교역자 퇴수회를 다녀왔습니다.‘퇴수 -후퇴하여 지킴’이란 한자어가 가장 비슷한 의미일 것입니다만 우리는 “너희는 따로 한적한 곳에 가서 잠깐 쉬어라”(마가복음 6:31)는 주님의 음성을 떠올립니다. 바쁜 사역의 자리에서 잠깐 물러나 쉬면서 생각을 가다듬고, 다음 사역을 위한 충전의 기간으로 갖습니다. 이번에는 2년마다 한 번씩 갖는, 사모님들과 함께하는 모임이었습니다. 아기들을 키우는 사모님들이 따라 나선다는 것은 정말 힘든 일이긴 했습니다. 서울이나 부산에, 멀리 계신 친정이나 시댁에 아이를 맡기기도 하고 그것도 힘들면 이웃 집사님 댁에 맡기기도 합니다. 갓난아기를 가진 사모님들은 이도 저도 힘드니, 도저히 따라 나설 수가 없지요. 이번에도 몇 분 사모님들은 함께 할 수 없었습니다.
이번 퇴수회는 세 예배당의 교역자분들이 함께 하는 마지막 퇴수회였습니다. 연말이면 매곡, 신정 예배당이 완전히 분립되기 때문입니다. 모처럼 육아전쟁에서 자유로워진 사모님들이 참 행복해 하는 모습에 덩달아 기뻤습니다. 뿐만 아니라 평소에 눈코 뜰 새 없이 바쁘신 목사님들 역시 동역자들과 그리고 아내와 함께 하는 시간들을 즐거워하셨습니다. 틈만 나면 카페든 숙소든 어디든 모여서 회의를 하느라 여전히 일에서 벗어나 쉰다고 하기보다는 일을 싸가지고 온 것처럼 바쁘기도 했습니다. 특별히 분립하는 일과, 내년 사역을 두고 여러 차례 모임을 가졌습니다. 그러면 우리는 사모님들끼리 교제하는 재미도 누렸습니다. 벌써 분립 뿐만 아니라 헤어지는 사모님들 얘기가 나온 터라 섭섭해서 울다가도 서로를 바라보며 좋아서 웃기도 하면서 말입니다.
첫날 저녁에는 두 분 사모님들의 라이프 스토리를 들었습니다. 힘들었던 지난 시절의 이야기며 하나님의 말씀 가운데 회복의 은혜를 나누는 시간들이었습니다. 우리 모두가 그렇지만 그 분의 은혜가 아니었다면 우리 가운데 아무도 복된 삶을 누리지 못했을 것입니다. 둘째 날 밤에는 분립을 앞두고 여러 의논들을 하고 마지막 날 밤에는 수요기도회로 모였습니다. 우리 교회와 다음 세대와 말씀사역을 위해 기도하고 우리 가운데 연말이면 떠나게 되는 지체들을 위해 눈물로 기도하는 시간은 성령님께서 함께 하시는 아름다운 시간이었습니다.
마지막으로 퇴수회 소감을 한 마디씩 나누었습니다. 저희 교회에 오신 지 얼마 안 된 분들은 이런 교역자들의 모임에서 문화 충격(?)을 느꼈노라고, 지위나 직책에 상관없이 서로 사랑하며, 교회와 사역을 위해 기도하는 공동체가 있다는 것이 참으로 위로가 되었노라고 했습니다. 사모님들 가운데는 남편이 왜 매일같이 그렇게 바쁜지, 사역이 얼마나 귀하고 한편으로 힘든 일인지, 그리고 이런 퇴수회가 왜 필요한지 알 것 같다며 남편을 더 이해할 수 있겠다고도 했습니다.
우리끼리의 나눔이었지만 모든 분들과 함께 나누고 싶은 얘기들이 많았습니다. “참 평안하고 기쁨이 넘치는 퇴수회였습니다. 영적으로나 육적으로 회복되는 시간이었습니다. ···너무 좋은 목사님들을 만나 감사했습니다. ···사모님들과도 좋은 추억을 갖게 되어서 기쁩니다.” “분립을 준비해왔는데, 처음 생각보다 더 아름답게 열매 맺혀서 감사합니다. 헤어질 걸 생각하면 섭섭하지만, 이제는 하나님께서 허락하시는 때가 된 것 같다는 생각이 들었습니다.”
