이번 여름 4주간을 보낸 미국을 떠나서 지난 한 주간 캐나다를 다녀왔습니다. 아침 9시에 큰 아들네 집을 떠나서 캐나다 토론토에서 승용차로 세 시간 정도 떨어져 있는 킹스턴 둘째 아들네 집에 도착했을 때는 밤 12시 가까이 되었습니다. 물론 공항을 오가는 시간과 5시간 가까운 비행시간에다가 3시간의 시차 때문이기도 합니다. 그 시차를 무시하더라도 큰아들 집을 나서 작은 아들 집에까지 12시간은 걸린 셈입니다. 뒷날은 주일이었으니 둘째네 세 딸들과 함께 소속된 캐나다 개혁교회 예배에 참석하는 것으로 캐나다 방문 첫 날의 일정을 열었습니다.
그날 저녁 그 교회 담임이었던 조지 목사님 부부를 초대해서 바베큐 식사를 함께 했습니다. (목사님은 교단의 입장과 달라서 교단 교회 담임은 사임했지만 성도의 한 사람으로 그 교회에 소속되어 있습니다) 초대된 두 분은 각각 자신의 부모들이 네덜란드에서 이민와서 겪었던 옛 기억들을 들려주었고, 항공사에 근무한 적이 있는 사모님은 에어 캐나다 비행기가 가는 곳에는 쉽게 여행을 할 수 있다고 말하기에 한국에, 울산에 오면 된다고 초대의 은사를 해외에서도 발휘했습니다. 그래서 ‘집안에서 새는 바가지는 밖에서도 샌다‘고 하나 봅니다.
뒷날 월요일 오전 느즈막한 시간에 우리가 온다고 이틀 휴가를 낸 며느리까지 모두 일곱 명이 집을 나섰습니다. 6살부터 일흔일곱살까지 함께 즐길 수 있는 <레모인 포인트 자연보호지구>라는 곳으로 갔습니다. 킹스턴 서쪽에 위치한 온타리오호 해안선을 끼고 형성된 41만평의 대표적인 이 동네 자연보호구역입니다. 울창한 활엽수림, 넓은 들판, 습지가 다채롭게 어우러져 있는 곳입니다. 다양한 텃새와 철새, 다람쥐, 사슴 등을 볼 수 있는 곳이니 모두가 기대를 갖고 숲속 길을 들어서자 마자 제일 먼저 다람쥐가 마중을 나왔습니다. 물가에는 오리 떼와 청둥오리, 갈매기도 환영행사에 빠질새라 모두 만났습니다.
어디를 나가든 우리 팀은 나이가 가장 어린 팀원을 기준으로 움직이다 보면 한나절씩 시간을 보낼 수는 없습니다. 길어야 두 시간 정도입니다. 그날도 한 시간 남짓 숲속을 걷고 나서 피크닉 벤치에서 점심을 먹었습니다. 막 일어서려는 찰나, 시도 때도 없이 내리는 비가 내리기 시작했습니다. 그래서 5년차 본토인은 우산도 없이 후드만 쓰고, 한 주간 방문한 외래인 두 사람은 우산을 쓰고 철수했습니다.
끼니마다 식탁에 올려지는 음식은 감동적입니다. 아이들의 왕할머니도 “요리사 할머니”라는 칭호를 받았고, 할머니도, 엄마도 모두 한 솜씨하는 정씨 가문의 요리사 며느리들인가 봅니다. 그날 저녁에는 며느리의 홈메이드 햄버그 역시 오래 기억할만한 수준이었습니다. 음식점에서는 결코 기대할 수 없는 맛있고 건강한 햄버그였습니다. 가족들이 모여서 맛있는 햄버그를 먹고 ‘모노폴리’라는 카드놀이가 시작되었습니다. 모노폴리 게임에서 아홉살짜리 둘째 손녀는 혼자서 사업을 시작했고, 6살짜리 막내는 아빠와 편을 먹고, 혼자서는 별로 할줄 아는 것이 없는 할아버지는 할머니와 한 편을 먹었습니다. 다른 두 팀들은 승승장구를 하는 사업판에서 할아버지 할머니는 감옥을 큰집처럼 자주 드나들었습니다. 한 차례 감옥행을 할 때마다 할아버지 처지가 안타까워 막내손녀는 거금 1불씩을 쾌척하는 따뜻한 마음씨가 할아버지를 감동시켰습니다.
