방학을 맞이한 에스라 교정은 이른 아침부터 새들의 노래소리로 채워져 있습니다. 아름다운 연못 한켠에 자리잡아 둥지를 틀고 아홉개의 알을 낳은 곳에는 이제 껍질만 남았습니다. 처음으로 알을 발견한 날이 6월 3일(목)이었고 빈 껍질만 남기고 사라진 날은 7월 1일(목)이니 정확하게 4주간 28일만에 모두 부화를 해서 소리소문 없이 사라졌습니다. 학생들이 알을 품고 있는 오리를 보겠다고 관심을 보일까봐 2중 3중으로 위험라인을 치고 돌봤는데 감사의 쪽지도 남기지 않고 사라졌다는 사실을 아는 순간 엄마오리로부터 먹튀당한 것 같은 기분이었습니다.
하지만 잘 생각해 보면 엄마오리는 나에게 많은 것을 가르쳐 주었습니다. 그 4주간을 참을성 있게 아홉개의 알을 품고 앉아있다는 사실, 가끔씩은 몸을 돌려앉기도 하고, 자세를 바꾸기도 했지만, 알만 버려둔 순간을 거의 보지 못했습니다. 처음에는 어떻게 먹지 않고 견딜 수 있을까 무척 궁금했습니다. 아빠 오리가 배달해 주는 것도 본 적이 없으니까요. 4주가 가까왔을 때 이른 아침에 엄마 오리가 자리를 비워둔 것을 한 두 번 발견했는데 그 때도 보금자리 재료를 가지고 살짝 덮어두는 그 지혜를 발견하고 놀랐습니다. 그래서 품는다는 것이 무엇인가를 골똘히 생각해 보는 기간이었습니다. 어미 오리가 알을 품고 4주간을 버틴 것은 아무래도 본능적인 사랑 때문이었을 것입니다.
창세기 1장 2절에는 이런 구절이 있습니다. “땅이 혼돈하고 공허하며 흑암이 깊음 위에 있고 하나님의 영은 수면 위에 운행하시니라”(개역개정) “땅은 형체가 갖추어지지 않고 텅 비었으며, 어둠이 깊음 위에 있고, 하나님의 영은 수면 위에 감돌고 있었다.”(바른성경) ‘운행하다’는 말은 ‘품다’는 말이라고 누군가가 설명했던 것을 기억합니다. 바로 오리 어미가 4주간 동안 했던 그 일입니다. 그 결과 혼돈, 공허, 흑암의 세상이 질서, 충만 빛의 세상으로 변했습니다. 카오스의 세상이 코스모스의 세상으로 태어나는데는 하나님의 성령께서 혼돈, 공허, 흑암을 품어 주셨기 때문입니다.
우리가 사는 세상도 코스모스의 아름다움은 일그러지고, 카오스의 혼돈, 공허, 흑암이 넘실대고 있습니다. 때로는 우리의 직장도, 아니 우리의 가정까지, 심지어는 우리의 마음 깊은 곳까지 카오스의 혼돈, 공허, 흑암이 찾아올 때도 있습니다. 코로나로 인해서 두려움에 사로잡혀서 상대방에 대한 배려나 친절은 찾아보기 어렵습니다. 태초의 무질서에 자신을 내어주며 공포속에 기겁한 채로 소일해야 할까요? 십자가 위에 자신을 내어주는 그 사랑이 있으면 관계는 가꾸어질 수 있습니다. “유월절 전에 예수께서 자기가 세상을 떠나 아버지께로 돌아가실 때가 이른 줄 아시고 세상에 있는 자기 사람들을 사랑하시되 끝까지 사랑하시니라”(요 13:1) 놀라운 그 은혜로 인해서 오늘 우리는 이마나 손에 짐승의 인을 받지 아니하고 사람답게 살아가는 영역에 살고 있습니다. 놀라운 십자가의 그 은혜를 받은 자는 자기를 내어준 사랑의 주님을 뒤따라, 껍질을 깨고 새로운 생명이 약동하기를 기다려야 합니다.
Now that vacation has arrived, the Ezra campus is filled with the sweet chorus of birds from early dawn. Beside a lovely pond, where a mother duck had built her nest and laid nine eggs, only empty shells now remain. The day I first discovered the eggs was Thursday, June 3, and the day they disappeared, leaving behind only vacant shells, was Thursday, July 1. In exactly four weeks—twenty-eight days—every single egg hatched, and they slipped quietly away without a trace. Worried that curious students might disturb the brooding duck, we had set up double and triple warning lines to protect her. Yet the moment I realized they had departed without leaving even a little thank-you note, I felt almost comically deserted by that mother duck.
Yet on second thought, that mother duck taught me so much. For four whole weeks, she sat with steadfast patience, brooding over those nine eggs. Occasionally she would shift her weight or adjust her posture, but scarcely ever did I see her leave the eggs untended. At first, I wondered how she could endure without eating, for I never once saw a father duck deliver any food. As the four weeks drew to an end, I noticed once or twice in the early morning that she had briefly stepped away, but even then, I was amazed by her wisdom in gently covering the nest with surrounding materials. It was a time that led me to ponder deeply what it truly means to brood—to tenderly embrace. That mother duck's perseverance over four weeks was, after all, born of instinctual love.
