참 세상이 빨리 변합니다. 특별히 이 시대가 그렇습니다. 굳이 ‘라떼’를 들춘다면 그 때는 나이가 들면 모두 결혼을 해야 하는 줄로 알았습니다. 어느 누구도 그 흐름에 의문을 가지지는 않았습니다. 지난 50년 만에 여러 가지가 많이 변했지만 결혼관은 그 가운데 압권이라는 생각이 듭니다. 3포 시대니 어쩌니 하는 말을 들은지 얼마되지 않았는데 이제는 결혼조차도 필수에서 선택으로 변한 것 같습니다. 스멀스멀 변하여 이제는 비혼이 대세로 자리잡아 가는 것 같습니다. 모든 것이 우리의 선택사항이 되고 우리가 만사의 결정권을 가진 듯 합니다. 아예 당당하게 비혼주의를 주창하는 이들도 등장했습니다.
눈을 너무 가까이 하게 되면 사물을 제대로 볼 수 없을 때도 있습니다. 그래서 이 시대의 현상을 너무 가까이 바라보지 말고, 사람들이 그동안 어떻게 살아왔는지를 살펴봐야 할 것 같습니다. 그 어떤 책보다 성경은 인류의 모습을 잘 그려놓았습니다. 인류의 오랜 기록 속에 담겨진 결혼은 어떤 모습일까요? “내가 여호와로 말미암아 크게 기뻐하며 내 영혼이 나의 하나님으로 말미암아 즐거워하리니 이는 그가 구원의 옷을 내게 입히시며 공의의 겉옷을 내게 더하심이 신랑이 사모를 쓰며 신부가 자기 보석으로 단장함 같게 하셨음이라”(사 61:10) “마치 청년이 처녀와 결혼함 같이 네 아들들이 너를 취하겠고 신랑이 신부를 기뻐함 같이 네 하나님이 너를 기뻐하시리라”(사 62:5) 세상 일 가운데서 가장 지극한 기쁨을 표현할 때 신랑과 신부를 등장시키고 있습니다.
동시에 성경은 한 시대를 향한 하늘의 저주를 선언할 때 이렇게 표현합니다. “그 때에 내가 유다 성읍들과 예루살렘 거리에 기뻐하는 소리, 즐거워하는 소리, 신랑의 소리, 신부의 소리가 끊어지게 하리니 땅이 황폐하리라” (렘 7:34) “만군의 여호와 이스라엘의 하나님께서 이와 같이 말씀하시니라 보라 기뻐하는 소리와 즐거워하는 소리와 신랑의 소리와 신부의 소리를 내가 네 목전, 네 시대에 이 곳에서 끊어지게 하리라”(렘 16:9) “내가 그들 중에서 기뻐하는 소리와 즐거워하는 소리와 신랑의 소리와 신부의 소리와 맷돌 소리와 등불 빛이 끊어지게 하리니” 이런 선언은 특정시대에 한정된 저주는 아닙니다. 인류의 마지막 심판을 선언할 때도 동원됩니다. “등불 빛이 결코 다시 네 가운데서 비취지 아니하고 신랑과 신부의 음성이 결코 다시 네 가운데서 들리지 아니하리로다”(계 18:23)
결혼하지 않기로 자신이 선택하며 또 한 걸음의 자유를 내딛는다고 믿고 주장하는 용감한 세대를 향한 하나님의 판단은 어떠할까요? 물론 우리는 처참한 경제적 실태 때문이라고 여길 수도 있습니다. 아이는 필요없고 두 사람이 벌어서 즐기며 사는 것이 최상의 선택처럼 믿을 수도 있습니다. 결혼을 필수적으로 생각하는 것은 옛 시대의 유물이지 더 이상 이 시대를 살아가는 자유인을 구속하는 족쇄가 아니라고 주장할 수도 있습니다. 그러나 현미경적인 분석을 벗어나 망원경적인 시야를 갖고 인류문화사를 본다면, 가장 기쁘고 행복한 무엇이 사라지는 시대는 아닐까요? 게다가 사람을 지으신 분의 본래 설계에 따라 분석한다면, 이 시대는 어두운 땅거미가 내리덮힌 저주의 영역으로 들어가고 있는 것은 아닐까요? 비혼을 선언하여 결혼을 스스로 포기한 세대에게, 하나님은 가장 소중한 결혼의 기쁨을 앗아가 버린 것은 아닐까요?