“철이 철을 날카롭게 하듯이 동역자들을 서로 빛나게 하는 존재들이 되기를 바랍니다. ··· 여러 사역자들 이야기를 듣고, 분립 이야기를 나누면서 참 좋은 교회라는 생각을 하게 되었고 저도 너무나 행복하고 기쁜 사역의 길을 가고 있다는 생각이 듭니다.” “사모가 행복한 교회라서 다시 한 번 건강한 교회라는 생각을 하게 되었고, 하나님께서 부르신 이 교회에서, 부르심을 받은 사람들과 함께해서 감사했습니다.”
“사모님들도 잘 알게 되어서 기쁩니다. 부부들끼리 참 잘 어울리고, 없으면 안되는 사람들이라는 생각이 듭니다.” “교역자들끼리 이렇게 모여 있는 것을 보면서 교역자 모임에 ‘하나님의 나라가 임하면 이런 모습이겠구나.’라는 생각을 하게 되었습니다.” “저도 이런 모습을 잘 담아서 흘려 보내야겠다는 다짐을 했습니다.” “한 사람, 한 사람을 통해서 하나님의 사랑을 깨닫는 시간이었습니다.” “울산교회에 와서 부부가 함께 성장할 수 있어서 너무나 감사했습니다. 이제 다른 곳으로 가지만 파송 받는 마음으로 가서도 열심히 하겠습니다.”
나눔의 시간 내내 나를 비롯한 울보들 때문에 티슈통이 여기 저기로 옮겨 다녀야 했지만 이런 좋은 모임을 가질 수 있도록 배려해주신 성도님들께 참으로 감사를 드립니다.
We recently returned from our pastoral staff retreat. While the Sino-Korean term for retreat (toesu—stepping back to hold and preserve) perhaps conveys the closest literal meaning, what immediately comes to our minds is the gentle voice of the Lord: "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest" (Mark 6:31). We step back for a brief season from the demands of busy ministry to rest, collect our thoughts, and recharge for the work ahead. This particular gathering was our biennial couples' retreat, where the pastors were joined by their wives. It was certainly no small feat for pastors' wives with young children to join. Some left their little ones with parents or in-laws far away in Seoul or Busan, while others, unable to do so, entrusted their children to neighbor deacons. For those caring for newborn infants, it was simply impossible either way, and sadly, a few could not make the trip this time.
This retreat marked the final gathering where pastoral staff from all three of our worship campuses came together, as our Maegok and Shinjeong campuses are scheduled to be fully independent by the end of the year. Seeing the pastors' wives look so radiant, temporarily relieved from the daily battle of childcare, brought immense joy to my own heart as well. Moreover, the pastors—who are ordinarily busy beyond measure—delighted in spending unhurried time with their fellow laborers and their wives. Yet, whenever there was a spare moment, whether in a cafe or in the lodgings, they would gather for meetings; rather than leaving work behind to rest, it almost felt as though they had packed their work along with them. In particular, they held multiple meetings regarding the upcoming church planting division and next year's ministry plans. Meanwhile, we wives enjoyed the sweet fellowship among ourselves. With conversations already turning toward the upcoming separation and saying goodbye, tears of sorrow would suddenly give way to joyful laughter just looking at one another.
On the first evening, we listened to the life stories of two pastors' wives. They shared about difficult past seasons and the grace of restoration found in God's Word. As is true for all of us, without His grace, not one of us could enjoy the blessed life we have today. On the second night, we discussed various matters ahead of the church division, and on the final evening, we gathered for a Wednesday prayer meeting. Praying for our church, the next generation, and the ministry of the Word, and interceding with tears for those dear members who will be departing at the end of the year, made it a truly beautiful time filled with the Holy Spirit's presence.
