내일이면 연휴가 시작됩니다. 그래서 우리 학교도 다른 때보다 더 조용한 겨울방학입니다. 명절을 앞두고 직원들이 오전 근무를 하고, 모두들 집으로, 아니면 고향 앞으로 향했기 때문입니다. 그동안 신정과 구정 사이에 오락가락 한 적도 있지만, 설은 구정으로 쇠는 것이 판정승을 한 분위기입니다. 물론 분위기도 옛날과는 많이 달라졌습니다. 고속도로가 정체되는 것은 아직도 여전하지만, 그래도 달라진 것은 귀향길만 아니라 귀경길도 막히기 시작했다는 것입니다. 일사분란하게 부모님 댁으로 가는 것이 아니라, 부모들이 서울에 사는 자식들 집으로 올라오는 행렬이 새로 시작되었습니다.
그 때 명절 분위기를 떠올리면 여전히 옛 시집살이 트라우마가 있는 며느리들도 있을 것입니다. 그래서 한때는 <시>자가 들어가는 모든 <시>월드를 기피한 적도 있을 것입니다. 그래서 시금치도 먹지 않았다는 전설까지 있습니다. 하지만 이제는 세상이 달라졌습니다. 서슬 시퍼런 시어머니의 권위는 봄 볕에 눈 녹듯이 더 이상 찾아보기가 어려워졌습니다. 물론 봄이 와도 높은 산이나 깊은 계곡에 잔설(殘雪)이 남아 있듯이 아직도 싸늘한 분위기가 어떤 가정에는 남아 있을 수 있지만, 대세는 이미 봄이나 마찬가지입니다. 아직 남아 있는 곳이 있다면 천연기념물처럼 보관하든지, 안동하회마을같은 문화재로 보호할만큼 희귀할 것입니다.
그러니 대세는 이미 며느님 전성시대로 진입했습니다. 시어머니가 며느리 눈치를 살피는, 옛날에는 상상도 못했던 세상이 되고 말았습니다. 시집 출신들이라면 시어머니 아들인 남편까지도 무시되는 세상이기도 합니다. 이런 바람이 불어온 것은 남자만 일하고 수입을 갖던 시대가 물러가고, 여자들도 일을 할 뿐만 아니라 남편 못지않는 수입을 창출하는 시대이기 때문입니다. 물론 여전히 남편만 일터에서 일하고 수입을 얻어서 가정을 꾸려가더라도 크게 다르지 않습니다. 이런 현상의 도래에는 국가가 거들기도 했습니다. 모든 사람의 수입을 국가가 들여다보고 세금을 징수하려고 온라인으로 월급을 보내기 시작할 때부터입니다. 그래도 한 달에 한 번, 월급봉투를 뽑던 그 호기로운 저녁에는 식탁조차 달랐는데 이제는 아련한 옛 추억이 되고 말았습니다.
게다가 적어도 명절이면 느껴지던 시집살이의 설음조차 사라진 지 오래 되었습니다. 한 때 위세를 떨치는 시집살이의 잔설(殘雪)조차 명절에도 사라지고, 온누리에 꽃이 활짝 핀 것 같은 새로운 세상이 찾아왔습니다. 그래서 요즈음 어떤 여인들은 세상에 무서울 것이 없이 살아가고 있습니다. 윗세대로부터 받는 스트레스가 사라지고 아랫세대 자녀들로부터 받는 시집살이가 새롭게 시작되기도 합니다. 권위 아래 사는 것은 인간의 조건이라고 생각합니다. 첫 사람 아담에게 “선악을 알게 하는 나무의 과일”을 먹지 말라고 에덴에서의 명령부터, 출애굽기에 열 가지로 표현된 계명 하나 하나는 인간의 생존조건을 보여주는 것 같습니다. 하고 싶은대로 살아간다고 사람은 사람다워지거나 그래서 행복해지는 것이 아닙니다. 답해 보십시오. “시집살이 없어지니 전보다 행복해졌습니까?”
Tomorrow the holiday begins. That is why our university is in an even quieter winter break than usual. Ahead of the holiday, the staff worked only the morning shift, and everyone headed home or set out for their hometowns. In the past, there was a period of back-and-forth between celebrating New Year’s Day by the solar calendar and the lunar calendar, but it seems Lunar New Year has clearly won the day. Of course, the holiday atmosphere has also changed significantly from the old days. The highway gridlock remains the same as ever, but what has changed is that traffic jams now occur not only on the journey down to the hometowns but also on the way up to Seoul. Instead of everyone uniformly traveling down to their parents' homes, a new trend has begun where parents travel up to the homes of their children living in Seoul.
Recalling the holiday atmosphere of those past days, some daughters-in-law may still carry the lingering trauma of traditional in-law life (sijipsari). At one time, they might have even shunned anything starting with the syllable si—the prefix associated with in-laws. There is even a humorous urban legend that daughters-in-law would refuse to eat spinach (sigeumchi) simply because of its name. Yet the world has truly changed now. The once-formidable authority of the mother-in-law has melted away like snow under the warm spring sun, becoming hard to find anywhere. To be sure, just as lingering snow remains on high mountains or in deep valleys even when spring arrives, a chilly breeze might still linger in certain households; nevertheless, the prevailing tide is already full spring. If such severe households still exist, they must be rare enough to be preserved like natural monuments or protected like the historic Andong Hahoe Folk Village.
