie voor haar heengaan kon besoek nie. Sy was altyd stil en het min gepraat, maar sy was iemand wat haar lewe lank in gebed deurgebring het. Nadat sy haar man in haar jonger dae verloor het, het sy alleen gewoon, maar haar nageslag het getrou in die geloof gewandel, en die kleinseun wat sy so innig liefgehad het, het 'n predikant geword. Onlangs was dit nog 'n vreugde om te sien hoe sy en haar skoondogter, ook 'n diakones, in wedersydse liefde saam gewoon het. Op 'n tyd het ons in dieselfde woonstelkompleks gewoon, en wanneer ons mekaar op Sondae by die kerk ontmoet het, was sy altyd besonder hartlik. My gemoed is swaar noudat ek haar nie meer hier kan sien nie.
Onlangs is 'n afgetrede ouderling wat naby die kerk gewoon het, ook skielik hemel toe, wat ons sowel geskok as diep hartseer gelaat het. Dit was altyd 'n riem onder die hart om hom en sy vrou, die diakones, saam by die kerk te sien. Met weemoed het sy opgemerk: “Hy was so 'n goeie vriend, en tog het hy so skielik vertrek.” Nietemin mag ons vashou aan die belofte dat ons mekaar eendag weer in die hemel sal ontmoet; mag die Here se groot troos daarom ryklik met haar wees. Namate gelowiges wat in dieselfde plaaslike gemeente saam die Here gedien het, een vir een na die hemel vertrek, voel die ewigheid vir 'n mens nou baie nader.
Ek dink ook aan Diakones Lee, wat tot verlede jaar nog elke Sondag vir ons bykosse voorberei het. Al het sy in baie beskeie omstandighede gelewe, was sy besonder ruimhartig teenoor mense. Terwyl sy in die kerkkombuis gedien het, het sy die vuil en swaar werk stilweg verrig sonder om ooit erkenning te soek, en hetsy mense gekyk het of nie, het sy getrou die rommel opgetel wat rondom die kerk rondgelê het. Op Sondae, wanneer daar iets lekkers was, het sy altyd seker gemaak om dit met ons te deel.
Toe, teen die einde van verlede jaar, is lewerkanker by haar gediagnoseer, en ná 'n dapper stryd teen die siekte is sy verlede Februarie hemel toe. Sy was nie eers so oud nie. Vandat Diakones Lee hemel toe is, sorg ander diakonesse nou elke week vir ons bykosse. Hoe dankbaar is 'n mens nie daarvoor nie! As ek aan haar dink, onthou ek ook Ouderling Yoon, wat ook naby gewoon het. Ek kan nog helder voor my sien hoe bly hy was wanneer ons mekaar by die kerk raakgeloop het; tog het ook hy teen kanker gestry en is hy verlede Junie hemel toe geroep. My hart krimp ineen om te dink dat ek daardie kinderlike vreugde van hom nie meer in hierdie lewe kan sien nie, en sy vriendelike, deernisvolle stem nie meer kan hoor nie.
Nou dat ek daaraan dink, is daar ook diakonesse wat al 'n geruime tyd nie die Sondag-erediens kan bywoon nie. Party het beserings opgedoen, en ander het weens hul hoë ouderdom so swak geword dat hulle glad nie meer kerk toe kan kom nie. Namate hierdie kosbare mense wat so naby aan ons was, een vir een hemel toe gaan, voel dit asof een geslag heengaan en 'n nuwe geslag opstaan. Pragtige babas word gebore, terwyl dierbares langs ons hemel toe vertrek. Vanjaar alleen is daar ses babas in ons predikantsvroue se wykskring gebore. Tydens ons Vrydagaand-byeenkomste gaan die samekoms wonderlik voort, al is dit soms doller as kop-af met al die kleintjies daar.
Maar die wesenlike vraag is: Word die geloofserfenis wat hierdie dierbares nagelaat het, werklik getrou oorgedra sodat God se verbondsvolk van geslag tot geslag bly voortbestaan? In ons eie gemeente span ons ons kragtig in onder die leuse “Geloofsonderrig begin tuis,” maar hoe dringend moes die nood nie gewees het om so 'n slagspreuk te moes opstel nie? Ons ouergeslag het die geloof te midde van vervolging en teenstand bewaar en met algehele toewyding vir die kerk geleef; tog word dit met die verloop van tyd al hoe moeiliker om daardie standvastige geloof te handhaaf.
Namate die geslag wat ondanks armoede en beproewing hul geloof behou het stelselmatig verdwyn, het die kerk in hierdie land ongelukkig 'n voorwerp van bespotting en kritiek in die wêreld geword. Vanoggend kom die dringende uitroep van Jesaja by my op: “Kyk tog af uit die hemel en aanskou uit u heilige en heerlike woning! Ag, as U maar die hemele sou skeur en neerdaal!” Aan ons geliefde ouderlinge en diakonesse, wat nou vanuit die hemel op ons neersien—hoe innig verlang ek om julle weer te sien.