아주 어릴 때는 두 언니가 싸워도 전혀 관여를 하지 않았다고 합니다. 조금 더 자라면서는 싸움이 나면 우는 쪽이 생기기 마련이고 그러면 다가가서 “아 유 오케이?”라고 위로한다네요. 이번에도 할아버지 할머니가 곧 간다는 이야기에 눈물을 흘렸으니, 아무리 무늬만 할아버지 할머니라고 해도 마음이 아팠습니다. 미국의 막내 손자도 축구 시합에 다른 할아버지 할머니가 응원 나오는 것이 부러웠고, 이곳 손녀들도 외국생활의 외로움이 자리하고 있나봅니다. 그래서 며칠이라도 함께 놀아주는 시간이 필요합니다. 조금 더 시간이 흐르면 큰 집의 손녀들처럼 데이트 한다고 우리와 함께 놀 일은 없어지겠지요^^
첫 째는 사춘기라 어린 동생들과 어울릴 나이가 아니지만 둘째와 셋째는 아직 어리니 서로 좋은 친구이자 때로는 싸우기도 한다는 것은 누구나 예상하는 일입니다. 셋째의 기분을 잘 보살피고 챙기다가도 은근히 화가 쌓이면 둘째는 동생을 툭 치기도 한답니다. 하긴 동생도 기분이 나쁘면, 언니에게 욕을 하기도 하는데 그 때는 아빠가 호되게 야단을 치는데, 막내는 미소작전으로 나오든지, 야단을 맞고도 잠깐 후면 모든 것을 잊은 듯이 처신하는 약발이 잘 먹히지 않는 아이랍니다. 또 이곳 학교에서는 누구든 화가 나면 아무도 괴롭히지 않도록 ’혼자만의 시간‘을 갖는다‘고 말하면, 다른 사람에게 피해를 주지 않는 한, 혼자서 기분을 풀도록 선생님이든 친구들이든 모두 배려(?)한다니 새롭습니다.
이 집 풍습 중에 이색적인 것은 저녁 식사시간이 끝날 때쯤은 아빠가 성경 한 절을 먼저 한글로, 다음 영어로 읽어주고, 모두가 따라하도록 하는 신앙의 가정의 식탁문화가 감동적이었습니다. 어려운 단어가 나오면 짧은 설명을 곁들이기도 하고요^^ 요즈음은 시편 119편을 통과하는 중이고 월요일부터 하루에 한 절씩 읽고 따라하는데 할아버지 할머니도 함께 따라 했습니다. 시편 119편의 만리장성을 다 끝내려면 새로운 봄이 오겠지요^^ 그 때쯤 나이에 맞는 믿음의 새싹들이 움트기를 바랍니다.
금요일은 뒷날 비행기를 타기 위해서 미리 토론토에 와서 온 가족이 1박을 했습니다. 다행히 그날 한국에 갔던 아이들의 이모가 두 아들을 데리고 토론토에 입국을 했습니다. 사촌오빠들을 다시 만나는 기쁨이 할아버지 할머니와 이별의 슬픔을 조금은 덜어주어서 하나님의 세밀한 간섭하심에 감사했습니다. “안전한 여행되시길 기도할께요. 계시는 동안에 손녀들이 많이 누렸어요”라는 카톡처럼 카나다 한 주간 여행은 하나님의 은혜가 풍성했습니다.
After spending four weeks in the United States this summer, we visited Canada for the past week. Leaving our eldest son's home at 9:00 AM, it was nearly midnight when we finally arrived at our second son's home in Kingston, which is about a three-hour drive from Toronto, Canada. This was partly due to traveling to and from the airports, an almost five-hour flight, and a three-hour time difference. Even setting aside the time difference, it took a full twelve hours from stepping out of our eldest son's door to reaching our second son's home. The following day was the Lord's Day, so we began our itinerary in Canada by attending the Canadian Reformed Church worship service with our second son and his three daughters.
That evening, we invited Pastor George and his wife, who had previously served as the senior pastor of that congregation, for a barbecue dinner. (Due to differing convictions on denomination matters, he had stepped down from the senior pastorate, but he remains a faithful member of the church as a brother in Christ.) The couple shared cherished memories of their respective parents immigrating from the Netherlands. When the pastor's wife, who once worked for an airline, mentioned that traveling is quite accessible wherever Air Canada flies, I exercised my spiritual gift of hospitality abroad by urging, "Then all you need to do is come to Ulsan, Korea!" I suppose the old Korean proverb is true: "A gourd that leaks at home will also leak abroad."
