교회로 오는 길목에는 봄마다 갖가지 꽃들이 피어서 참 예쁘기도 합니다. 개나리가 피는가 하면 곧 이어 벚꽃이 피었습니다. 노란색과 분홍색 꽃 둘은 서로 잘 어울렸습니다. 옷을 이렇게 차려입는다면 별로 예쁘지 않을 것 같은데 하나님 지으신 꽃들은 너무 잘 어울리네요. 자두나무 꽃이 참 예쁘게 피기도 했었고 조금 더 가면 꽃분홍 빛 박태기꽃이 피어 운치를 더했습니다. 오월이 가까워 지니 하얀 배꽃도 정말 아름답습니다. 하지만 저희 집은 아무래도 시내보다 기온이 삼사 도 정도는 낮은가 봅니다.
벚꽃이나 목련도 늦게 피더니 철쭉도 아직 피어 있어서 그 우아한 자태를 뽐내고 있습니다. 진분홍빛 철쭉 곁에 작은 철쭉이 있는데 그건 흰 꽃입니다. 흰색은 혼자 있을 때보다 붉은 꽃과 같이 있으면 더 예뻐져서 시너지 효과를 내는 것 같습니다. “여보, 흰 꽃이 너무 빨리 지지 않았으면 좋겠어요. 빨간색만 있는 것보다 훨씬 예뻐지거든요. 둘이 어우러져서 말입니다.” 내 말이 떨어지기가 무섭게 찬스에 강한 남편이 “꼭 우리 두 사람처럼”이라며 장난스럽게 답을 합니다. “아! 정말 그러네요. 둘이 너무 다른 만큼 오히려 잘 어울리잖아요.”
우리 두 사람은 서로 많이 다르답니다. 처음에는 도무지 이해할 수 없는 사람이라 생각했습니다. 잠자고 일어나는 생활습관뿐만 아니라 생각하는 것까지, 말하는 방식이며 중요하게 생각하는 것, 좋아하는 것도 다릅니다. 나는 교과서에 표준전과 같은가 하면 남편은 만화책 같은 사람입니다. 하지만 같은 것도 있습니다. 둘 다 한국 사람이고 남과 북이 다르긴 해도 경상도 사람이고 아! 나이도 같습니다. 그리고 둘 다 죄인이라는 것이고 그럼에도 불구하고 주님의 은혜로 구원받은 백성이라는 것이지요.
물론 사십 년 넘게 함께 살다보니 지금은 서로 닮아 진 부분도 꽤 있습니다. 그래서 어떤 때는 우리가 역할 극을 하는 게 아닌가 싶을 정도로 역할을 바꾸어 할 때도 간혹 있습니다. 어느 날 갑자기 남편답지 않게 제 말을 수정한다든가, 제가 뜬금없이 결정을 하겠다고 할 때가 그럴 때입니다. 국수를 엄청 좋아하던 남편은 물론 당뇨 때문이기도 하지만 요즈음에 국수를 즐겨 드시지 않는 반면 국수를 전혀 좋아하지 않았던 제가 가끔 국수가 먹고 싶다고 찾을 때도 있으니 말입니다.
뿐만 아닙니다. 이건 나이 탓인 것 같은데 그런대로 총기가 괜찮았던 제가 건망증이 아주 대단합니다. 하루 스물 네 시간 중 물건 찾는 시간도 꽤 들어가는 것 같지요. 이제는 두 사람 다 건망증 실력이 비슷하니 “우리 이제 같이 늙어가는 거지요.”라고 말하면서 그냥 서로 쳐다보고 웃고 말지요. 닮아진 것이 꽤 있는데도 불구하고 아직도 우리는 서로 다르다는 것을 문뜩문뜩 깨닫습니다.
아마도 우리 주님께서는 한 팀이 되어서 살려면 서로 다르기도 해야 한다고 생각하신 것 같습니다. 붉은 꽃과 흰 꽃이 잘 어울리듯이, 아니 더 아름답듯이 말입니다. 그래서 우리는 어느새 잘 어우러지는 한 팀이 되어가는 것 같습니다. 주님께서 우리를 불쌍히 여기셨듯이 서로의 약함과 실수들을 보며 불쌍히 여기고, 서로를 있는 그대로 받아줄 수 있다면 우리는 서로 다름 때문에 더 아름다울 수 있을 것 같습니다.
