오늘은 구주대망 2016년 마지막 주일입니다. 한 해를 보내면서 자신을 돌아봅니다. 한해살이풀들은 꽃이 피었다가 시들고 나면 뽑아버립니다. 때로는 시들기도 전에 비바람이 불고 나면, 손질을 해야 합니다. 누워있는 꽃은 지지대에 묶어서 세워주고, 한 물이 지나간 꽃들은 때로는 자르고 때로는 뽑아내기도 하는 것이 손질방법이기도 합니다. 그러나 여러해살이 초목들은 다릅니다. 한 해가 지나가면 대나무는 마디를 남기면서 자란 흔적을 남기고, 보통 나무들은 나이테를 만들면서 삶의 기록을 거기에 새깁니다.
우리 각자가 남긴 한 해의 기록은 어떤 것이 있을까요? 지워버리고 싶은 부끄러운 것들도 있을 것입니다. 때론 우리가 받은 상처의 흔적은 다시 기억하기도 싫지만 불현듯이 떠오르기도 하고 불러내지 않아도 오롯이 고개를 내밀기도 할 것입니다. 그래서 우린 시인의 기도에 함께 하고 싶습니다. “여호와여 내 젊은 시절의 죄와 허물을 기억하지 마시고 주의 인자하심을 따라 주께서 나를 기억하시되 주의 선하심으로 하옵소서”(시 25:7) 젊은 날뿐만 아니라 머리가 희끗희끗해져도 기억하지 않았으면 하는 죄와 허물은 사라지지 않습니다.
하지만 주님의 선하심은, 주님의 인자하심은 우리의 허물과 죄악에 눈길을 두지 아니하시니 얼마나 감사한지요? 많은 감사 제목 가운데 가장 감사한 것은 보낸 한 해가 ‘주님께로 더 가까이 나아간’ 한 해라는 사실입니다. 어떻게 더 가까이 했다고 감히 말할 수 있을까요? 그것은 주님과 함께 한 시간이 옛날보다 더 많아졌기 때문입니다. 지난 5월 첫날부터 멕체인 성경읽기표에 따라서 규칙적으로 성경을 읽는 일을 새롭게 힘썼기 때문입니다. 아시는 대로 영국 웨일즈에서 집필휴가를 보내면서 다시 한 번 설교자 로이드 존스의 생애를 읽었고, 이전부터 알았던 사실이지만 새삼 나의 멘토인 로이드 존스와 자신을 비교하게 되었습니다.
사부(師父)님은 20대 후반부터 멕체인 성경읽기표에 따라서 성경을 규칙적으로 읽었고, 81세로 세상을 떠났는데, 그 마지막 한 주간은 거의 혼수상태에서 가끔 의식이 돌아와도 아내와 대화조차 하지 못하고 눈짓으로만 의사소통을 했는데 그래도 3월 1일 세상을 떠났을 때 유품을 정리하면서, 그가 성경을 읽은 책갈피가 2월 마지막 날 읽은 자리에 있었다고 증언합니다. 그래서 그분에 관한 책을 새로 쓰는 것보다 더 중요한 것은 그분의 삶을 본받는 것이라 생각하고 다시 성경을 규칙적으로 읽기 시작했습니다. 그 때는 이미 매일성경을 따라 묵상하고 자판으로 기도를 하는 것은 자리를 잡았기에 말씀과 기도가 서로 선순환을 이루어 마음속에 기쁨이 더 풍성해졌습니다. 주님을 사랑하는 사람은 그분과 함께 보내는 시간을 가장 소중하게 생각합니다. 그러면 여러분을 소중하게 여기시는 하나님의 사랑을 날마다 경험하는 기쁨을 맛볼 것입니다.
Today is the final Sunday of the Year of our Lord 2016. As I see this year off, I take time to look back upon myself. Annual plants are pulled up and discarded once their flowers have bloomed and faded. Even before they wither, when wind and rain sweep through, they require careful tending. Propping up fallen flowers against stakes, pruning past-their-prime blooms, or pulling some out altogether is the way of tending them. Yet perennial vegetation is different. When a year passes, bamboo leaves behind a new joint as a trace of its growth, and ordinary trees etch the record of their lives into an annual ring.
What kind of record has each of us left behind this past year? There surely must be shameful moments we wish we could erase. At times, the scars of wounds we suffered are things we would rather not remember, yet they flash unbidden into our minds or peek their heads out clearly without being summoned. That is why we yearn to join in the psalmist’s prayer: “Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, Lord” (Psalm 25:7). Not only in the days of youth, but even as our hair turns gray with age, those sins and shortcomings we wish were forgotten never completely vanish.
Yet how deeply thankful we are that the Lord’s goodness and His steadfast love do not fix their gaze upon our flaws and sins! Among so many reasons for gratitude, what I am most grateful for is that the past year was one in which I drew “closer to the Lord.” How can I dare say I drew closer? It is because the time I spent with the Lord became far greater than in the past. It is because, starting from the first day of last May, I made a renewed effort to read the Scriptures regularly according to the M’Cheyne Bible Reading Plan. As you know, while spending a writing sabbatical in Wales, UK, I read through the life of the preacher Martyn Lloyd-Jones once again. Though it was something I had already known, I found myself newly comparing myself to Lloyd-Jones, who has long been my mentor.
