돈 때문에 마음이 아팠던 경우는 수없이 많았지만 목회할 때 한 번, 은퇴 후에 또 한 번의 경우는 쉽게 기억에서 지워지지 않습니다. 첫 번째는 좋은 직장에서 은퇴를 하면서 퇴직금 전부를 몰빵 투자해서 빈털털이가 된 은퇴자 경우입니다. 또 다른 경우는 젊은 직장인이 대박을 터뜨리길 바라고 모든 자금을 끌어넣어서 자신뿐 아니라 부모형제 모두를 경제적인 곤경에 빠뜨리는, 불랙홀처럼 모든 것을 삼키고도 답이 쉽게 보이지 않는 캄캄한 터널을 통과하는 경우입니다. 그런 경우 무엇을 기도해야 할지는 답이 쉽게 나오지 않습니다. 특별히 목사로 재직하는 동안 매주 설교를 했지만 어떻게 살아야 할 것인지를 제대로 설교하지 못한 자책이 큽니다. 삶은 ‘하나님이냐 돈이냐’를 선택하는 것이라고 전하고 당연히 하나님을 섬겨야 한다고는 설교했지만, 돈의 유혹이 얼마나 큰지, 그 유혹에 왜, 어떻게 빠져드는지 또한 빠졌을 때 어떻게 벗어나야 하는지는 치열하게 설교하지 못했다는 느낌이 들어, 직무유기한 것을 반성합니다.
주님은 여러 차례 돈의 유혹에 빠져드는 두 가지 중요한 이유를 밝히 말씀해 주셨습니다. 산상보훈의 가르침을 비롯해서, 특히 누가의 기록에는 “이생의 염려와 재물과 향락.”(눅8:14) “방탕함과 술취함과 세상살이의 걱정”(눅 21:34)때문이라고 명시합니다. 돈의 유혹에 빠져드는 첫째 이유는 먹고 사는 문제가 우리를 지배하기 때문입니다. 가난한 사람들이 주로 빠져듭니다. 하지만 특히 이 시대는 빈부나 신불신을 막론하고 모두가 다 일을 해서, 아니 돈을 벌어야만 먹고 산다는 생각에 지배당하고 있습니다. 광야의 이스라엘에게 날마다 내린 만나처럼, 날마다 하나님이 주시고 달마다 하나님이 공급하신다는 신앙이 더 이상 남아있지 않기 때문입니다. 물론 열심히 일하고 직장을 다녀야 하지만 그것이 경제적인 문제에서 우리를 자유케 하는 것이 아니라, 전능하신 하나님께서 오늘 우리의 광야여정에 날마다 만나로 먹이신다는 믿음을 회복하는 것이 경제적인 자유를 얻는 첫 걸음인 것을 오늘을 사는 믿음의 자녀들이 깨닫기를 바랄뿐입니다.
돈의 유혹에 빠져드는 두 번째 이유는 삶의 풍요로움이 가져다주는 여러 가지 편리함과 화려함 때문입니다. 돈이 있으면 여러 가지 편리함을 누릴 수 있고 공작의 화려한 날개처럼 한껏 펼칠 수 있기 때문입니다 어떤 편리함이 있을까요? 겉으로만 보면 삶의 모든 영역, 의식주 생활이 달라질 것입니다. 우선 입고 다니는 옷이, 사먹는 음식이, 사는 집이 크기가 다르고 채운 가구가 달라질 것입니다. 그 뿐이겠습니까? 굴리는 승용차가 다르고, 자가용 비행기까지는 아니더라도, 항공 여행을 해도 좌석 등급이 다를 것입니다. 등급이 달라지면 물론 모든 대우가 달라집니다. 예전의 가난한 사람들은 먹고 살기에 바빠서 아들 초등학교 졸업식에도 못갔지만, 요즈음은 여유가 있으면 딸 대학졸업식에 온가족이 비행기로 날아가서 참석할 수도 있습니다. 휴가철에 여행을 가도 가진 사람과 갖지 못한 사람은 스케일도 다르고 내용도 틀립니다. 그러나 어디를 가느냐보다 중요한 것은 누구와 같이 가느냐라는 것은 누구나 다 알고 있지만 적용하지 않고 살아갑니다.
