“아무리 보아도 이 땅에는 세상 풍속대로 우리가 결혼할 남자가 없다. 그러니 우리가 아버지께 술을 대접하여 취하시게 한 뒤에 아버지 자리에 들어가서, 아버지에게서 씨를 받도록 하자.”는 롯의 딸들의 말을 들어보십시오. “세상 풍속대로”를 그들의 행동의 기준으로 내세웁니다. 오늘을 사는 우리의 행동의 기반은 어떠할까요? “세상 풍속대로” 휩쓸리고 있지는 않습니까? 하지만 잘 생각해 보면 세속 풍조를 따라 가야 하는 것이 성도들의 삶의 목표일 수도, 이유일수도 없고, 의무일 수 없습니다. 물론 우리는 아비에게 술을 마시우고 씨를 받는 행동은 하지 않습니다. 오히려 씨를 남기는 일이 더 이상 이 시대의 목표가 아닙니다. 자라서 꽃을 피우고 열매를 맺는 초목들은 남아있지만 오늘 우리는 결혼을 하는 것도 본인이 선택할 권리라고 주장합니다.
또 결혼을 하더라도 아기를 갖는 것보다 자신들의 풍요로운 삶을 더 우선시합니다. 그 목표에 방해가 되면 아기 갖기를 거부하고, 그런 자녀의 모습을 지켜보는 부모들은 안타까워할 뿐입니다. “너 언제 결혼할꺼야?”라는 질문이 금기어가 된지 몇 십년이 지나갔나 봅니다. 어쩌다가 결혼을 했는데, 아기가 없이 몇 년이 지나가도 “너희들 아이는 언제 가질래?”라고 물으면 부모를 야만인 취급할 준비가 되어 있습니다. 그런 세상이다보니 자녀들이 서른을 훌쩍 넘겨도 결혼에 대해서, 결혼하고도 몇 년이 지나가도 아이를 낳는 일에 대해서도 권유는 커녕 질문조차 못하는 이상한 시대를 살고 있습니다. 이제 이 모든 현상이 우리 시대의 새로운 “세상 풍속”을 따르는 모습이 아닌지를 살펴볼 때입니다.
“잘 살아보세”가 아침마다 퍼지던 때부터, 그리고 “새해 복많이 받으세요”가 노골적으로 “부자되세요”라고 주고받던 과정을 거쳐서, 대한민국 오늘은 돈이 최고가 되는 시대로 돌변했습니다. 영끌을 해서라도 값이 오를 지역의 아파트를 구입하는 것을 아무도 허물하지 않습니다. 동서양의 고금을 막론하고 존재했던 고부간의 갈등조차 시부모의 재산형성에 도움이 되면 결혼신고조차도 조율하는 놀라운 시대를 살고 있습니다. 여러분이 알다시피 강남 큰 교회 권사도, 대쪽같은 메시지로 한 시대의 젊은이의 가슴에 정결한 불을 지피던 목사도 아들의 40억의 개척자금에 힘없이 무너지고 있습니다. 해외동포 아들이 카톡을 보내왔네요. “아빠, 훌륭한 은퇴자의 모습으로 계셔주셔서 감사합니다” 목사로서 할말이 없습니다. “다행히 신학한 아들이 없어서 그렇겠지 ㅋㅋ” 라고 답했습니다.
이기적이고, 세속적이고, 방탕한 젊은이들과는 달리, 돈보다는 가난을 선택하더라도, 거룩하게 살기로 결단하는 새로운 문화를 창출하는 그 교회가 다시 기억났습니다. 데이트는 대학 4학년 때, 결혼을 목표로 하고, 만남을 시작하면 6개월 이내에 결혼하도록, 그리고 결혼하면 많은 아이를 낳는 새로운 문화를 권장한 결과 교회에서 결혼한 50쌍의 청년들 가운데 1쌍도 이혼한 부부가 없다는 믿기 어려운 기록을 세운 교회입니다. 결혼하면 기본으로 세 자녀를 낳고, 어떤 이는 다섯을 낳고 둘을 입양하겠다는 목표를 세운다니 놀랍습니다. 교회에 오면 언니, 형들이 챙겨주며, 운동도, 영화도 같이 보고 즐기니, 교회는 따분한 곳이 아니라 가고 싶은 곳으로 변합니다. “분노와 다툼”없이 거룩한 손을 들어 남자들이 기도하는 교회, “땋은 머리와 금이나 진주나 값진 옷”으로 단장하는 일보다는 단정, 소박, 정절, 선행에 마음을 쏟고, 정숙, 믿음, 사랑, 거룩에 거하는 여성도들이 있는 곳이면 어디든 거룩의 꽃은 활짝 피어날 것입니다. 그리스도인은 세상 풍조대로 살지 않습니다.