The world truly changes so quickly. This current age feels especially so. If I may reminisce about "the good old days," back then, everyone naturally assumed that when one came of age, one was supposed to get married. No one ever questioned that natural flow of life. Over the past fifty years, countless things have transformed, but the shift in perspectives on marriage seems to be the most dramatic of all. It feels like only yesterday when we first heard terms like the "Sampo Generation" (giving up dating, marriage, and children), yet now marriage itself seems to have moved from being an essential milestone to merely an optional choice. Creeping in quietly, remaining unmarried—non-marriage—now appears to have become mainstream. Everything has turned into a matter of personal preference, as if we hold the final say over all things. Some have even come forward boldly championing celibacy as an active lifestyle.
Sometimes, when we hold things too close to our eyes, we fail to see them clearly. Therefore, rather than looking at the phenomena of our times from too narrow a distance, perhaps we ought to step back and examine how humankind has lived throughout history. More than any other book, the Bible vividly paints the human condition. What kind of portrait does marriage hold within the ancient records of humanity? "I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels" (Isaiah 61:10). "For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee" (Isaiah 62:5). When Scripture seeks to express the utmost joy found in earthly life, it presents the bridegroom and the bride.
At the same time, when Scripture pronounces heaven's curse upon an era, it uses these very words: "Then will I cause to cease from the cities of Judah, and from the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride: for the land shall be desolate" (Jeremiah 7:34). "For thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Behold, I will cause to cease out of this place in your eyes, and in your days, the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride" (Jeremiah 16:9). "Moreover I will take from them the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the sound of the millstones, and the light of the candle." Such declarations were not curses confined solely to a particular historical moment; they are invoked even when proclaiming the final judgment of humanity: "And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee" (Revelation 18:23).
What would God's judgment be upon this courageous generation that chooses not to marry, believing and professing that they are taking yet another step toward personal freedom? Of course, we might attribute this trend to harsh economic realities. Some may believe that having no children, while two earners simply enjoy life together, is the best possible choice. Others may argue that regarding marriage as an absolute necessity is merely a relic of an ancient age—no longer a chain that should bind free individuals today. Yet, stepping beyond microscopic analysis to view human cultural history through a telescopic lens, might this not be an era where the most profound joy and happiness are fading away? Furthermore, if evaluated according to the original design of the Creator who made man and woman, could it be that our era is slipping into a realm of shadow and curse? For a generation that has renounced marriage and proclaimed non-marriage, could it be that God has withdrawn from them the most precious joy of marriage?
Die wêreld verander waarlik so vinnig. Veral hierdie huidige era voel so. As ’n mens terugdink aan die ou dae, was daar ’n tyd toe almal vanselfsprekend geglo het dat jy moet trou sodra jy die regte ouderdom bereik. Niemand het ooit daardie lewenspatroon betwyfel nie. Oor die afgelope vyftig jaar het baie dinge verander, maar die verskuiwing in die beskouing van die huwelik spant sekerlik die kroon. Dit voel soos gister toe ons vir die eerste keer van die sogenaamde "drie-afstande-generasie" gehoor het (hulle wat afsien van afsprake, huwelik en kinders), maar vandag lyk dit asof selfs die huwelik verander het van ’n lewensnoodsaaklikheid na ’n bloot opsionele keuse. Byna ongemerk het die besluit om ongetroud te bly ’n heersende neiging geword. Alles het ’n kwessie van keuse geword, asof ons die alleenreg het om oor alle dinge te beslis. Daar is selfs diegene wat vandag met vrymoedigheid die beginsel van enkellopendheid as ’n lewensbeskouing verkondig.