At the close of the retreat, each person shared a brief reflection. Those who had recently joined our church remarked that they felt a refreshing "culture shock" from this pastoral gathering, sharing how deeply comforting it was to see a community that loves one another regardless of title or rank, praying together for the church and its ministry. Some of the wives shared that they now understood better why their husbands were so tirelessly busy every single day, just how precious and challenging pastoral ministry truly is, and why a retreat like this is so essential, saying they could now empathize with their husbands on a much deeper level.
Though it was an intimate time of sharing among ourselves, there were so many heartfelt reflections worth sharing with everyone:
"It was a retreat filled with true peace and overflowing joy. It was a time of both spiritual and physical restoration. ... I am so thankful to have met such wonderful pastors. ... I am also delighted to have made such precious memories with the wives."
"We have been preparing for this church division, and I am grateful that it is bearing fruit far more beautifully than we initially imagined. The thought of parting brings sadness, yet I feel God's appointed time has truly arrived."
"Just as iron sharpens iron, I hope we become companions who make each other shine brighter. ... Listening to the stories of fellow ministers and discussing the upcoming separation, I realized what a truly wonderful church this is, and I feel so happy and blessed to walk this path of ministry."
"Seeing that this is a church where pastors' wives are genuinely happy reminded me once again that it is a healthy church. I am so grateful to be here in this church where God has called us, serving alongside fellow laborers who share that same calling."
"I am so glad to have gotten to know the wives better. The couples harmonize so beautifully, and each person feels truly indispensable."
"Watching the pastoral staff gathered together like this made me think, 'If the Kingdom of God were to descend upon a gathering of ministers, it would look just like this.'"
"I resolved in my heart to cherish this beautiful grace and let it overflow to others."
"It was a time of realizing God's deep love through each and every person."
"I am so profoundly grateful that, since coming to Ulsan Church, we as a couple have been able to grow together. Though we are now heading to a new place, we will go with the heart of being sent out and serve faithfully."
Throughout our sharing time, the tissue box had to be passed around constantly because of crybabies like myself. Even so, we offer our heartfelt gratitude to the congregation whose generous care and consideration made such a blessed retreat possible.
Ons het onlangs teruggekeer van ons bedieningspersoneel se wegbreek. Alhoewel die Chinese leenwoord vir wegbreek (toesu—om terug te tree en te bewaar) dalk die naaste aan die letterlike betekenis kom, dink ons eerder aan die Here se tere stem: "Kom julle self alleen saam na 'n verlate plek en rus 'n bietjie" (Markus 6:31). 'n Mens tree vir 'n kort wyle terug uit die veeleisende bediening om te rus, jou gedagtes te orden, en krag te herwin vir die take wat voorlê. Hierdie keer was dit ons tweejaarlikse byeenkoms saam met die predikantsvroue. Dit was gewis geen geringe taak vir die vroue met klein kindertjies om saam te kom nie. Party moes hul kinders by hul ouers of skoonouers ver weg in Seoel of Busan agterlaat, en as dit nie moontlik was nie, by diakens in die buurt. Vir die ma's met pasgebore babas was nóg die een nóg die ander moontlik, sodat 'n paar vroue ongelukkig hierdie keer nie kon saamgaan nie.
Hierdie wegbreek was die laaste een waar die bedienaars van al drie ons aanbiddingsentra saam kon wees, aangesien die Maegok- en Shinjeong-kampusse teen die einde van die jaar heeltemal selfstandig word. Om die predikantsvroue so gelukkig te sien terwyl hulle vir 'n slag verlos was van die daaglikse stryd van kinders grootmaak, het my hart met net soveel vreugde gevul. Boonop het die predikante—wat gewoonlik nie eens tyd het om asem te skep nie—dit terdeë geniet om tyd saam met hul medewerkers en hul eggenotes deur te bring. Tog, sodra daar 'n vrye oomblik was, hetsy in 'n koffiewinkel of in die herberg, het hulle bymekaargekom om te vergader; pleks daarvan om van die werk af weg te breek en te rus, het dit amper gelyk asof hulle die werk saamgebring het. Hulle het veral verskeie kere vergader oor die komende kerklike verdeling en die beplanning vir volgende jaar se bediening. Intussen het ons as predikantsvroue die heerlike samesyn onder mekaar geniet. Aangesien daar reeds gepraat is oor die skeiding en die vroue wat sou vertrek, het die trane van hartseer meermale gevloei, net om die volgende oomblik weer in blye gelag te verander terwyl ons na mekaar kyk.
