지난 10일 에스라성경대학원대학교 27기 학위수여식을 하면서, 4년의 임기를 마친 저의 총장 이임식도 있었습니다. 남아있는 <에스라 서신2 2020.11.21>를 읽어보니 감회가 새로웠습니다. 무엇보다 두드러진 사실은 하나님은 우리의 기도를 들으시는 분이라는 것입니다. 제 전임자 4대 이철 총장으로 부터 그 때 받은 톡입니다.“안 원장님의 문자를 받아 본 저의 마음이, 아기 예수를 품에 안은 시므온과 같은 마음입니다. 4년 동안 에스라의 총장으로 있으면서, 20년이 된 이 학교의 건물과 기자재가 너무 열악한 것 때문에 하나님의 도우심을 구하여 왔지만, 응답을 보지 못하고 임기를 마치는 섭섭함이 있었는데, 안 원장님을 통하여 이런 응답을 받으니, 시므온이 하나님을 찬송하며 ‘이제는 말씀하신대로 종을 평안히 놓아 주시는도다’라고 한 것처럼, 저도 이제 마음 놓고 총장직을 내려 놓을 수 있겠습니다.”
네, 우리 하나님은 살아계시며 우리의 기도를 들으시는 분이십니다. 직무를 인수할 때 7천만원의 경상적자도 작년에는 흑자로 돌아섰습니다. 뿐만 아니라 수년동안 에스라 이사회를 짓누르던 부담이었던 신관개발부담금도 앞장 선 이사님과 이사들님의 열정적인 기도와 물질의 후원으로 모금 3개월만에 부족했던 3억이 달성된 것도 우리의 기도를 들으시는 하나님의 작품입니다. 요즈음 인구 뿐만 아니라 기독교인이 줄고 신학생이 줄어든 상황에서 맡은 총장의 직무는 오죽하면 새로운 3D 업종이라고 말하겠습니까? 그러다보니 ‘자나깨나 불조심’ ‘앉으나 서나 학생모집’ 을 했지만 2년 전, 27기에는 수시와 정시를 합해서 11명이 등록하는 최대의 위기를 맞이하기도 했습니다. 28기에는 ‘동에 하나 서에 하나, 고르고 택하여’ 보내시는 분이 하나님이심을 새삼 깨닫게 되었습니다.
4년 차가 되던 지난 해에 새롭게 깨달은 사실은, 신입생 모집이나 모금만이 총장의 직무가 아니라, 배출한 학우들이 사역지를 찾도록 하는 것도 기도의 제목이어야 한다는 것입니다. 일반적인 용어를 빌리면 ‘취업알선’이지요^^ 감사하게도 이번 27기 학위수여식에 참석한 학부모님께서 우리 에스라를 졸업한 아들뿐 아니라 학위를 받은 딸도 2주째 사역을 새로 시작했다는 기쁜 소식을 전해 왔습니다. 그런데 문제는, 은퇴를 하고 오신 목사님이나 이미 60대 가까이 아니면 넘어서 학교에 와서 2년동안 공부를 하고 나면 나이가 만만찮으니 취업(?)은 못하지만 봉사할 곳은 세계에 널려있습니다. 영국 영어도 할 수 있고 미국 영어도 되는 분들이니 재배치하는 일도 우리 하늘 아버지의 직무이지요^^ 우린 다만 가만히 서서 주님이 하시는 일을 바라보며 찬양하면 됩니다.
본래 하늘 아버지와 계약은 4년이었습니다. “가기 싫습니다. 왜 제가 거기 가서 4년을 썩어야 합니까?” 그 때 하나님은 70년 예수 믿으면서, 그동안 한 번도 경험하지 못한 두려움으로 답하셨습니다. 직감적으로 내가 불순종하고 있다는 것을 깨닫고 무릎을 꿇었습니다. “머리로 이해는 안되지만 순종하겠습니다”라고 기도하고 자리에서 일어나니 마치 제 귀에 말씀하시는 것 같았습니다. “뭐? 그 4년이 네 4년이냐?” 그래서 순종해서 올라왔습니다. 올라와서 1년도 되지 않았을 때부터 ‘한 텀 더 하셔야죠’라는 제안 있었고 그럴 때마다 그 권한은 교수도 직원도 학우도 동문도 아니고 <이사회>라는 것을 확인시켜드렸습니다. 참으로 에스라를 사랑하는 하늘 아버지께서, 제6대 총장으로 지난 11월 말에 서울영동교회(고신)를 조기은퇴한 정현구 목사님을 보내주셨습니다. 그러므로 아기 예수를 품에 안고 노래한 시므온의 노래를 저도 부르게 되었습니다. “주재여 이제는 말씀하신 대로 종을 평안히 놓아 주시는도다”
On the 10th, alongside the 27th commencement ceremony of Ezra Bible Graduate University, my farewell ceremony as president was held after concluding my four-year tenure. Rereading the archived <Ezra Letter 2, Nov 21, 2020> brought back a deep flood of memories. Above all, the most undeniable truth is that God is the One who hears our prayers. Here is the message I received back then from my predecessor, the 4th President, Rev. Chul Lee: “Receiving Director Ahn’s text filled my heart with the same joy Simeon felt when cradling baby Jesus in his arms. Serving as president of Ezra for four years, I continually sought God’s help because the facilities and equipment of this twenty-year-old institution were so worn down, yet I felt an ache in my heart having to complete my term without seeing an answer. But now that such an answer has arrived through Director Ahn, just as Simeon praised God saying, ‘Sovereign Lord, now you dismiss your servant in peace, according to your word,’ I too can lay down the presidency with complete peace of mind.”