Thus, the prevailing tide has clearly entered the golden age of daughters-in-law. We have arrived in a world where mothers-in-law walk on eggshells around their daughters-in-law—something unimaginable in the past. It has even become a world where the husband himself, being the son of the in-laws, finds himself brushed aside. Such winds of change began blowing because the era when only men worked and earned an income has passed; we now live in an era where women not only work, but also generate an income that rivals that of their husbands. Of course, even in households where only the husband works outside to support the family, the dynamic is not fundamentally different. The state also played a part in ushering in this phenomenon. It began when the state started peering into everyone's earnings to levy taxes, mandating that salaries be wired online. Still, in the old days, on that gallant evening once a month when a husband drew out a physical pay envelope, even the dinner table looked different; now, that too has become a faint, distant memory.
Furthermore, the long-standing sorrow of living under the thumb of in-laws, once so keenly felt during the holidays, has long since disappeared. Even the lingering snow of that once-mighty in-law authority has vanished from holiday gatherings, and a new world where flowers seem to bloom across the entire earth has arrived. Consequently, some women today live without a single fear in the world. Yet while the stress coming from the older generation has evaporated, a new kind of servitude imposed by the younger generation—one's own children—has begun. I believe that living under authority is an inherent part of the human condition. From the commandment given in Eden to the first man, Adam, forbidding him to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, to each of the commandments expressed in the Ten Commandments of Exodus, they all seem to point to the fundamental conditions for human life. Living entirely as one pleases does not make a person truly human, nor does it bring true happiness. Answer this: "Now that the burden of in-law life is gone, are you truly happier than before?"
Môre begin die vakansiedae. Daarom beleef ons universiteit 'n selfs stiller wintervakansie as gewoonlik. Voor die feesdae het die personeel slegs die oggend gewerk, en almal het huis toe of na hul tuisdorpe vertrek. In die verlede was daar 'n heen-en-weer tussen die viering van Nuwejaar volgens die sonkalender en die maankalender, maar dit lyk asof die Maannuwejaar uiteindelik die oorhand gekry het. Natuurlik het die atmosfeer ook heelwat verander teenoor vroeër jare. Die verkeersknope op die hoofweë bly steeds 'n werklikheid, maar die verskil is dat dit nie meer net die pad terug na die tuisdorpe is wat vasval nie, maar ook die pad op na Seoul. In plaas daarvan dat almal eensgesind na hul ouers se huise stroom, het 'n nuwe beweging begin waar ouers na die huise van hul kinders in Seoul reis.
As 'n mens aan daardie ou feesdae terugdink, is daar sekerlik skoondogters wat steeds die trauma van die tradisionele skoonfamilie-lewe (sijipsari) saam met hulle dra. Daar was 'n tyd toe hulle enigiets wat met die klank si begin het—die voorvoegsel wat met skoonfamilie verband hou—vermy het. Daar is selfs 'n grapverhaal dat skoondogters geweier het om spinasie (sigeumchi) te eet net vanweë die naam. Maar die wêreld het nou verander. Die eens vreesaanjaende gesag van die skoonma het soos sneeu voor die lenteson gesmelt en is nou skaars nog te vinde. Weliswaar, net soos daar op hoë berge of in diep klowe nog oorblywende sneeu kan lê wanneer die lente aanbreek, kan daar in sommige gesinne nog 'n koue briesie heers; tog het die gety reeds na volle lente gedraai. As sulke streng huise nog bestaan, moet hulle so seldsaam wees dat hulle soos natuurlike monumente bewaar of soos die historiese Andong Hahoe-dorpie as erfenis beskerm behoort te word.
Die hoofstroom het dus reeds die goue era van die skoondogter betree. Ons het beland in 'n wêreld waar die skoonma op eiers loop rondom die skoondogter—iets wat in die verlede heeltemal ondenkbaar was. Dit is selfs 'n wêreld waar die man self, as die skoonma se seun, opsy geskuif word. Hierdie winde van verandering het begin waai omdat die tyd toe slegs mans gewerk en 'n inkomste verdien het, verbygegaan het; ons leef nou in 'n era waar vroue nie net werk nie, maar ook 'n inkomste genereer wat geensins minder as dié van hul mans is nie. Natuurlik, selfs in gesinne waar slegs die man buite werk om die huishouding te onderhou, verskil die dinamika nie veel nie. Die staat het ook gehelp om hierdie verskynsel teweeg te bring. Dit het begin toe die owerheid almal se inkomste begin dophou het om belasting in te vorder en salarisse elektronies oorbetaal moes word. Tog, in die ou dae, op daardie trotse aand een keer per maand wanneer die man 'n fisiese salariskoevert te voorskyn gebring het, het selfs die etenstafel anders gelyk; nou het dit bloot 'n vae, verre herinnering geword.
Bowendien het die jarelange hartseer van die tradisionele skoonfamilie-lewe, wat vroeër so swaar op feesdae gedruk het, lank reeds verdwyn. Selfs die laaste spore van daardie eens magtige skoonfamilie-oorheersing het tydens feestye verdwyn, en 'n nuwe wêreld het aangebreek waar blomme oënskynlik oral in volle bloei staan. Gevolglik leef sommige vroue vandag asof daar niks op aarde is om te vrees nie. Tog, terwyl die spanning van die ouer geslag verdwyn het, het 'n nuwe soort diensbaarheid teenoor die jonger geslag—'n mens se eie kinders—na vore gekom. Ek glo dat die lewe onder gesag 'n wesenlike deel van die menslike toestand is. Van die eerste bevel aan Adam in Eden om nie van die boom van die kennis van goed en kwaad te eet nie, tot elkeen van die Tien Gebooie in Eksodus, dui alles op die noodsaaklike voorwaardes vir menslike lewe. Om bloot te lewe soos 'n mens wil, maak 'n mens nie waarlik mens nie, en dit bring ook nie geluk nie. Antwoord my gerus: "Noudat die las van die skoonfamilie weg is, is u waarlik gelukkiger as tevore?"