“There is not a man on earth to lie with us after the manner of all the earth. Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.” Listen closely to the words of Lot's daughters. They set "the custom of the earth"—the ways of the world—as the benchmark for their actions. What is the foundation that guides our conduct today? Are we not being swept away "according to the customs of the world"? Yet, when we pause and reflect, following secular trends can never be the goal, the justification, or the duty of a believer's life. Of course, we do not make our fathers drunk to preserve seed. In fact, leaving descendants is hardly a priority in this day and age anymore. While the plants and trees still grow, blossom, and bear fruit, modern society asserts that marriage itself is merely an individual's personal choice.
Moreover, even when people do marry, they prioritize a lavish, comfortable lifestyle over having children. If a child stands in the way of that ambition, they choose not to have one, leaving their parents to watch in sorrow and heartache. It seems several decades have passed since the question, "When are you getting married?" turned into a taboo subject. Even after getting married, if several years go by without a child and parents dare to ask, "When do you plan on having a baby?", the children are ready to treat them as uncivilized barbarians. Living in such a world, we find ourselves in a strange era where parents cannot even suggest, let alone ask, about marriage even after their children are well past thirty, or about having children even years after they have wed. It is high time we examine whether all these trends are simply our way of conforming to the new "customs of the world."
From the days when the morning song "Let's Live Well" resonated throughout the country, to when the traditional New Year's greeting "Happy New Year" shamelessly transformed into "May you get rich," South Korea has abruptly turned into an era where money reigns supreme. No one faults anyone for stretching every penny and borrowing to the hilt just to purchase an apartment in an area bound to rise in value. We now live in a bewildering time where even the age-old tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is set aside to coordinate the timing of marriage registration if it benefits the in-laws' asset building. As you well know, even a senior deaconess of a mega-church in Gangnam, and a pastor whose uncompromising message once ignited a pure fire in the hearts of a generation of young people, crumble powerlessly before a four-billion-won church-planting fund for their son. A message arrived via KakaoTalk from my son living overseas: "Dad, thank you for living with such dignity and grace in your retirement." As a pastor, I was lost for words. I playfully replied, "Thankfully, that's because none of my sons studied theology, haha."
I was reminded once again of that church which, unlike the self-centered, worldly, and indulgent culture of contemporary youth, cultivates a new culture where choosing holiness is preferred over choosing money, even if it entails financial hardship. There, young people are encouraged to date only in their senior year of college with marriage in view, to marry within six months once they begin seeing each other, and to bear many children after marriage. As a result of fostering this culture, they achieved the astonishing record of not a single divorce among fifty couples who wed in the church. It is remarkable to hear that their default plan after marriage is to have three children, and some even set goals of bearing five and adopting two more. When young people come to church, the older brothers and sisters warmly embrace them; they exercise together, watch movies together, and enjoy fellowship, transforming the church from a boring place into one where they truly long to go. In a church where men lift up holy hands in prayer without "anger and disputing," and where women devote their hearts to modesty, simplicity, fidelity, and good works rather than adorning themselves with "braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments," dwelling in propriety, faith, love, and holiness—wherever such people gather, the blossoms of holiness will burst into full bloom. Christians do not live according to the customs of this world.
“Daar is geen man op aarde om volgens die gewoonte van die hele aarde by ons in te gaan nie. Kom, laat ons ons vader wyn gee om te drink en by hom slaap, sodat ons deur ons vader ’n geslag kan laat voortleef.” Luister na die woorde van Lot se dogters. Hulle hou “die gewoonte van die aarde”—die weë van die wêreld—voor as die maatstaf vir hul dade. Wat is die fondament waarop ons optrede vandag berus? Word ons nie ook meegesleur “volgens die gewoontes van die wêreld” nie? Tog, as ons mooi daaroor nadink, kan dit nooit die doel, rede of plig van ’n gelowige se lewe wees om sekulêre tendense na te jaag nie. Ons voer natuurlik nie ons vaders dronk om nageslag te verwek nie. Trouens, om ’n geslag na te laat, is deesdae lankal nie meer ’n prioriteit nie. Terwyl die plante en bome steeds groei, bloei en vrugte dra, dring die mensdom vandag daarop aan dat selfs die huwelik bloot ’n individuele reg van keuse is.