Yes, our God is alive, and He is the One who hears our prayers. The operating deficit of 70 million won that hung over us when I took office turned into a surplus last year. Furthermore, the municipal development levy for the new annex—a heavy burden that had weighed down Ezra’s board of trustees for years—was completely resolved when the shortage of 300 million won was met within just three months through the passionate prayers and sacrificial giving of our lead trustee and fellow board members. This, too, was purely God’s doing in answer to our cries. In an era where not only the general population but also Christians and seminary students are dwindling, the office of university president has become so demanding that some jokingly call it the new "3D" (dirty, dangerous, and difficult) job. And so, just as people say "Stay alert to prevent fire day and night," I found myself thinking "Awake or asleep, recruit students." Yet two years ago, with the 27th class, we faced our greatest crisis when only 11 students enrolled between early and regular admissions. But with the 28th class, we were reminded anew that it is God Himself who handpicks and sends each student from the east and from the west.
During my fourth year, I gained another fresh realization: the duty of a president is not solely about student recruitment or fundraising; praying that our graduates find places of ministry must also be a primary prayer topic. To borrow a secular phrase, it is "job placement" ^^ Thankfully, a parent who attended this 27th commencement ceremony shared the joyous news that not only their son who had previously graduated from Ezra, but also their daughter who was graduating that day, had both begun new ministries two weeks ago. However, the unique challenge lies with those pastors who come to study after retiring, or those who enter the school in their late fifties or sixties. After two years of intensive study, finding conventional ministry "employment" is no easy feat due to their advanced age, yet opportunities to serve abound worldwide. These are leaders proficient in both British and American English, so redeploying them to where they are needed is truly our Heavenly Father's specialty ^^ Our role is simply to stand still, witness what the Lord accomplishes, and give Him praise.
Originally, my agreement with our Heavenly Father was for strictly four years. At first, I had resisted: "I don't want to go. Why should I spend and waste four years of my life there?" At that moment, God answered me with a holy fear unlike anything I had ever experienced in my seventy years of walking with Jesus. Instinctively realizing my disobedience, I dropped to my knees. "Lord, my head cannot understand it, but I will obey," I prayed. As I stood up, it felt as though He whispered right into my ear: "What? Are those four years yours to claim?" And so, I obeyed and came up to the school. Less than a year into my term, people began suggesting, "You should serve another term," but each time I reminded them that such authority belongs neither to faculty, staff, students, nor alumni—it rests solely with the Board of Trustees. Our Heavenly Father, who truly loves Ezra, has now sent Pastor Hyun-koo Jung, who recently took early retirement from Seoul Youngdong Church (Kosin) at the end of last November, to serve as the 6th president. And so, I too can now sing the very song Simeon sang as he held the infant Jesus in his arms: “Sovereign Lord, now you dismiss your servant in peace, according to your word.”
Op die 10de, saam met die 27ste gradeplegtigheid van Ezra Bybelse Nagraadse Universiteit, is my afskeidsplegtigheid as rektor gehou na die voltooiing van my vierjarige ampstermyn. Toe ek die bewaarde <Ezra-brief 2, 21 Nov 2020> herlees, was dit ’n oomblik vol diepe herinneringe. Die wonderlikste werklikheid wat bo alles uitstaan, is dat God die Een is wat ons gebede verhoor. Hier is die boodskap wat ek destyds van my voorganger, die vierde rektor ds. Chul Lee, ontvang het: “Toe ek direkteur Ahn se teksboodskap lees, het my gemoed gevoel soos Simeon toe hy die kindjie Jesus in sy arms gehou het. Terwyl ek vier jaar lank rektor van Ezra was, het ek voortdurend God se hulp gesoek omdat die twintig jaar oue skoolgebou en toerusting so haglik was; tog was daar ’n hartseer dat ek my termyn moes afsluit sonder om ’n deurbraak te sien. Maar noudat ek so ’n antwoord deur direkteur Ahn ontvang het, kan ek—net soos Simeon God geloof het met die woorde: ‘Nou laat U, Here, u dienskneg in vrede gaan volgens u woord’—ook met ’n geruste hart my amp as rektor neerlê.”