그래서 언젠가 했던 고백을 다시 해 봅니다. “여보, 당신이 나를 보면 답답하고, 내가 당신을 보면 황당하지만 제 인생에 당신이 없었다면 정말 삭막하고 재미없었을 겁니다. 주님께서 제 인생에 당신을 보내어 주셔서 이 땅을 살아가는 삶이 훨씬 재미있고 풍성해졌습니다. 감사합니다.”
Every spring, the road leading to church is filled with all kinds of blooming flowers, creating a truly lovely sight. No sooner had the forsythias bloomed than the cherry blossoms followed. The yellow and pink blossoms complemented each other beautifully. If one were to dress in such contrasting colors, it might not look very appealing, yet the flowers created by God harmonize so wonderfully. The plum blossoms bloomed exquisitely, and a little further down, the deep pink Chinese redbud flowers added an air of elegance. As May draws near, the white pear blossoms are also truly breathtaking. However, our home seems to be about three or four degrees cooler than the city center.
The cherry blossoms and magnolias bloomed late, and even now the royal azaleas are still in bloom, showing off their graceful poise. Beside a deep pink azalea sits a small azalea bush bearing white flowers. White flowers seem to create a synergy, looking far more beautiful when paired with red blooms than when standing alone. “Darling, I hope the white flowers don't fade too quickly. They make everything look so much prettier than having just red flowers alone. It’s because the two blend together.” No sooner had the words left my mouth than my husband, ever quick to seize an opportunity, playfully chimed in: “Just like the two of us.” “Ah! That’s so true. Because we are so different, we actually complement each other all the better.”
The two of us are indeed very different. In the beginning, I thought he was someone I could never comprehend. Not only our sleeping habits and daily routines, but even the way we think, the way we speak, the things we value, and our personal tastes are all different. If I am like a standard school textbook or reference guide, my husband is like a comic book. Yet, we also have things in common. We are both Koreans, both hailing from Gyeongsang Province—though the North and South differ—and ah, we are the exact same age! Moreover, we are both sinners, and yet, by the Lord's grace, we are people redeemed and saved.
Of course, having lived together for over forty years, there are now quite a few ways in which we have grown to resemble one another. At times, it almost feels like we are doing role-play, occasionally switching our usual roles. It happens when my husband uncharacteristically edits my words, or when I unexpectedly take the lead to make a decision. My husband, who used to love noodles dearly—partly due to diabetes, of course—rarely eats them these days, whereas I, who never cared for noodles at all, now occasionally find myself craving and looking for a bowl.
That is not all. Perhaps it is due to age, but I, who used to have quite a sharp mind, have become terribly forgetful. Out of twenty-four hours in a day, quite a bit of time is spent searching for misplaced items. Now that both of our forgetfulness levels are fairly equal, we simply look at each other, smile, and say, “I suppose we are growing old together now.” Even though we have come to resemble each other in so many ways, we still suddenly realize how different we truly are.
Perhaps our Lord thought that to live together as one team, we needed to be different from each other. Just as red and white blossoms complement each other—or rather, become all the more beautiful together. And so, before we knew it, we have been growing into a harmonious team. Just as the Lord had compassion on us, if we can look upon each other's weaknesses and mistakes with compassion, accepting one another just as we are, our differences will make us all the more beautiful.
So, I make once again the confession I offered once before: “Darling, you might find me exasperating, and I might find you bewildering, but without you, my life would have been so desolate and dull. Because the Lord sent you into my life, living on this earth has become so much more delightful and rich. Thank you.”
Elke lente blom daar allerhande soorte blomme langs die pad na die kerk, en dit is werklik 'n pragtige gesig. Skaars het die forsythias geblom, of die kersiebloeisels het gevolg. Die geel en pienk bloeisels het mekaar pragtig aangevul. As 'n mens sulke kontrasterende klere sou aantrek, sou dit dalk nie baie mooi lyk nie, maar die blomme wat God geskape het, pas so wonderlik bymekaar. Die pruimboom se bloeisels het beeldskoon geblom, en 'n entjie verder het die dieppienk Chinese judasboom se blomme 'n besondere sjarme bygedra. Noudat Mei nader kom, is die wit peerbloeisels ook werklik asemrowend. Tog voel dit asof ons huis se temperatuur minstens drie of vier grade laer as die middestad s'n is.