From his late twenties, my esteemed mentor read the Bible regularly following the M’Cheyne plan until he went home to be with the Lord at the age of eighty-one. During his final week, he was mostly in a coma; even when he briefly regained consciousness, he could not speak with his wife and could only communicate through the glance of his eyes. Yet, as people attested when sorting through his belongings after his passing on March 1st, his bookmark was placed exactly where he was scheduled to read on the final day of February. Reflecting on this, I realized that far more important than writing a new book about him was emulating his life, and so I began once again to read the Scriptures with disciplined regularity. Since meditating through Daily Bible (Maeil Seongkyeong) and typing out my prayers had already become a steady habit, the Word and prayer formed a virtuous cycle, filling my heart with an even greater abundance of joy. Those who love the Lord cherish the time spent with Him above all else. When you do so, you will taste the daily joy of experiencing the love of God, who treasures each one of you dearly.
Vandag is die laaste Sondag van die Jaar van ons Here 2016. Terwyl ek die jaar vaarwel roep, kyk ek terug op myself. Eenjarige plante word uitgehaal en weggegooi sodra hul blomme geblom en verwelk het. Selfs voordat hulle verdor, wanneer wind en reën daaroor gewaai het, moet hulle versorg word. Om platgeslane blomme aan stutpale vas te bind, om blomme wat hul beste tyd gehad het soms af te sny en soms heeltemal uit te trek—dít is die manier van versorging. Maar meerjarige plante en bome is anders. Wanneer ’n jaar verbygaan, laat die bamboes ’n knoop agter as ’n spoor van sy groei, en gewone bome graveer die rekord van hul lewe in ’n jaarring.
Watter soort rekord het elkeen van ons die afgelope jaar agtergelaat? Daar is gewis skandelike dinge wat ons liewer sou wou uitwis. Soms is die letsels van die wonde wat ons opgedoen het dinge wat ons verkies om nooit weer te onthou nie, tog kom dit skielik weer na vore en steek dit ongevraagd sy kop uit. Daarom wil ons saamstem met die gebed van die psalmdigter: “Moenie dink aan die sondes en oortredings van my jeug nie; dink aan my in u troue liefde, Here, want U is goed” (Psalm 25:7). Nie net in ons jeugdae nie, maar selfs wanneer ons hare grys begin word, verdwyn daardie sondes en oortredings wat ons liewer vergeet wou hê, nooit vanself nie.
Maar hoe dankbaar is ons dat die goedheid van die Here en sy troue guns nie hul oë op ons oortredings en sondes rig nie! Te midde van soveel redes tot dankbaarheid is dit waarvoor ek die dankbaarste is, dat die afgelope jaar ’n jaar was waarin ek “nader aan die Here” beweeg het. Hoe durf ek sê dat ek nader aan Hom gekom het? Dit is omdat die tyd wat ek saam met die Here deurgebring het, baie meer geword het as vroeër. Dit is omdat ek sedert die eerste dag van Mei verlede jaar opnuut moeite gedoen het om gereeld die Bybel volgens die M’Cheyne-Bybelleesplan te lees. Soos u weet, het ek tydens ’n skryfverlof in Wallis, VK, weer die lewe van die prediker Martyn Lloyd-Jones gelees. Alhoewel dit feite was wat ek reeds geken het, het ek myself opnuut met my mentor, Lloyd-Jones, begin vergelyk.
My gewaardeerde leermeester het vanaf sy laat twintigerjare gereeld die Bybel volgens die M’Cheyne-leesplan gelees tot sy heengaan op die ouderdom van een-en-tagtig. Gedurende sy laaste week was hy meestal in ’n koma; selfs wanneer hy af en toe sy bewussyn herwin het, kon hy nie met sy vrou praat nie en slegs deur oogwinkings kommunikeer. Tog, soos getuig is toe sy besittings ná sy heengaan op 1 Maart deurgegaan is, het sy boekmerk presies gelê op die plek wat vir die laaste dag van Februarie bestem was. Daarom het ek besef dat dit baie belangriker is om sy lewe na te volg as om ’n nuwe boek oor hom te skryf, en ek het weer gereeld die Skrif begin lees. Aangesien bepeinsing met behulp van Daaglikse Bybel (Maeil Seongkyeong) en die uittik van my gebede op die sleutelbord reeds ’n gevestigde gewoonte was, het die Woord en gebed ’n deugsame kringloop gevorm wat my hart met ’n nog oorvloediger vreugde vervul het. Wie die Here liefhet, ag die tyd saam met Hom as die kosbaarste van alles. Wanneer u dit doen, sal u daagliks die vreugde smaak om die liefde van God—wat elkeen van julle so kosbaar ag—persoonlik te ervaar.