월요일 밤 7시에 인천 공항에 도착하여 집에 돌아왔을 때는 8시 반이었습니다. 태국 치앙마이와 필리핀 마닐라를 다녀온 가방 정리를 대충 마치고, 떠날 때와는 다르게 창문으로 들어오는 가을 바람을 느끼며 잠자리에 들었지만, 결국은 멜라토닌의 도움을 받았습니다. 그러나 화요일 새벽 4시 45분, 일어나야 할 시간을 알리는 알람을 듣고 일어나 바로 앉아야 할 자리로 이동했습니다. 그동안 방문했던 분들을 떠올리며 기도했습니다. “그들을 위해서 기도하는 새로운 임무를 잘 감당하기를 원합니다 하나님의 은혜가 그들의 사역의 원동력이 되게 하여 주십시오 그러기 위해서 은혜의 원천인 말씀에 가까이 나갈 수 있도록 축복해 주옵소서” 기도를 시작했지만 멜라토닌의 후유증인지 아니면 여행 후유증인지 기도의 자리에 앉은지 40분이 채 되지 않았는데 졸음이 찾아와서 기도실에서 집으로 돌아왔습니다.
그러다보니 평소같으면 산으로 갔다가 집으로 돌아올 시간에 아침 산책을 나갔습니다. 학교 뒷동산으로 나가기도 전에 밤톨이 길에 떨어져서 가을이 온 것을 알려주었습니다. 뒷문을 나서서 올라가는 길에는 그동안 소박한 군락을 이루던 물봉선화는 조금 철이 지난 모습이었고, 대신에 새로운 노란꽃이 아름답게 피어있었습니다. 뚱딴지라고도 하고 돼지감자라고도 하지만 예쁜 모습과 어울리지 않는 이름이라 그 이름으로는 부르고 싶지 않습니다. 푸른 하늘은 더 높아졌고 상쾌한 바람이 우리를 맞이해 주었습니다. 보름 전에도 가끔 줍기도 했지만, 오늘 아침에는 달랐습니다. 너무 잘 익은 밤톨을 주으면서 가을이 이제 왔다는 것을 실감했습니다. 사실 학교 뒷산 길에는 밤톨줍기 체험장이라고 할만큼 밤나무가 많고, 밤나무 수효보다 훨씬 더 많은 사람들이 다녀갔지만, 그래도 제가 주을 수 있는 알밤이 남아있었습니다. 말끔히 줏어갔지만 내가 걷기 직전에 떨어진 알밤은 내 몫이니까요^^
알밤을 주으면서 가을 산길을 걸으며, 그동안 살면서 걸어온 길을 돌아봅니다. 오늘 산행길만 아니라 인생길에도 그랬습니다. 내가 부지런해서도 아니고 영리해서도 아닌데, 내 앞에 방금 떨어진 밤톨처럼 하나님이 주신 선물들을 기억납니다. 시골 중학교 3학년을 다닐 때의 기억입니다. 정규 수업을 시작하기 전 이른 시간에 음악보충수업을 했는데, 아침잠이 많아 잘 참석하지 못했던 내가 그날 따라 참석했습니다. 음악실 문을 열고 들어가는데 선생님께서 베토벤의 ‘운명교향곡’을 설명하고 계셨습니다. 문을 노크하듯이 곡의 시작 부분을 설명하셨습니다. 그 문제가 고졸자격검정시험 음악 시험에 출제가 되었으니 무슨 곡이며 작곡자는 누구인지를 묻는 두 문제 10점을 추가로 얻어 65점으로 과락을 면했습니다. 만약 그 때 음악과목 검정고시를 패스하지 못했더라면, 대학을 들어가지 못했을 것이고, 지금과는 다른 인생길을 걸었을 것입니다. 그 때 그 때 하나님께서 선물처럼 주신 것들로 인해 지금 인생길의 가을도 풍성하게 갈무리를 하고 있는 듯 합니다.