Late the next morning, on Monday, all seven of us set out—including our daughter-in-law, who had taken two days off from work for our visit. We headed to a place called Lemoine Point Conservation Area, an outing enjoyable for everyone from a six-year-old to a seventy-seven-year-old. Located on the western edge of Kingston along the shoreline of Lake Ontario, it is a renowned local nature reserve covering about 335 acres (136 hectares). It features a richly woven tapestry of lush deciduous forests, open fields, and serene wetlands. Since it is a habitat for a variety of resident birds, migratory fowl, squirrels, and deer, we stepped onto the forest trail with high hopes; right away, a squirrel darted out to greet us. Down by the water, flocks of ducks, mallards, and seagulls made sure not to miss out on the welcoming committee.
Whenever our team goes out, our schedule is paced around the youngest member, so we can never spend half a day in one spot. Two hours at most is our limit. That day, after walking through the woods for a little over an hour, we enjoyed lunch at a picnic bench. Just as we were getting up, the unpredictable rain began to fall. The locals of five years simply pulled up their hoodies without umbrellas, while the two visitors who were there just for a week retreated under umbrellas.
Every meal served at the table was truly heartwarming. The children's great-grandmother had earned the affectionate title of "Chef Grandmother," and it seems that both grandmother and mother share that same culinary flair—perhaps all the daughters-in-law of the Jung family are natural-born chefs. That evening, our daughter-in-law's homemade hamburgers were unforgettable. They were delicious, nourishing burgers that no restaurant could ever rival. After the family gathered to enjoy the meal, we started a game of Monopoly Deal. In the game, our nine-year-old second granddaughter launched her business independently; the six-year-old youngest teamed up with her dad; and Grandpa, who can hardly manage the game alone, teamed up with Grandma. While the other two teams flourished in their business ventures, Grandpa and Grandma frequently went in and out of jail as if it were a family home. Each time we landed behind bars, our youngest granddaughter, moved by Grandpa's plight, generously donated a whole dollar to bail him out. Her tender heart deeply moved me.
I was told that when she was very little, she never got involved when her two older sisters quarreled. As she grew a bit older, whenever a dispute broke out and one of them started to cry, she would walk over and comfort her, asking, "Are you okay?" This time, she wept when she heard that Grandpa and Grandma would soon be leaving. Even if we are mostly "grandparents in name only" due to the distance, it tugged at my heartstrings. Our youngest grandson in America also envied how other grandfathers and grandmothers came out to cheer at soccer matches, and it seems our granddaughters here likewise carry a sense of loneliness living far from family abroad. That is why it is so necessary to spend even just a few days playing alongside them. In a little while, just like our older granddaughters in the eldest son's family who are now busy dating, they won't have time to hang out with us anymore, will they?^^
The eldest has reached adolescence and is past the age of hanging around with younger siblings, but the second and third are still little, so it is only natural that they are close friends who occasionally squabble. The second sister cares for and looks after the youngest's feelings, but when mild irritation builds up, she sometimes gives her a little nudge. To be fair, when the youngest is upset, she might use rough language toward her sister. When that happens, her father scolds her firmly. Yet the little one either disarms everyone with a bright smile or acts shortly after being disciplined as if nothing ever happened—discipline hardly seems to leave a mark on her! Interestingly, at school here, if anyone gets angry and declares, "I need my alone time," teachers and classmates alike respect that space so nobody bothers them, allowing them to cool down by themselves as long as it causes no harm to others. It felt quite novel and thoughtful.
One unique and touching tradition in this home is what happens toward the end of dinner: the father reads a verse of Scripture first in Korean and then in English, and everyone repeats it together. This devotional table culture in a Christian home was deeply moving. Whenever an unfamiliar word appears, he adds a brief explanation.^^
Currently, they are making their way through Psalm 119, reading and reciting one verse each day starting from Monday, and Grandpa and Grandma gladly joined in. By the time we finish this "Great Wall" of Psalm 119, a fresh spring will surely have arrived.^^ My prayer is that by then, new shoots of faith suited to each child's age will blossom.