Op die eerste aand het ons na die lewensverhale van twee van die predikantsvroue geluister. Hulle het vertel van moeilike tye in die verlede en getuig van die genade van herstel deur God se Woord. Soos vir ons almal geld: sonder Sy genade sou niemand van ons vandag so 'n geseënde lewe kon lei nie. Op die tweede aand het ons verskeie sake met die oog op die verdeling bespreek, en op die laaste aand het ons saamgekom vir 'n Woensdagaand-biduur. Om te bid vir ons gemeente, die volgende geslag en die bediening van die Woord, en om met trane te pleit vir die medegelowiges wat ons aan die einde van die jaar gaan verlaat, was 'n kosbare en geseënde tyd in die teenwoordigheid van die Heilige Gees.
Ten slotte het elkeen 'n kort gedagte oor die wegbreek gedeel. Diegene wat onlangs by ons gemeente aangesluit het, het genoem dat hulle 'n soort "kultuurskok" tydens hierdie leraarsbyeenkoms ervaar het—hoe vertroostend dit was om 'n gemeenskap te beleef waar mense mekaar liefhet ongeag posisie of rang, en saam bid vir die gemeente en die bediening. Van die predikantsvroue het gesê hulle verstaan nou beter waarom hul mans elke dag so vreeslik besig is, hoe kosbaar dog veeleisend die bediening werklik is, en waarom so 'n wegbreek noodsaaklik is, en dat hulle hul mans nou met veel meer deernis kan bystaan.
Al was dit 'n intieme oomblik onder mekaar, was daar soveel getuienisse wat 'n mens met almal sou wou deel:
"Dit was 'n wegbreek gevul met ware vrede en oorvloedige vreugde. Dit was 'n tyd van geestelike sowel as fisieke herstel. ... Ek is so dankbaar vir sulke wonderlike leraars. ... Dit was ook heerlik om sulke kosbare herinneringe saam met die predikantsvroue op te bou."
"Ons het ons voorberei op die afstigting, en ek is so dankbaar dat dit mooier vrugte afwerp as wat ons ooit kon dink. Die gedagte aan afskeid maak 'n mens hartseer, maar ek voel die tyd wat die Here beskik het, het nou aangebreek."
"Soos yster yster slyp, hoop ek dat ons mekaar as medewerkers sal laat skitter. ... Deur na die verhale van verskillende leraars te luister en oor die afstigting te praat, het ek opnuut besef wat 'n wonderlike gemeente dit is, en ek voel geseënd om hierdie vreugdevolle pad van bediening te bewandel."
"Omdat dit 'n gemeente is waar die predikantsvroue gelukkig is, het ek weer besef dit is 'n gesonde gemeente. Ek is so dankbaar om in hierdie gemeente waar God ons geroep het, saam met mede-geroepenes te mag dien."
"Ek is so bly ek kon die vroue beter leer ken. Die egpare pas so mooi bymekaar, en elkeen voel werklik onvervangbaar."
"Toe ek die bedienaars so bymekaar sien, het ek gedink: 'As God se koninkryk neerdaal op 'n byeenkoms van ampsdraers, sou dit net so lyk.'"
"Ek het my voorgeneem om hierdie mooi gesindheid in my hart te bewaar en dit aan ander oor te dra."
"Dit was 'n tyd waarin ek God se liefde deur elkeen van julle kon tasbaar ervaar."
"Ek is so innig dankbaar dat ons as egpaar kon groei sedert ons na Ulsan Gemeente gekom het. Al gaan ons nou na 'n ander plek, sal ons met 'n hart van uitstuur gaan en ons bes bly doen."
Deur die loop van die deeltyd moes die sneesdoekieboksie aanhoudend van hand tot hand gaan weens al die huilbekke soos ek, maar ons wil die lidmate innig bedank wie se liefdevolle bedagsaamheid so 'n wonderlike byeenkoms moontlik gemaak het.