약 한 시간 뒤, 다시 학교로 들어오는 뒷문을 들어서니, 걸음수는 5555보를 넘어섰고, 그 사이 떨어진 또 다른 알밤이 기다리고 있었습니다. 그러나 가을길의 마무리는 감나무에서 떨어진 홍시의 몫이었습니다. 그처럼 기다리던 가을은 이제 높고 푸른 하늘, 그리고 산길에 흩어진 밤톨뿐 아니라 빠알갛게 잘 익은 길바닥에 떨어진 감홍시를 보면서 다시 한 번 확인을 합니다. 삼라만상에서 이제는 새로운 계절이 온 것을 확인할 수 있습니다. 태산에 한 잎 낙엽을 보면서도 천하의 가을이 온 것을 볼 수 있었다면, 눈 돌리는 곳곳에 찾아온 계절의 변화를 부인할 수는 없습니다. 오직 미련한 사람만이 창조주 하나님이 계신 것을 부인할 뿐입니다. 복 주시는 하나님께서 우리 삶의 주인인 것을 애써 부인하는 어리석은 자들처럼 살지 말기를, 그들이 장차 받을 재앙을 받지 말 것을 주님은 지금도 호소합니다. “내 백성아, 거기서 나와 그의 죄에 참여하지 말고 그가 받을 재앙들을 받지 말라”(계 18:4)
Arriving at Incheon Airport at 7:00 on Monday evening, I reached home by 8:30. After roughly unpacking my bags from Chiang Mai, Thailand, and Manila, the Philippines, I went to bed, noticing how different the autumn breeze drifting through the window felt compared to when I had left. In the end, though, I needed the help of melatonin to fall asleep. Yet at 4:45 on Tuesday morning, when the alarm sounded to wake me, I got up and made my way to the place where I needed to sit. Remembering the people I had recently visited, I began to pray: "Lord, help me to faithfully carry out this new calling of interceding for them. May Your grace be the driving force behind their ministries. To that end, bless them so they may draw closer to the Word, the very fountainhead of all grace." I started praying, but whether it was the lingering effect of the melatonin or simply travel fatigue, drowsiness overtook me before even forty minutes had passed, and I had to return home from the prayer room.
As a result, I stepped out for a morning walk at the time I would usually have been returning home from the mountain. Even before reaching the hill behind the campus, chestnuts scattered on the path announced the arrival of autumn. Walking up through the back gate, the modest clusters of impatiens flowers that had bloomed there were past their prime; in their place, lovely new yellow blossoms stood in full bloom. People call them Jerusalem artichokes or "pig potatoes," but such names do not suit their delicate beauty, so I prefer not to use them. The blue sky stretched higher, and a crisp, refreshing breeze welcomed us. Even a fortnight ago I had occasionally picked up chestnuts, but this morning was distinctly different. Holding the plump, beautifully ripened chestnuts, I truly felt that autumn had arrived. Indeed, the trail behind the school has so many chestnut trees that it could easily serve as a chestnut-gathering ground, and far more people had already walked by than there were trees. Yet there were still ripe chestnuts left for me to gather. Others had swept through and cleared them away, but the ones that fell right before my feet belonged to me!^^
Gathering ripe chestnuts and walking along the autumn mountain trail, I reflected on the path I have journeyed through life. It has been true not only of this mountain trail today, but of my entire life's journey. It was never because I was diligent or clever; rather, I am reminded of God's sovereign gifts, granted just like the chestnuts falling unexpectedly before my feet. I am reminded of my third year in a rural middle school. In those days, an early supplementary music class was held before the regular school day began. Having trouble waking early in the morning, I rarely attended, but on that particular day, I went. As I opened the door to the music room, the teacher was explaining Beethoven's Fate Symphony, describing how the opening notes resemble knocking at the door. That very subject appeared on the high school equivalency qualification exam. I earned an additional ten points by answering the two questions asking for the title of the piece and its composer, scoring sixty-five points and barely avoiding a failing grade. Had I failed the music subject then, I would never have entered university and would have walked an entirely different path in life. Step by step, it is through the gracious gifts God provided along the way that the autumn of my life is being harvested so abundantly today.
About an hour later, as I returned through the back gate of the university, my pedometer had surpassed 5,555 steps, and another chestnut that had fallen in the meantime was waiting for me. Yet the final brushstroke of this autumn path belonged to a ripe, soft persimmon fallen from the tree. That eagerly awaited autumn is now affirmed once again—not only by the high, azure sky and the chestnuts scattered along mountain paths, but also by the deep-red, soft persimmon fallen upon the ground. Throughout all creation, one can plainly see that a new season has arrived. If a single falling leaf on Mount Tai can herald autumn across the whole world, then one cannot deny the change of seasons unfolding wherever one turns. Only the foolish deny that God the Creator exists. The Lord still pleads with us today not to live like those foolish souls who stubbornly deny that God, the Giver of all blessing, is Lord of our lives, nor to partake in the calamities that await them: "Come out of her, my people, so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her plagues" (Rev. 18:4).
Nadat ek Maandagaand om 19:00 by Incheon-lughawe aangekom het, was ek teen 20:30 tuis. Nadat ek my tasse van Chiang Mai in Thailand en Manila in die Filippyne haastig uitgepak het, het ek gaan slaap terwyl ek die herfsbriesie deur die venster voel waai het—heel anders as toe ek vertrek het. Uiteindelik moes ek egter die hulp van melatonien inroep om aan die slaap te raak. Nietemin het die wekker Dinsdagoggend om 04:45 afgegaan om my te herinner dat dit opstaantyd is, en ek het reguit na my stilteplek gegaan. Terwyl ek gedink het aan die mense wat ek onlangs besoek het, het ek begin bid: "Here, help my om hierdie nuwe taak om vir hulle te bid, getrou uit te voer. Laat U genade die dryfkrag agter hulle bediening wees. Seën hulle sodat hulle al hoe nader aan die Woord, die bron van alle genade, kan leef." Ek het begin bid, maar hetsy weens die nawerking van die melatonien of die uitputting van die reis, het die vaak my oorval nog voor ek veertig minute lank kon sit, en ek moes uit die bidkamer terugkeer huis toe.