On Friday, to be ready for our flight the following day, the whole family traveled ahead to Toronto and spent the night. Thankfully, on that very day, the children's aunt, who had been visiting Korea, arrived in Toronto with her two sons. The joy of reuniting with their older cousins softened the sadness of bidding farewell to Grandpa and Grandma, for which we gave thanks for God's detailed providence. Just as the KakaoTalk message read, "I will pray for your safe journey. The granddaughters were so blessed during your stay," our week-long journey in Canada was overflowing with the grace of God.
Nadat ons hierdie somer vier weke in die Verenigde State deurgebring het, het ons die afgelope week Kanada besoek. Ons het om 09:00 die oggend by ons oudste seun se huis vertrek, en dit was byna middernag toe ons uiteindelik by ons tweede seun se huis in Kingston aangekom het, wat sowat drie uur se ry vanaf Toronto, Kanada, geleë is. Dit was deels vanweë die reistyd na en van die lughawens, 'n vlug van bykans vyf uur, en 'n tydverskil van drie uur. Selfs al laat 'n mens die tydverskil buite rekening, het dit volle twaalf uur geneem van die oomblik toe ons by die oudste seun se huis uitgestap het totdat ons by die tweede seun s'n aangekom het. Die volgende dag was die Dag van die Here, en ons het ons besoek aan Kanada geopen deur saam met ons tweede seun en sy drie dogters die erediens van die plaaslike Kanadese Gereformeerde Kerk by te woon.
Daardie aand het ons ds. George en sy vrou, wat voorheen die leraar van daardie gemeente was, vir 'n braai-ete genooi. (Weens 'n verskil in standpunt met die denominasie het hy as leraar bedank, maar hy behoort steeds as 'n gelowige lidmaat aan die gemeente.) Die twee gaste het herinneringe gedeel aan hul onderskeie ouers se immigrasie uit Nederland. Toe die dominee se vrou, wat voorheen by 'n lugredery gewerk het, noem dat sy maklik kan reis na enige plek waar Air Canada vlieg, het ek my gawe van gasvryheid oorsee beoefen deur te sê: "Dan moet julle beslis na Ulsan in Korea kom!" Soos die Koreaanse spreekwoord lui: "'n Kalbas wat tuis lek, lek ook buite."
Die volgende oggend, Maandag, het al sewe van ons taamlik laat vertrek—insluitend ons skoondogter, wat twee dae verlof geneem het vir ons besoek. Ons is na 'n plek genaamd Lemoine Point Natuurreservaat, 'n bestemming wat enigiemand van ses tot sewe-en-sewentig jaar kan geniet. Dit is 'n bekende plaaslike bewaringsgebied van sowat 136 hektaar langs die kuslyn van die Ontariomeer wes van Kingston. Dit spog met 'n ryke verskeidenheid digte loofwoude, wye oop velde en vleilande. Omdat 'n mens daar talle inheemse voëls, trekvoëls, eekhorings en takbokke kan sien, het ons almal vol verwagting die bospaadjie aangedurf; die heel eerste wat ons kom verwelkom het, was 'n eekhoring. Naby die waterkant was daar swerms eende, wilde-eende en seemeeue wat beslis nie die verwelkomingskomitee wou misloop nie.
Waar ons span ook al gaan, pas ons ons aan by die pas van die jongste lid, sodat ons nooit 'n halwe dag op een plek kan deurbring nie. Hoogstens twee uur is ons perk. Daardie dag het ons na iets meer as 'n uur se stap in die woud middagete op 'n piekniekbankie geniet. Net toe ons wou opstaan, het die onvoorspelbare reën begin uitsak. Die plaaslike inwoners van vyf jaar het sonder sambrele net hul kappies opgetrek, terwyl die twee besoekers wat slegs vir 'n week daar was, onder sambrele skuiling gesoek en teruggetrek het.
