언젠가부터 그동안 수천 장이나 찍어 두었던 슬라이드 필름을 스캔하기 시작했습니다.사진관에 부탁해서 하자니 한 장에 얼마씩 쳐서 꽤 많은 돈이 들어가야 하고 결국은 웬만한 스캐너를 사서 시작을 했지요. 거의 사십 년 가까이 오래된 슬라이드 프로젝트도 그렇거니와 이제는 디지털 시대라 컴퓨터에 담아 두는 것이 좋겠다 싶어 시작한 일이지요. 그러다가 바쁘기도 하고 도중에 게으름을 피웠는데 슬슬 인생 정리 모드로 들어가는 것이 낫겠다는 생각으로 다시 스캔하고 정리하는 일을 하게 되었습니다.
작년에 한 차례 슬라이드 필름을 정리했지만 아직도 책장에서 자리를 꽤 차지하고 있는 앨범의 사진들을 정리하고 있습니다. 남편 말마따나 자식들이 착하긴 하지만 우리가 가고 나면 이 많은 사진들 물려받고 싶어 하지는 않을 것 같으니 말입니다. 마음 같아서는 10% 정도만 남기면 되겠다 싶었는데 하다 보니 그리 쉽지는 않습니다. 칠십 가까이 살아온 날들이 결코 짧지만은 않은 모양입니다. 물론 영겁에 비하면 정말 찰나에 불과하고 눈 깜짝할 사이에 지나가는 것이 인생이지만 흔적들을 짚어가다 보니 지금까지 우리 좋으신 하나님께서 얼마나 많은 은혜를 베풀어 주시고 걸음걸음 인도하셨는지 감사한 일들이 많기도 합니다.
남편과 저의 어릴 적 사진부터 정리하다 보니 옛 추억들이 다시 생각나기도 했습니다. 어떤 것들은 육십 년도 넘은 사진들이지요. 당시에야 집집마다 카메라를 갖고 있지도 않았고 카메라가 귀한 시절이었으니 사진관에 가서 찍던지 누군가에게 빌려서 찍었을 것 같습니다. 작고 흑백으로 찍었을 뿐만 아니라 색이 바래기도 했고 꺾어지고 찢어진 것들도 있었습니다.
처음 사진은 네 살 때 엄마가 드레스를 만든 기념으로 사진관에 가서 찍은 사진입니다. 원본은 잃어버렸고 다행히 사진관에서 스캔해 둔 것이 남아 있어서 빛이 바래긴 했지만 살릴 수 있었습니다. 동생들 사진을 스캔해서 카카오톡으로 보냈습니다. “우리는 출구 전략으로 사진 정리 중이다.”라는 설명과 함께 말입니다. 그랬더니 큰동생이 답이 왔습니다. “선거했습니까? 웬 출구 전략입니까?” “세상으로부터···”라고 답했더니, “누님 가시면 저도 따라가야 되는데··· 조금만 더 있다 가지요.”
막내는 “우와! 정리분과 위원장 만세! 완전 격동 60년 다큐멘터리!”라고 했습니다. 제가 염려분과 위원장이나 미안분과 위원장인줄 알고 하는 말이지요. 멀리 영국에 있는 여동생은 “아! 이 사진들이 어드메에 숨어 있었지요? 잊고 있었던 친구···”라고 하는가 하면 “와! 울 오메 아배 멋지네요.” 등등 갖가지 반응들을 보내왔습니다.
제가 남아프리카 공화국에 8년 동안 있으면서 한국에 올 수 없어서 동생들 결혼도 못 보고 조카들 태어나는 것도 볼 수가 없었으니 부지런히 사진 뒷면에 설명까지 적어서 보내준 사진들은 특별했습니다. 역시 기록을 남긴다는 것이 얼마나 놀라운지 말입니다. 첫 조카의 백일 사진을 보내며 “누님 조카가 될 자격이 있겠는지요?” “언니, 엄마가 사진 잘 나왔다고, 주름살이 펴졌다고 꼭 보내래.”등의 글들이 있어서 더욱 좋았습니다. 그래저래 천국 가신 부모님 생각도 나고 초등, 중등 친구들 생각도 나고 잘 살고 있는지 궁금해지기도 했습니다. 선교 단체에서 복음 전하며 살겠다고 함께 열심히 예배하고 기도하고 봉사했던 형제자매들 생각도 났습니다. 옛날 얘기를 하는 걸 보니 아무래도 제가 나이를 좀먹은 것 같습니다.
