지난 주 화, 수, 목, 금요일은 날마다 친구들을 만난 셈입니다. 화요일 밤에는 우리 동네 개발위원들과 이장님과 함께 동네 현안을 위해서 열 명 가량 모였습니다. 엄밀하게 말하면 아직 친구들이라고 부르기보다는 앞으로 이 동네에 살면서 친구들로 알아가기를 원하는 분들입니다. 벌써 이사한 지 17년을 넘었고 같은 동네에 사는 분들이니, 전혀 모르는 사이는 아니지만, 그렇다고 잘 아는 사이도 아니기에 앞으로 시간을 내어서 한 분 한 분 좀 더 알아가고 싶습니다. 커피나 차를 마시는 것부터 시작하면 함께 밥을 먹는 관계로 발전할 수 있겠지요? 우리 문화에서는 밥을 같이 먹는다는 것은 특별한 관계로 들어가는 것을 의미합니다.
수요일 점심은 우리동네 맛집에서 4 부부 8명이 함께 밥을 먹었습니다. 지난 24년 울산교회 담임으로 있을 때부터 사귄 사이입니다. 남편이 아직 현역이라 그날 함께 하지 못한 부부도 있습니다만 시간을 낼 수 있는 분들이 모인 셈입니다. 제 단톡에는 <오로라를 찾아서>가 이 팀을 가리키는 이름입니다. 어느 해 캘거리에서 옐로나이프까지 왕복 4000 킬로가 넘는 길을 12인승 승합차로 12명이 타고가며 <오로라> 삼행시를 짓고 <자작나무> 사행시를 지으면서 오로라를 보려고 그 먼길을 함께 달렸던 역전의 용사들입니다. 어느 해 여름에는 <무진장>이란 이름으로, 또 어느 해는 <흥남진>이란 이름으로 2박 3일의 여행을 하기도 했습니다. 궁금하지요? 무진장은 무주, 진안, 장수의 첫 글자를 땄고, 흥남진은 장흥, 해남 강진의 끝자를 조합한 것입니다.
목요일 점심은 은퇴한 울산 목회자 3가정과 은퇴가 가까운 목회자 한 가정이 한 번씩 만나서 밥을 먹는 사이인데 멋진 단톡방 이름은 아직 없습니다. 가칭 ‘울산목회자 네 가정’ 정도로 생각하고 있습니다. 울산에서 목회를 했다는 공통점과 서로 마음이 통하기에 어울리는가 봅니다. 이번에도 모여서 이 모임이 어떻게 해서 결성되었는지 우리 스스로 묻고 있는 처지입니다. ‘물만 먹고 가지요’ 대신에 ‘밥만 먹고 가지요’가 되지 않도록 함께 만나는 재미에다가 의미가 보태졌으면 하는 생각이 가끔은 스칩니다. 그러고 보니 대한민국에서는 밥만 먹고 헤어지는 모임은 거의 없어 보입니다. 카페에도 가야지요^^ 맛있는 점심을 충분히 먹고도 베이커리카페에 가서 빵도 먹고 커피도 마셔야하는 문화가 이미 정착했으니까요.
금요일 점심 때는 옛날 소꿉 친구를 만났습니다. 큰 딸과 사위가 어머니를 모시고 부산에서 울산으로 달려왔습니다. 남해군 설천면 금음리 옥동에서 태어났다는 공통점과 우리 어머니들이 둘도 없는 절친이다 보니, 초등학교를 가기 전부터 우린 친구가 될 수밖에 없었습니다. 이번에 만나 두 사람의 기억을 조합해 보니, 자매는 초등학교 2학년 때 다른 동네로, 나는 4학년 때 하동으로 이사를 갔다는 사실을 확인했습니다. 십대 후반에 만난 기억이 내게는 남아있고, 자매에게는 그녀의 결혼식 피로연에 내가 참석해서 찬송가를 불러서 분위기를 싸하게 만들었답니다. 우리 어머니들은 문중의 핍박 가운데 동네에서 처음 신앙생활을 시작하신 분들입니다. 그 덕분에 내 친구는 세 따님과 아들 모두 신앙생활을 잘 하고, 우리 역시 두 아들 가정에 믿음이 전수되고 있으니 참으로 감사한 일입니다. 그날 함께 온 큰 사위는 퇴직하고, 이제는 젊은 날 약속대로 신학을 공부하고 있다니 그 또한 감사하며 기대가 됩니다.