Elke maaltyd wat op tafel gesit is, was waarlik hartroerend. Die kinders se oumagrootjie het destyds die titel "Sjef-ouma" verwerf, en dit blyk dat ouma én ma albei geseën is met uitsonderlike kookvernuf—al die skoondogters van die Jung-familie blyk gebore sjefs te wees. Daardie aand was ons skoondogter se tuisgemaakte hamburgers iets wat 'n mens lank sal bybly. Dit was smaaklike, gesonde burgers wat geen restaurant ooit kan ewenaar nie. Nadat die gesin saam die heerlike hamburgers geniet het, het ons Monopoly Deal begin speel. In hierdie speletjie het ons negejarige tweede kleindogter haar eie sakeonderneming begin; die sesjarige jongste het 'n span saam met haar pa gevorm; en oupa, wat nie juis op sy eie kon regkom nie, het saam met ouma 'n span gevorm. Terwyl die ander twee spanne floreer het in die sakewêreld, het oupa en ouma gereeld in en uit die tronk beweeg asof dit 'n familiehuis was. Elke keer wanneer ons in die tronk beland het, het die jongste kleindogter, begaan oor oupa se lot, vrygewig 'n reusagtige een dollar geskenk om hom te help. Haar teer hartjie het my diep geraak.
Daar word vertel dat sy as kleuter glad nie betrokke geraak het wanneer haar twee ouer sussies baklei het nie. Soos sy ouer geword het, sou een van hulle onvermydelik begin huil as daar rusie was, en dan het sy nadergestap en gevra: "Are you okay?" om haar te troos. Ook hierdie keer het sy trane gestort toe sy hoor dat oupa en ouma binnekort sou vertrek; al is ons weens die afstand dalk net "oupa en ouma in naam", het dit my hart diep aangegryp. Ons jongste kleinseun in Amerika was ook jaloers op ander kinders wie se oupas en oumas hulle by sokkerwedstryde kom aanmoedig het, en dit wil voorkom of ons kleindogters hier eweneens die eensaamheid van die lewe in die buiteland ervaar. Daarom is dit so kosbaar om selfs net 'n paar dae saam met hulle te speel. Oor 'n rukkie, soos ons ouer kleindogters by die oudste seun wat deesdae besig is met afsprake, sal hulle sekerlik nie meer tyd hê om saam met ons te speel nie.^^
Die oudste het die tienerjare bereik en is verby die ouderdom om gedurig met jonger boeties en sussies te speel, maar die tweede en derde is nog klein, en dit is te verwagte dat hulle goeie maats is wat soms ook vasstry. Die tweede sussie neem die jongste se gevoelens mooi in ag, maar wanneer irritasie stilweg opbou, gee sy haar sussie soms 'n ligte stampie. Om die waarheid te sê, as die jongste kwaad word, praat sy soms lelik met haar ouer sussie. Dan spreek haar pa haar streng aan, maar die jongste reageer óf met 'n ontwapenende glimlag, óf gedra haar kort daarna asof niks gebeur het nie—dissipline lyk asof dit skaars aan haar vat! Interessant genoeg, by die skool hier, as enigiemand kwaad word en sê: "Ek wil my eie tyd hê," sorg onderwysers sowel as maats dat niemand daardie kind pla nie, sodat sy rustig op haar eie kan afkoel solank dit niemand anders benadeel nie. Dit het vir my baie nuut en bedagsaam voorgekom.
'n Besonderse en treffende gewoonte in hierdie huis vind plaas teen die einde van die aandete: die pa lees 'n Bybelvers eers in Koreaans en daarna in Engels, en almal herhaal dit agterna. Hierdie geloofskultuur om die etenstafel was diep roerend. As daar 'n moeilike woord opduik, voeg hy 'n kort verduideliking by.^^
Deesdae werk hulle deur Psalm 119; vanaf Maandag lees en herhaal hulle elke dag een vers, en oupa en ouma het ywerig saamgelees. Teen die tyd dat ons hierdie "Groot Muur" van Psalm 119 voltooi, sal daar sekerlik 'n nuwe lente aanbreek.^^ Mag daar teen daardie tyd nuwe geloofslote ontkiem wat pas by elkeen se ouderdom.
Vrydag het die hele gesin vooraf na Toronto gereis en daar oornag om gereed te wees vir ons vlug die volgende dag. Genadiglik het die kinders se tannie, wat na Korea gereis het, juis daardie dag met haar twee seuns in Toronto aangekom. Die vreugde om hul neefs weer te sien, het die hartseer van afskeid neem van oupa en ouma ietwat verlig, en ons was dankbaar vir God se fyn beskikking. Soos die KakaoTalk-boodskap gelui het: "Ons bid vir 'n veilige reis. Die kleindogters het julle kuier terdeë geniet," was hierdie week lange reis in Kanada oorvloedig geseën met die genade van God.