Ja, ons God leef, en Hy is die Een wat ons gebede verhoor. Die bedryfstekort van 70 miljoen won waarmee ek my amp begin het, het verlede jaar in ’n oorskot verander. Boonop is die munisipale ontwikkelingsheffing vir die nuwe vleuel—wat jare lank soos ’n swaar las op die raad van trustees van Ezra gerus het—binne skaars drie maande se fondsinsameling ten volle gedek. Danksy die vurige gebede en materiële offervaardigheid van ons hoofkurator en mederaadslede is die tekort van 300 miljoen won ingesamel; ook dít is die wonderbaarlike werk van God wat ons gebede verhoor. In ’n tyd waarin nie net die bevolking nie, maar ook die getal Christene en teologiese studente afneem, word die rol van ’n rektor soms skertsend ’n nuwe "3D"-arbeid (vuil, gevaarlik en veeleisend) genoem. Gevolglik was my ingesteldheid soos die spreekwoordelike "Wees dag en nag waaksaam teen brand"—ek het gedink: "Of ek nou sit of staan, werf studente." Tog het ons twee jaar gelede, met die 27ste groep, ons grootste krisis beleef toe slegs 11 studente vir sowel vroeë as gewone toelating geregistreer het. Maar met die 28ste groep het ons opnuut besef dat dit God self is wat studente "een uit die ooste en een uit die weste" uitkies en na ons toe stuur.
In my vierde diensjaar het ’n nuwe insig tot my deurgedring: die verantwoordelikheid van ’n rektor behels nie net studentewerwing of fondsinsameling nie, maar om te bid dat ons afgestudeerde studente ’n bedieningsplek vind, moet net so ’n prioriteit wees. In gewone taal sou ’n mens dit seker "werkverskaffing" noem ^^ Genadiglik het ’n ouer wat die 27ste gradeplegtigheid bygewoon het, die blye nuus meegedeel dat nie net hul seun wat voorheen aan Ezra gegradueer het nie, maar ook hul dogter wat pas haar graad ontvang het, reeds twee weke gelede met ’n nuwe bediening begin het. Die uitdaging lê egter by predikante wat ná hul aftrede kom studeer, of diegene wat eers op sestigjarige ouderdom of selfs ouer by ons aansluit. Ná twee jaar van studie is formele "indiensneming" weens hul gevorderde ouderdom nie maklik nie, maar daar is wêreldwyd oorgenoeg plekke om te dien. Hulle kan sowel Britse as Amerikaanse Engels praat, so om hulle op die regte plekke te herontplooi, is by uitstek ons hemelse Vader se taak ^^ Ons hoef slegs stil te staan, te aanskou wat die Here doen, en Hom daarvoor te prys.
Oorspronklik was my ooreenkoms met ons hemelse Vader slegs vir vier jaar. Ek het destyds teëgestribbel: “Ek wil nie gaan nie. Waarom moet ek soontoe gaan en vier jaar van my lewe daar mors?” Op daardie oomblik het God my geantwoord met ’n heilige ontsag en vrees wat ek in my sewentig jaar as Christen nog nooit vantevore beleef het nie. Instinktief het ek besef dat ek ongehoorsaam was, en ek het op my knieë geval. “My verstand kan dit nie begryp nie, maar ek sal gehoorsaam wees,” het ek gebid. Toe ek opstaan, was dit asof Hy reguit in my oor sê: “Wat? Is daardie vier jaar jóú vier jaar?” En so het ek in gehoorsaamheid gekom. Skaars ’n jaar ná my aankoms het mense al voorgestel: “U moet nog ’n termyn dien,” maar elke keer het ek hulle daaraan herinner dat daardie gesag nie by dosente, personeel, studente of alumni berus nie, maar uitsluitlik by die Raad van Trustees. Ons hemelse Vader, wat Ezra waarlik liefhet, het nou ds. Hyun-koo Jung—wat einde November verlede jaar vroeg afgetree het by Seoul Youngdong Gemeente (Kosin)—as die 6de rektor gestuur. Daarom kan ek nou dieselfde loflied sing wat Simeon gesing het terwyl hy die babatjie Jesus in sy arms gekoester het: “Nou laat U, Here, u dienskneg in vrede gaan volgens u woord.”