그러다가 동생들이 아예 토요일 날을 잡아 울산으로 오겠다고 합니다. 사진으로 시작한 공동관심사로 인해 오프라인에서 만나야겠다는 것입니다. 그동안도 한 번 오겠다고 벼르긴 했지만 이루어지지 않았던 일입니다. 물론 영국의 여동생은 못 오겠지만 말입니다. 올케들까지 함께 오겠다니 고마운 일입니다. 자기들끼리는 한 번씩 만나는 것 같은데 제가 바쁘다 보니 만난 지가 꽤 되었습니다. 오겠다니 점심시간이라도 내어야 할 것 같습니다. 부모님은 더 이상 계시지 않지만 한 집에서 함께 살았던 옛날 얘기 보따리를 풀어낼 것 같습니다. 아직까지 복음 안에 함께 하지 못한 사람들도 이 만남을 시작으로 땅 위에서 천국으로 이어지는 교제로 나아가길 빕니다.
Some time ago, I began scanning the thousands of slide films we had taken over the years. Having them done at a photo studio would cost quite a bit per slide, so I eventually bought a decent scanner and got to work. With our nearly forty-year-old slide projector growing obsolete, and living in a digital age, it seemed best to store them on a computer. Life got busy, and I put it off for a while, but then I thought it would be wise to gradually enter an "ordering one's life" mode, so I resumed scanning and organizing.
Though I went through a batch of slide films last year, I am now sorting through photo albums that still take up considerable shelf space. As my husband noted, our children are kind, but once we are gone, they likely will not wish to inherit this mountain of photographs. In my heart, I thought keeping around ten percent would suffice, but doing so proved not quite so simple. Living for nearly seventy years has certainly not been a short span. Of course, compared to eternity, it is merely a fleeting moment, gone in the blink of an eye; yet as I trace each footprint, I am overwhelmed by how much grace our good God has poured out, guiding each and every step, leaving so much to be grateful for.
Beginning with childhood photographs of my husband and myself brought old memories flooding back. Some were taken more than sixty years ago. In those days, few households owned a camera; cameras were rare treasures, so people either went to a photo studio or borrowed one from someone. These photographs were small and in black-and-white, some faded, others creased or torn.
The very first picture was taken at a studio when I was four, commemorating a dress my mother had sewn for me. The original print had been lost, but thankfully the studio had preserved a scan, so despite the fading, it could be recovered. I scanned pictures of my siblings and sent them over KakaoTalk, adding the note: "We are sorting our photos as part of our exit strategy." My eldest brother replied: "Did we have an election? What's with an exit strategy?" When I answered, "An exit from this world...", he wrote back: "If you go, big sister, I'll have to follow... Let's stay just a little longer before we go."
My youngest sibling exclaimed: "Wow! Long live the Chairperson of the Organizing Committee! A total documentary of our turbulent sixty years!"—a tease, as they know I usually head up the "Worry Committee" or the "Apology Committee." My younger sister living far away in the UK shared varied reactions: "Oh! Where on earth were these pictures hiding? My long-forgotten friend..." and "Wow! Look how splendid Mother and Father were!"
During my eight years living in South Africa, I could not return to Korea, meaning I missed my siblings' weddings and the births of my nieces and nephews. The photographs they faithfully mailed me, with detailed captions jotted on the back, were truly precious. How wonderful it is to leave records behind. One photo of my first nephew's hundred-day celebration was accompanied by the note, "Do you think he qualifies to be your nephew, sister?" Another read, "Unni, Mother says she looks great here, that her wrinkles are smoothed out, and insisted I send it to you." In all of this, fond thoughts of our parents in heaven arose, as well as memories of elementary and middle school friends, wondering how they are doing. I also remembered the brothers and sisters with whom I once passionately worshipped, prayed, and served in our mission organization to share the Gospel. Talking about old times like this makes me realize I really have aged a bit.
Then my siblings decided to set aside a Saturday to visit Ulsan. What began as a shared interest sparked by old photos has led to an in-person reunion. We had talked about it for a long time, but it had never materialized. My sister in England will not be able to join, of course, but it is wonderful that my sisters-in-law will be coming along as well. While they seem to see each other from time to time, it has been quite a while for me because of my busy schedule. Since they are coming, I must at least clear my lunch schedule. Though our parents are no longer with us, we will unpack a bundle of cherished stories from when we all lived under one roof. I pray that, starting from this gathering, those who have not yet embraced the Gospel may be drawn into a fellowship that bridges life on earth to eternity in heaven.
Iewers langs die pad het ek begin om die duisende skyfiefilms wat ons oor die jare geneem het, in te skandeer. Om dit by 'n fotowinkel te laat doen sou 'n stewige bedrag per foto kos, so ek het uiteindelik 'n ordentlike skandeerder gekoop en self begin. Ons byna veertig jaar oue skyfieprojektor het oud geword, en in hierdie digitale era het dit gelyk of dit die beste sou wees om dit op 'n rekenaar te bewaar. Die lewe het besig geraak en ek het 'n ruk lank traag geword, maar toe het ek besef dat dit wys sou wees om stelselmatig my lewe in orde te begin bring, en so het ek weer begin skandeer en regpak.