Selfs wanneer mense wel trou, stel hulle ’n welvarende, gerieflike lewe bo die kry van kinders. As ’n kind daardie strewe belemmer, weier hulle om kinders te hê, terwyl hul ouers dit met hartseer en magteloosheid moet aanskou. Dit voel asof daar al dekades verby is sedert die vraag: “Wanneer gaan jy trou?” ’n taboe geword het. Selfs al trou hulle uiteindelik, en daar gaan jare sonder kinders verby, is hulle gereed om hul ouers soos barbare te behandel as dié sou waag vra: “Wanneer beplan julle om kinders te kry?” In so ’n wêreld leef ons in ’n vreemde tyd waar ouers nie eers meer kan aanraai, wat nog te sê vra, oor die huwelik wanneer hul kinders verby dertig is nie, of oor kinders kry jare na hul troue nie. Dit is nou die tyd om te ondersoek of al hierdie verskynsels nie maar net ons manier is om die nuwe “gewoontes van die wêreld” na te volg nie.
Vanaf die tyd toe die oggendlied “Laat ons voorspoedig leef” oor die land weerklink het, en deur die proses waar die tradisionele Nuwejaarswens “Voorspoedige Nuwejaar” skaamteloos verander het in “Mag jy ryk word,” het vandag se Suid-Korea skielik verander in ’n era waar geld koning kraai. Niemand vind fout daarmee as mense hulself tot die uiterste in die skuld steek net om ’n woonstel te koop in ’n gebied waarvan die prys sekerlik sal styg nie. Ons leef in ’n merkwaardige tyd waar selfs die eeue-oue spanning tussen skoondogter en skoonouers opsy gesit word om die amptelike huweliksregistrasie te manipuleer indien dit help met die skoonouers se vermoënsopbou. Soos u weet, het selfs ’n senior diakones van ’n megagemeente in Gangnam, sowel as ’n leraar wie se vurige en kompromislose prediking eens ’n rein vuur in die harte van ’n geslag jongmense aangesteek het, magteloos voor ’n kerkplantingsfonds van vier miljard won vir hul seun geswig. My seun wat in die buiteland woon, het my via KakaoTalk ’n boodskap gestuur: “Pappa, dankie dat Pappa so ’n waardige en voorbeeldige afgetredene is.” As leraar was ek sprakeloos. Ek het skertsend geantwoord: “Gelukkig is dit seker omdat nie een van my seuns teologie gaan swot het nie, haha.”
Ek is weer herinner aan daardie gemeente wat, anders as die selfsugtige, wêreldse en losbandige jongmense van vandag, ’n nuwe kultuur skep waar mense verkies om heilig te leef en liewer armoede bo rykdom kies. Daar word jongmense aangemoedig om eers in hul vierde universiteitsjaar uit te gaan met die oog op die huwelik, om binne ses maande nadat hulle begin uitgaan het te trou, en om baie kinders te hê sodra hulle getroud is. As gevolg van hierdie nuwe kultuur het hulle ’n ongelooflike rekord opgestel: uit die vyftig paartjies wat in die gemeente getroud is, was daar nie ’n enkele egskeiding nie. Dit is wonderlik dat dit vir hulle vanselfsprekend is om minstens drie kinders te hê, en party stel selfs die doelwit om vyf kinders te hê en nog twee aan te neem. Wanneer jongmense na die kerk toe kom, neem die ouer broers en susters hulle onder hul vlerk; hulle oefen saam, kyk saam flieks en geniet mekaar se geselskap, sodat die kerk nie ’n vervelige plek is nie, maar ’n plek waarheen hulle graag wil gaan. In ’n gemeente waar mans sonder “toorn en twis” heilige hande ophef in gebed, en waar vroue hul harte toewy aan beskeidenheid, eenvoud, getrouheid en goeie werke eerder as om hulself te versier met “vlegsels en goud of pêrels of kosbare klere,” en wandel in eerbaarheid, geloof, liefde en heiligmaking—waar sulke gelowiges ook al vergader, sal die blomme van heiligheid volkome oopbreek. Christene leef nie volgens die gewoontes van die wêreld nie.