직장과 연봉이 달라지면 생활수준이 달라진다고 우리는 믿고 삽니다. 그런 면도 분명히 있습니다. 그러나 그보다 더 중요한, 수입에 따라 달라지지 않는 측면도 있습니다. 쉽게 드러나지 않으니 사람들은 잘 모릅니다. 물론 잘 관찰하면 표정을 통해서 내면을 볼 수도 있습니다. 마음이 기쁘면 얼굴이 빛나고 한숨대신 콧노래가 나오고 입을 열면 불평대신 감사가 나옵니다. 그런 삶을 살기 위해서는 쉬지 말고 기도해야 하지만 그보다는 쉬운 길을 택합니다. 그래서 행복한 척 꾸미고 인스타에 올려서 자랑을 합니다. 화장을 하고 치장을 하고 명품을 들고 과시하려 합니다. 하지만 누구와 함께 어떤 마음으로 걷는지, 관계가 더 중요합니다. 대주재께서 풍족하게 주셨으면, 이웃을 돌아보고, 주신 것을 누리며 감사하면 되고, 핍절하다고 해서, 공작의 화려한 날개 펼침을 시도해 보려고 돈을 쫓아 영혼을 팔아넘기는 악마와의 밀당에 참여하는 것은 믿음의 자녀답지 못합니다. 사도는 권고합니다. “우리가 먹을 것과 입을 것이 있은즉 족한 줄로 알것이니라”(딤전 6:8)
Though there have been countless times when money caused deep heartache, two instances—one during my active pastoral ministry and another after retirement—remain indelible in my memory. The first involved a retiree who, upon concluding a respectable career, invested his entire severance pay into a single venture and ended up penniless. The second involved a young professional who, hoping to hit the jackpot, poured in every resource he could muster, thereby dragging not only himself but his parents and siblings into severe financial distress—passing through a dark tunnel where everything was swallowed up like a black hole, with no resolution in sight. In such moments, finding the right words to pray is never easy. Looking back on my years as a pastor, though I preached every Sunday, I carry a profound sense of self-reproach for failing to preach adequately on how to live. I consistently proclaimed that life is a matter of choosing between 'God or Money,' and that we must naturally serve God; yet, I feel I failed to address with genuine urgency how potent the temptation of money truly is, why and how people fall into it, and how one might escape once ensnared. For this, I reflect with regret on what feels like a dereliction of pastoral duty.
Our Lord clearly stated on several occasions the two primary reasons why people fall prey to the temptation of wealth. Beyond the teachings of the Sermon on the Mount, Luke’s gospel explicitly notes that it is due to "life's worries, riches and pleasures" (Luke 8:14) and "carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life" (Luke 21:34). The first reason people fall into the lure of money is that the struggle to earn a living dominates us. The poor are especially susceptible. Yet, in our present age, regardless of wealth or faith, almost everyone is consumed by the belief that we can only survive if we work—or rather, make money. This happens because the faith that God provides each day and sustains month after month—just as He sent manna daily to Israel in the wilderness—is no longer present. While we must certainly work hard and fulfill our duties at work, true financial freedom does not come from those efforts alone. My heartfelt desire is that God’s children today will realize that reclaiming the faith that our Almighty God feeds us with daily manna on our wilderness journey is the essential first step toward true financial freedom.
The second reason people are drawn into the temptation of wealth is the multitude of conveniences and splendors that an affluent life affords. With money, one can enjoy every comfort and unfurl life’s peacock feathers in lavish display. What kinds of conveniences are these? On the surface, every sphere of life—food, clothing, and shelter—is transformed. The clothes one wears, the meals one purchases, the size of one’s home, and the furnishings within it will all differ. Nor does it stop there. The car one drives changes, and even without a private jet, the class of seat on an airplane changes. And when the cabin class changes, so does the entire level of service. In earlier days, poor parents were so consumed by the struggle to put food on the table that they could not even attend their son’s elementary school graduation; today, those with sufficient means can fly the whole family across the globe to attend a daughter’s university graduation. When vacation season arrives, the scale and character of travel differ vastly between those who have and those who do not. Yet, while everyone knows that who you travel with matters far more than where you go, very few truly live by that truth.
We live believing that a change in career and annual salary changes one's quality of life. In certain respects, that is undeniably true. However, there is an even more essential dimension of life that does not depend on income. Because it is not immediately visible, people often overlook it. Of course, with careful observation, one can discern the inner state through a person's expression. When the heart is joyful, the face glows; humming replaces sighing, and thanksgiving replaces grumbling whenever the mouth opens. To cultivate such a life, one must pray without ceasing, but people often choose the easier path instead. They pretend to be happy, flaunting it on Instagram. They apply makeup, dress up, and carry luxury goods in an effort to impress others. Yet far more important is the relationship—with whom we walk, and with what posture of heart. If the Sovereign Lord has granted us abundance, we need only care for our neighbors, enjoy His gifts, and give thanks. Conversely, if our circumstances are meager, it is unbecoming of God's children to engage in a spiritual tug-of-war with the devil, selling one's soul in pursuit of money just to display a peacock’s opulent feathers. As the Apostle exhorts: "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that" (1 Timothy 6:8).