Wanneer ’n mens iets te naby aan jou oë hou, kan jy dit soms nie behoorlik sien nie. Daarom behoort ons miskien nie die verskynsels van hierdie tyd van te naby te bekyk nie, maar eerder te kyk na hoe mense deur die eeue heen geleef het. Beter as enige ander boek teken die Bybel die wese van die mensdom. Hoe lyk die huwelik soos dit in die antieke geskrifte van die mensdom opgeteken staan? "Ek is baie bly in die HERE, my siel juig in my God; want Hy het my beklee met die klere van heil, die mantel van geregtigheid het Hy my omgehang—soos ’n bruidegom wat die priesterlike hoofversiering omsit, en soos ’n bruid wat haar versier met haar juwele" (Jesaja 61:10). "Want soos ’n jongman ’n jonkvrou trou, so sal jou kinders jou trou; en soos die bruidegom bly is oor die bruid, so sal jou God oor jou bly wees" (Jesaja 62:5). Wanneer die Skrif die mees intense vreugde in hierdie aardse lewe wil uitdruk, roep dit die beeld van ’n bruidegom en ’n bruid na vore.
Terselfdertyd gebruik die Bybel dieselfde beeldspraak wanneer dit die vloek van die hemel oor ’n era uitspreek: "Dan sal Ek uit die stede van Juda en uit die strate van Jerusalem laat ophou die stem van vreugde en die stem van vrolikheid, die stem van die bruidegom en die stem van die bruid; want die land sal ’n woesteny word" (Jeremia 7:34). "Want so sê die HERE van die leërskare, die God van Israel: Kyk, Ek laat uit hierdie plek ophou voor julle oë en in julle dae die stem van vreugde en die stem van vrolikheid, die stem van die bruidegom en die stem van die bruid" (Jeremia 16:9). "En Ek sal uit hulle midde laat vergaan die stem van vreugde en die stem van vrolikheid, die stem van die bruidegom en die stem van die bruid, die geluid van die meulstene en die lig van die lamp." Hierdie verklarings was nie ’n vloek wat slegs tot ’n spesifieke historiese tydperk beperk was nie; dit word selfs ingespan wanneer die finale oordeel oor die mensdom aangekondig word: "En die lig van ’n lamp sal nooit meer in jou skyn nie, en die stem van bruidegom en bruid sal nooit meer in jou gehoor word nie" (Openbaring 18:23).
Wat sou God se oordeel wees oor ’n dapper geslag wat kies om nie te trou nie, in die oortuiging dat hulle daarmee nog ’n tree vorentoe gee op pad na vryheid? Natuurlik kan ons dit toeskryf aan haglike ekonomiese toestande. Sommige glo dalk dat ’n kinderlose lewe waarin twee mense geld verdien en die lewe geniet, die heel beste keuse is. Hulle voer dalk aan dat die idee van die huwelik as ’n noodsaaklikheid bloot ’n oorblyfsel van vervloë dae is, en nie meer ’n ketting wat vrye mense van vandag behoort te bind nie. Maar as ons wegbeweeg van ’n mikroskopiese ontleding en die kultuurgeskiedenis van die mensdom deur ’n teleskoop bekyk, leef ons dan nie in ’n era waarin die heel diepste vreugde en geluk besig is om te verdwyn nie? Buitendien, as ons dit beoordeel volgens die oorspronklike ontwerp van die Skepper wat die mens gemaak het, beweeg hierdie era nie dalk ’n skemerwêreld binne waar die vloek neergedaal het nie? Vir ’n geslag wat die huwelik afgesweer het en doelbewus daarvan afgesien het—het God nie dalk die kosbaarste vreugde van die huwelik van hulle weggeneem nie?