Hoewel ek verlede jaar al 'n deel van die skyfies gesorteer het, is ek tans besig met die foto-albums wat steeds baie plek op die boekrakke opneem. Soos my man tereg gesê het: ons kinders is wel dierbaar, maar as ons eers weg is, sal hulle sekerlik nie hierdie magdom foto's wil erf nie. In my hart het ek gedink dat dit genoeg sou wees om sowat tien persent te hou, maar om dit te doen was nie so maklik nie. 'n Lewensreis van byna sewentig jaar is immers glad nie so kort nie. Teenoor die ewigheid is dit natuurlik net 'n oogwink wat verbyvlieg, maar soos ek die spore nagaan, word ek herinner aan hoeveel genade ons goeie God bewys het en hoe Hy elke tree gelei het—daar is soveel om voor dankbaar te wees.
Toe ek begin het met die kinderfoto's van my en my man, het ou herinneringe weer helder opgekom. Sommige van daardie foto's is meer as sestig jaar oud. In daardie dae het min gesinne 'n kamera besit; kameras was skaars, so 'n mens moes fotowinkel toe gaan of een by iemand leen. Hulle was klein, swart-en-wit, en baie van hulle het verbleik, gekreukel of geskeur geraak.
Die heel eerste foto is geneem toe ek vier jaar oud was, ter herdenking van 'n rokkie wat my ma vir my gemaak het. Die oorspronklike afdruk het verlore gegaan, maar gelukkig het die fotowinkel 'n geskandeerde weergawe bewaar, sodat dit, al het dit verbleik, herstel kon word. Ek het foto's van my broers en susters geskandeer en via KakaoTalk gestuur met die boodskap: "Ons is besig om foto's te sorteer as deel van ons uitgangstrategie." My oudste broer het geantwoord: "Was daar 'n verkiesing? Van waar die uitgangstrategie dan?" Toe ek sê: "'n Uitgang uit hierdie wêreld...", het hy geantwoord: "As ouboet se suster gaan, moet ek saamgaan... kom ons bly nog net 'n bietjie langer voor ons gaan."
My jongste boetie het uitgeroep: "Sjoe! Lank lewe die Voorsitter van die Reëlingskomitee! 'n Hele dokumentêr van ons onstuimige sestig jaar!"—hy terg natuurlik, want hy beskou my gewoonlik as die voorsitter van die 'Komitee van Bekommernis' of die 'Komitee van Jammerte'. My suster wat ver weg in die Verenigde Koninkryk woon, het verskillende reaksies gestuur: "Aai! Waar het hierdie foto's al die tyd weggekruip? Daardie vergete vriendin..." en "Kyk net hoe deftig lyk ons pa en ma!"
Tydens die agt jaar wat ek in Suid-Afrika gewoon het, kon ek nie na Korea terugkeer nie, wat beteken het dat ek my sibbes se troues en die geboortes van my nefies en niggies misgeloop het. Die foto's wat hulle getrou gestuur het, met noukeurige verduidelikings agterop geskryf, was daarom besonder kosbaar. Dit bly wonderlik om sulke rekords te bewaar. By 'n foto van my eerste nefie se honderddagviering het gestaan: "Dink Ousus hy kwalifiseer om jou nefie te wees?" en 'n ander het geskryf: "Ousus, Ma sê sy lyk so mooi hier—haar plooie het glo weggetrek—en sy het aangedring dat ek dit stuur." Deur dit alles het ek gedink aan ons ouers wat reeds in die hemel is, aan vriende van laerskool en hoërskool, en ek het gewonder hoe dit met hulle gaan. Ek het ook gedink aan die broers en susters saam met wie ek eens met toewyding aanbid, gebid en gedien het in sendingwerk om die Evangelie te verkondig. Noudat ek so oor die verlede praat, besef ek dat ek sekerlik al 'n bietjie ouer geword het.
En nou het my broers en susters besluit om 'n Saterdag uit te kies en na Ulsan te kom. Wat as 'n gedeelde belangstelling oor ou foto's begin het, het gelei tot 'n behoefte om mekaar van aangesig tot aangesig te sien. Ons het al so lank beplan om mekaar te ontmoet, maar dit het nooit gebeur nie. My suster in Engeland sal natuurlik nie kan kom nie, maar dit is wonderlik dat my skoonsusters ook saamkom. Dit klink asof hulle mekaar af en toe sien, maar vanweë my besige skedule is dit al lank sedert ek hulle gesien het. Noudat hulle kom, moet ek ten minste tyd maak vir 'n middagete. Hoewel ons ouers nie meer daar is nie, sal ons 'n hele sak vol herinneringe kan oopmaak uit die dae toe ons almal onder een dak gewoon het. Ek bid dat hierdie ontmoeting 'n begin sal wees waardeur selfs diegene wat nog nie die Evangelie omhels het nie, gelei mag word na 'n gemeenskap wat van hierdie aarde tot in die hemel strek.