Last week, from Tuesday to Friday, I found myself meeting friends practically every single day. On Tuesday evening, about ten of us gathered—including our village development committee members and the village head—to discuss local neighborhood matters. Strictly speaking, rather than calling them old friends just yet, they are neighbors whom I hope to get to know more closely as true friends while living in this community. It has already been more than seventeen years since we moved here, and since we live in the same village, we are certainly not complete strangers. Still, we do not know each other deeply either, so I hope to set aside time to get to know each of them a little better in the days ahead. If we begin by sharing a cup of coffee or tea, perhaps that will naturally grow into a fellowship of sharing meals together. In our culture, sharing a meal signifies entering into a truly special and warm relationship.
On Wednesday for lunch, eight of us—four married couples—shared a meal together at a lovely local restaurant. Our friendships trace back through my twenty-four years serving as the senior pastor of Ulsan Church. One couple couldn't join us because the husband is still actively serving in ministry, but those who could find the time gathered together. In my group chat, this fellowship goes by the name “In Search of the Aurora.” One memorable year, twelve of us piled into a twelve-seater van and drove over 4,000 kilometers round-trip from Calgary to Yellowknife. Composing three-line acrostic poems on “Aurora” and four-line poems on “Birch Tree,” we were seasoned veterans journeying all that distance together just to witness the Northern Lights. One summer, we took a three-day, two-night trip under the moniker “Mujinjang,” and another year under “Heungnamjin.” Curious about those names? Mujinjang took the first syllables of Muju, Jinan, and Jangsu, while Heungnamjin cleverly combined the ending syllables of Jangheung, Haenam, and Gangjin.
On Thursday for lunch, three families of retired Ulsan pastors and one family of a pastor approaching retirement met for a meal. We meet periodically, though we still lack a fancy name for our group chat; for now, we tentatively think of ourselves as the “Four Pastoral Families of Ulsan.” It seems we bond naturally because of our shared calling of having ministered in Ulsan and because our hearts resonate deeply with one another. Gathering this time, we even found ourselves asking each other how this fellowship first came to be. I occasionally reflect that it would be wonderful if our gatherings were filled not only with joyful laughter but also with lasting meaning—so that instead of simply saying, “we merely came to drink water and leave,” we wouldn't end up saying, “we merely ate a meal and left.” Come to think of it, there hardly seems to be any gathering in South Korea where people part ways right after a meal. We must head to a café, of course! ^^ Having thoroughly enjoyed a delicious lunch, going to a bakery café to relish both pastries and coffee has already become an established culture.
On Friday for lunch, I met a childhood friend from long ago. Her eldest daughter and son-in-law drove all the way from Busan to Ulsan, bringing their mother along. Having both been born in Okdong, Geumeum-ri, Seolcheon-myeon, Namhae County, and with our mothers being the dearest of soulmates, we could not help but become friends even before entering elementary school. Reconnecting this time and piecing together our childhood memories, we confirmed that she moved to another neighborhood in the second grade, and I moved away to Hadong in the fourth grade. I still carry the memory of running into her in our late teens, while she recalled how I attended her wedding reception and dampened the festive mood by singing a hymn! Our mothers were the very pioneers who first embraced the Christian faith in our village amid severe clan persecution. Thanks to that spiritual legacy, my friend’s three daughters and son are all walking faithfully in their Christian walk, and in our home as well, faith is being passed down to our two sons’ families—which is truly a matter of profound gratitude. Her eldest son-in-law, who accompanied them that day, has recently retired and is now studying theology just as he promised in his youth. That, too, brings immense gratitude and joyful anticipation.
Verlede week, van Dinsdag tot Vrydag, het dit gevoel asof ek elke liewe dag vriende ontmoet het. Dinsdagaand het sowat tien van ons—insluitend ons plaaslike ontwikkelingskomitee en die dorpshoof—bymekaargekom om dringende buurtsake te bespreek. Streng gesproke is dit dalk nog te vroeg om hulle vriende te noem; eerder is hulle bure wat ek vorentoe beter as vriende wil leer ken terwyl ons saam in hierdie omgewing woon. Dit is immers al meer as sewentien jaar sedert ons hierheen verhuis het, en aangesien ons in dieselfde buurt woon, is ons beslis nie vreemdelinge vir mekaar nie. Tog ken ons mekaar ook nie intiem nie, en daarom wil ek in die toekoms tyd maak om elkeen van hulle stukkie vir stukkie beter te leer ken. As ons begin deur saam ’n koppie koffie of tee te drink, kan dit dalk mettertyd ontwikkel in ’n verhouding waar ons ook maaltye saam geniet. In ons kultuur beteken die deel van ’n maaltyd immers dat ’n mens ’n baie besondere, hegte verhouding betree.