Die kersiebloeisels en magnolias het laat geblom, en selfs nou staan die asaleas nog in blom en spog met hul grasieuse houding. Langs 'n dieppienk asalea is daar 'n kleiner asaleabos met wit blomme. Dit lyk asof wit blomme 'n sinergie skep; hulle is baie mooier wanneer hulle saam met rooi blomme staan as wanneer hulle alleen is. “Liefie, ek hoop die wit blomme verwelk nie te vinnig nie. Hulle laat alles soveel mooier lyk as net rooi blomme alleen. Dit is omdat die twee so mooi saamsmelt.” Skaars het die woorde my mond verlaat, of my man, wat altyd gou is om 'n kans te gryp, antwoord skertsend: “Presies soos ons twee.” “A! Dis rêrig waar. Omdat ons so verskillend is, pas ons eintlik des te beter bymekaar.”
Ons twee verskil immers baie van mekaar. Aanvanklik het ek gedink hy is iemand wat ek nooit sou kon verstaan nie. Nie net ons slaap- en opstaangewoontes nie, maar selfs ons manier van dink, hoe ons praat, wat ons as belangrik beskou en waarvan ons hou, is heeltemal anders. As ek soos 'n standaard skoolhandboek of naslaanwerk is, is my man soos 'n strokiesprentboek. Tog is daar dinge wat ons deel. Ons is albei Koreane, albei kom uit die Gyeongsang-streek—alhoewel noord en suid verskil—en a, ons is presies ewe oud! Bowendien is ons albei sondaars, en tog, deur die Here se genade, vrygekoopte kinders van God.
Natuurlik, noudat ons al meer as veertig jaar saamleef, is daar deesdae heelwat opsigte waarin ons na mekaar begin aard het. Soms voel dit amper asof ons 'n rolspel speel, soos ons af en toe van rolle verwissel. Dit gebeur wanneer my man onkarakteristies my woorde reghelp, of wanneer ek sonder waarskuwing die leiding neem om 'n besluit te maak. My man, wat vroeër baie lief was vir noedels—weliswaar deels weens suikersiekte—eet dit deesdae selde, terwyl ek, wat glad nie van noedels gehou het nie, myself nou soms betrap dat ek lus is vir 'n bakkie noedels.
En dit is nie al nie. Dit is seker maar die ouderdom, maar ek, wat eens 'n redelik skerp verstand gehad het, het geweldig vergeetagtig geword. Van die vier-en-twintig uur in 'n dag gaan nogal heelwat tyd verlore aan soek na goed wat wegraak. Noudat ons vergeetagtigheid min of meer op dieselfde vlak is, kyk ons maar net vir mekaar en lag: “Ons word nou maar saam oud, nè.” Al het ons in soveel dinge na mekaar begin aard, besef ons tog telkens weer hoe verskillend ons werklik is.
Miskien het ons Here gedink dat om as 'n span saam te leef, ons juis van mekaar moes verskil. Net soos rooi en wit blomme mekaar aanvul—of liewer, saam nog mooier is. En so voel dit asof ons mettertyd 'n harmonieuse span geword het. Net soos die Here Hom oor ons ontferm het, as ons mekaar se swakhede en foute met ontferming kan aanskou en mekaar kan aanvaar net soos ons is, kan ons juis vanweë ons verskille nog mooier wees.
Daarom herhaal ek weer die belydenis wat ek lank gelede gemaak het: “Liefie, jy voel dalk moedeloos as jy na my kyk, en ek voel dalk verstom as ek na jou kyk, maar sonder jou in my lewe sou dit werklik dor en vaal gewees het. Omdat die Here jou in my lewe gestuur het, het die lewe hier op aarde soveel ryker en vreugdevoller geword. Baie dankie.”