Gevolglik het ek eers vir my oggendwandeling uitgegaan teen die tyd wat ek gewoonlik al van die berg af terugkeer huis toe. Nog voor ek by die heuwel agter die kampus kon uitkom, het kastaiings wat op die pad geval het, aangekondig dat die herfs hier is. Toe ek by die agterste hek uitstap en teen die paadjie opgaan, was die beskeie bosse balsemiene wat daar gegroei het, reeds verby hul bloeityd; in hul plek het nuwe, pragtige geel blomme vrolik oopgegaan. Mense noem dit Jerusalem-artisjokke of varkpatats, maar aangesien sulke name nie by hul lieflike voorkoms pas nie, noem ek hulle liewer nie so nie. Die blou hemelruim het nog hoër gelyk en 'n vars briesie het ons verwelkom. Twee weke gelede het ek ook al af en toe kastaiings opgetel, maar vanoggend was anders. Toe ek die stewige, pragtig ryp kastaiings optel, het ek werklik besef dat die herfs nou finaal hier is. Trouens, op die bergpaadjie agter die skool is daar soveel kastaiingbome dat dit soos 'n vrugteboord voel, en baie meer mense as bome het reeds daar verbygestap. Nietemin was daar steeds volronde kastaiings oor vir my om op te tel. Ander het weliswaar die paadjie skoongemaak, maar die kastaiings wat net voor my voete neergeval het, was vir my bedoel!^^
Terwyl ek kastaiings optel en op die herfspad wandel, dink ek terug aan die pad wat ek deur my lewe geloop het. Dit was immers waar van my hele lewenspad, net soos van hierdie bergwandeling vanoggend. Dit was nie omdat ek besonder vlytig of skrander was nie, maar ek word herinner aan die geskenke wat God my gegee het—net soos die vars kastaiings wat skielik voor my voete val. Dit herinner my aan my graad 9-jaar op 'n plattelandse skool. Destyds was daar vroegoggend, voor die gewone lesse begin het, 'n ekstra musiekklas. Omdat ek vanoggende lief was vir lank slaap, het ek selde gegaan, maar daardie oggend het ek toevallig opgedaag. Toe ek die deur van die musieklokaal oopmaak, was die onderwyser besig om Beethoven se Lotsimfonie te verduidelik. Hy het die begin van die stuk beskryf as 'n klop aan die deur. Daardie einste vraag het op die matriekekwivalensie-eksamen vir musiek verskyn: twee vrae oor die titel en die komponis, wat my tien ekstra punte besorg het sodat ek met 65 punte 'n druipuitslag ternouernood kon vryspring. As ek destyds nie daardie musiekeksamen geslaag het nie, sou ek nooit universiteit toe kon gaan nie en sou my lewenspad heel anders verloop het. Deur die dinge wat God van tyd tot tyd soos geskenke voorsien het, blyk dit dat die herfs van my lewe vandag in oorvloed geoes word.
Omtrent 'n uur later, toe ek weer by die agterhekkie van die universiteit instap, was my stapteller reeds verby 5 555 treë, en nóg 'n kastaiing wat intussen geval het, het op my gewag. Maar die ware bekroning van hierdie herfswandeling het behoort aan 'n ryp, sagte tamatiepersimmon wat van die boom geval het. Daardie lank verwagte herfs word nou weer opnuut bevestig—nie net deur die hoë, helderblou lug en die kastaiings langs die bergpaadjie nie, maar ook deur die dieprooi, sagte persimmon wat op die grond lê. Regoor die ganse skepping kan 'n mens sien dat 'n nuwe seisoen aangebreek het. As 'n enkele vallende blaar op die berg Taishan reeds kan toon dat die herfs oor die ganse aarde gekom het, kan niemand die verandering van seisoene ontken wat oral om ons sigbaar is nie. Net 'n dwaas kan ontken dat daar 'n Skepper-God is. Die Here pleit vandag nog by ons om nie te leef soos die dwase wat hardkoppig ontken dat die seënende God die Here van ons lewe is nie, sodat ons nie die oordele hoef te ontvang wat hulle voorlê nie: "Gaan uit haar uit, my volk, sodat julle nie aan haar sondes gemeenskap het en van haar plae ontvang nie" (Openb. 18:4).