Genesis 1:2 contains this passage: "The earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." I recall someone once explaining that this word "hovering" carries the meaning of "brooding over" or "embracing." That is precisely what the mother duck did for four weeks. As a result, a world of chaos, emptiness, and darkness was transformed into a realm of order, fullness, and light. That the world of chaos was reborn as a cosmos was because the Holy Spirit of God embraced and brooded over the chaos, emptiness, and darkness.
In the world we inhabit today, the radiant beauty of the cosmos is often distorted, and the chaos, emptiness, and darkness of disorder seem to surge all around us. At times, such darkness encroaches upon our workplaces, our homes, and even the deepest recesses of our hearts. Paralyzed by fear in the wake of the pandemic, consideration and kindness toward others have grown scarce. Are we simply to surrender ourselves to primeval disorder and spend our days paralyzed in terror? If only the self-giving love displayed upon the Cross is present, relationships can be nurtured and restored. "It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end" (John 13:1). By that astonishing grace, we live today in a realm where we do not bear the mark of the beast on our foreheads or hands, but are enabled to live with true human dignity. Those who have received the wondrous grace of the Cross must follow the Lord of self-sacrificing love, patiently waiting until the shell breaks and new life springs forth.
Met die aanbreek van die vakansie is die kampus van Ezra van vroegoggend af gevul met die vrolike gesang van voëls. Aan die soom van 'n pragtige dam waar 'n eend nesgemaak en nege eiers gelê het, het daar nou net leë doppe oorgebly. Die dag toe ek die eiers die eerste keer opgemerk het, was Donderdag 3 Junie, en die dag toe hulle spoorloos verdwyn het en slegs leë doppe agtergelaat het, was Donderdag 1 Julie. Presies vier weke—agt-en-twintig dae—het dit geneem vir almal om uit te broei en stilletjies te vertrek. Omdat ons bang was dat nuuskierige studente die broeiende eend sou pla, het ons twee- en drievoudige waarskuwingslyne gespan om haar te beskerm. Toe ek besef dat hulle sonder selfs 'n klein dankie-briefie verdwyn het, het ek vir 'n oomblik gevoel asof die moedereend my sommer net in die steek gelaat het.
Maar as 'n mens mooi daaroor nadink, het daardie moedereend my baie geleer. Sy het daardie vier weke lank met onbeperkte geduld op die nege eiers gesit en broei. Soms het sy omgedraai of haar liggaamshouding aangepas, maar ek het haar feitlik nooit gesien waar sy die eiers net so agterlaat nie. Aanvanklik het ek gewonder hoe sy dit kon uithou sonder om te eet, want ek het nooit gesien dat die vadereend kos aandra nie. Toe die vier weke byna verby was, het ek vroegoggend 'n keer of twee gesien dat sy die nes verlaat het, maar selfs toe was ek verstom oor haar wysheid om die eiers sagkens met nesmateriaal toe te maak. Dit was 'n tyd waarin ek diep nagedink het oor wat dit werklik beteken om te koester en te beskerm. Dat die moedereend vier weke lank volgehou het, was sekerlik danksy 'n instinktiewe, diepe liefde.
In Genesis 1:2 staan daar geskrywe: "Die aarde was woes en leeg, en donkerte was op die wêreldvloed, en die Gees van God het gesweef oor die waters." Ek onthou dat iemand eendag verduidelik het dat die woord 'sweef' ook beteken om te 'broei' of te 'koester'. Dit is presies wat daardie moedereend vir vier weke lank gedoen het. As gevolg daarvan is 'n wêreld van chaos, leegheid en duisternis omskep in 'n wêreld van orde, volheid en lig. Dat die wêreld van chaos as 'n kosmos herbore kon word, was omdat God se Heilige Gees die chaos, leegheid en duisternis met liefde omhels en gekoester het.
In die wêreld waarin ons vandag leef, is die skoonheid van die kosmos dikwels verwronge, en die chaos, leegheid en duisternis spoel oor ons heen. Soms vind hierdie wanorde sy weg na ons werksplekke, selfs na ons gesinne, en tot in die diepste hoekies van ons harte. Vasgevang in vrees weens die pandemie, is bedagsaamheid en vriendelikheid teenoor mekaar deesdae skaars. Moet ons ons maar net oorgee aan die oer-wanorde en ons dae in vreesbevange paniek deurbring? As daar die selfopofferende liefde van die Kruis is, kan verhoudings weer gekoester en herstel word. "En voor die fees van die pasga, toe Jesus wis dat sy uur gekom het dat Hy uit hierdie wêreld sou oorgaan na die Vader, het Hy sy eie mense wat in die wêreld was, liefgehad tot die einde toe" (Johannes 13:1). Deur daardie wonderbaarlike genade leef ons vandag in 'n ruimte waar ons nie die merk van die dier op ons voorkoppe of hande dra nie, maar waarlik menswaardig kan lewe. Wie daardie wonderlike genade van die Kruis ontvang het, moet die Here van opofferende liefde navolg en met geduld wag totdat die dop breek en nuwe lewe kragtig ontwaak.