Alhoewel daar al talle kere was dat geld diepe hartseer veroorsaak het, is daar twee gevalle—een tydens my aktiewe gemeentebediening en ’n ander na my aftrede—wat moeilik uit my geheue gewis kan word. Die eerste was die geval van ’n afgetredene wat na ’n goeie loopbaan sy hele skeidingspakket in ’n enkele waagstuk belê het en brandarm agtergebly het. Die ander geval was dié van ’n jong professionele persoon wat gehoop het om die boerpot te slaan en al sy beskikbare kapitaal ingesit het, waardeur hy nie net homself nie, maar ook sy ouers en broers en susters in ernstige finansiële nood gedompel het—soos ’n swart gat wat alles insluk, terwyl hulle deur ’n donker tonnel sonder enige duidelike uitkoms moes beweeg. In sulke omstandighede is dit glad nie maklik om te weet waarvoor ’n mens moet bid nie. Terwyl ek as leraar gedien het en elke week gepreek het, voel ek ’n diepe selfverwyt dat ek nie werklik doeltreffend verkondig het hoe ’n mens behoort te leef nie. Ek het wel verkondig dat die lewe ’n keuse tussen ‘God of geld’ is en dat ons vanselfsprekend God moet dien, maar ek voel ek het versuim om met die nodige dringendheid te preek oor hoe oorweldigend die versoeking van geld werklik is, waarom en hoe ’n mens daarin vasval, en hoe ’n mens jou daaruit kan loswikkel as jy eers gevang is. Ek betreur hierdie pligsversuim in my hart.
Die Here het by verskeie geleenthede die twee vernaamste redes uitgewys waarom mense in die versoeking van geld verval. Benewens die leer van die Bergrede, meld veral Lukas se verslag uitdruklik dat dit spruit uit "die sorge en rykdom en genot van die lewe" (Luk. 8:14) en "swelgery, dronkenskap en die sorge van die lewe" (Luk. 21:34). Die eerste rede waarom mense voor die versoeking van geld swig, is dat die stryd om oorlewing ons lewens oorheers. Veral die armes val hieraan ten prooi. Maar in hierdie tyd word byna almal—ryk of arm, gelowig of ongelowig—beheers deur die gedagte dat ons slegs kan oorleef as ons werk, of liewer, as ons geld maak. Dit is omdat die geloof dat God daagliks gee en maandeliks voorsien—net soos die manna wat elke dag vir Israel in die woestyn neergedaal het—nie meer leef nie. Natuurlik moet ’n mens hard werk en jou beroep getrou beoefen, maar dit is nie bloot ons eie arbeid wat ons van ekonomiese sorge bevry nie. My bede is dat die gelowiges van vandag sal besef dat die herstel van die geloof dat die Almagtige God ons daagliks met manna voed op ons woestynreis, die allereerste stap na ware finansiële vryheid is.
Die tweede rede waarom mense in die versoeking van geld verval, is die talle geriewe en die prag wat ’n oorvloedige lewe meebring. Met geld kan ’n mens baie geriewe geniet en jou vlerke voluit soos ’n pou se pronkvere oopsprei. Watter geriewe is dit? Uiterlik gesien verander elke faset van die lewe: kos, klere en onderdak. Die klere wat ’n mens dra, die kos wat jy koop en geniet, die grootte van jou huis en die meubels waarmee dit ingerig is, sal heeltemal anders wees. En is dit al? Die motor waarmee jy ry, verander; en selfs al besit jy nie ’n privaatvliegtuig nie, verander die sitplekklas wanneer jy per vliegtuig reis. En wanneer die reisklas verander, verander die hele wyse waarop jy behandel word. In die verlede was arm mense so vasgevang in die stryd om brood op die tafel te bring dat hulle nie eens hul seun se laerskoolgradeplegtigheid kon bywoon nie; vandag kan diegene met middele die hele gesin per vliegtuig laat reis om ’n dogter se universiteitsgradeplegtigheid mee te maak. Tydens die vakansietydperk verskil die omvang en gehalte van die reis tussen diegene wat het en diegene wat nie het nie, hemelsbreed. Tog weet almal dat dit belangriker is saam met wie jy reis as waarheen jy gaan, maar min mense leef werklik daarvolgens.
Ons leef met die oortuiging dat ’n ander werk en ’n hoër salaris ons lewenstandaard sal verander. In sekere opsigte is dit beslis waar. Maar daar is ’n selfs belangriker dimensie wat glad nie van inkomste afhang nie. Omdat dit nie dadelik sigbaar is nie, besef mense dit dikwels nie. As ’n mens egter fyn oplet, kan jy die innerlike toestand dikwels op iemand se gesigsuitdrukking aflees. Wanneer die hart vol vreugde is, straal die aangesig; in plaas van ’n sug klink daar ’n neurie, en wanneer die mond oopgaan, vloei dankbaarheid na vore in plaas van gekla. Om so ’n lewe te lei, moet ’n mens sonder ophou bid, maar mense kies dikwels die makliker uitweg. Hulle maak asof hulle gelukkig is en spog daarmee op Instagram. Hulle grimeer hulleself, trek opvallend aan en loop met luukse handelsmerke rond om te beïndruk. Tog is dit die verhouding wat werklik saak maak—saam met wie en met watter gesindheid van die hart ons wandel. As die Opperheerser ons van oorvloed voorsien het, hoef ons slegs na ons naaste om te sien, die seëninge met dankbaarheid te geniet; en as ons gebrek ly, pas dit nie ’n kind van die Here om in ’n toutrekkery met die duiwel betrokke te raak en jou siel vir geld te verkoop net om die pou se glansryke vere te probeer sprei nie. Die apostel vermaan ons immers: "As ons dan kos en klere het, moet ons daarmee tevrede wees" (1 Timoteus 6:8).