Woensdagmiddag het agt van ons—vier egpare—saam by ’n heerlike plaaslike restaurant gaan eet. Ons vriendskappe strek terug oor die vier-en-twintig jaar waarin ek as leraar van Ulsan Gemeente gedien het. Een egpaar kon nie die dag daar wees nie omdat die man steeds in die voltydse bediening staan, maar diegene wat tyd kon inruim, het gesellig saamgekuier. Op my kletsgroep staan hierdie groepie bekend as “Op Soek na die Aurora.” Een onvergeetlike jaar het twaalf van ons in ’n twaalfsitplek-bussie geklim en ’n heen-en-weer-reis van meer as 4 000 kilometer van Calgary na Yellowknife aangepak. Terwyl ons akrostiese gedigte oor “Aurora” en “Berkeboom” geskryf het, het ons as beproefde veterane daardie lang pad aangedurf om die noorderligte te aanskou. Een somer het ons ’n driedaagse reis onder die naam “Mujinjang” onderneem, en ’n ander jaar onder die naam “Heungnamjin.” Nuuskierig oor die name? Mujinjang het die eerste lettergrepe van Muju, Jinan en Jangsu geleen, terwyl Heungnamjin die laaste lettergrepe van Jangheung, Haenam en Gangjin vernuftig saamgevoeg het.
Donderdagmiddag het drie gesinne van afgetrede Ulsan-predikante en een gesin van ’n predikant wat naby aftrede is, ontmoet vir ’n maaltyd. Ons kom gereeld bymekaar, al het ons nog nie ’n spoggerige naam vir ons kletsgroep nie; voorlopig dink ons aan onsself as die “Vier Predikantsgesinne van Ulsan.” Dit blyk dat ons mekaar natuurlik vind vanweë ons gedeelde agtergrond in die bediening in Ulsan en omdat ons harte mekaar verstaan. Terwyl ons saam was, het ons mekaar selfs afgevra hoe hierdie byeenkoms eintlik ontstaan het. Ek dink soms dat dit wonderlik sou wees as daar benewens die vreugde van die samesyn ook blywende betekenis bygevoeg word—sodat dit nie net ’n geval is van “ons het net kom eet en weer gegaan” nie, soos in die ou kinderrympie van die haas wat net kom water drink het. As ’n mens daaraan dink, lyk dit of daar in Suid-Korea skaars enige byeenkoms is waar mense dadelik ná ’n ete uitmekaargaan. ’n Mens móét immers kafee toe gaan! ^^ Selfs ná ’n oorvloedige, heerlike middagete het dit reeds ’n vaste leefwyse geword om na ’n bakkery-kafee te gaan om varsgebakte broodjies te geniet en koffie te drink.
Vrydagmiddag het ek ’n speelmaat uit my kinderdae ontmoet. Haar oudste dogter en skoonseun het van Busan na Ulsan gery om hulle moeder te bring. Omdat ons albei in Okdong, Geumeum-ri, Seolcheon-myeon in Namhae-distrik gebore is, en ons moeders boesemvriendinne was, was dit onafwendbaar dat ons reeds voor laerskool vriende sou word. Toe ons hierdie keer ontmoet en ons herinneringe saamvoeg, het ons bevestig dat sy in graad twee na ’n ander buurt verhuis het, en ek in graad vier na Hadong getrek het. Ek onthou nog goed dat ons mekaar in ons laat tienerjare raakgeloop het, terwyl sy weer onthou het hoe ek haar huweliconthaal bygewoon het en die stemming ietwat gedemp het deur ’n gesang te sing! Ons moeders was die einste pioniers wat te midde van hewige familie- en stamvervolging die Christelike geloof in ons dorpie aangeneem het. Danksy daardie geestelike nalatenskap dien my vriendin se drie dogters en seun almal vandag die Here getrou, en in ons huis word die geloof insgelyks oorgedra aan ons twee seuns se gesinne—wat waarlik ’n rede tot innige dankbaarheid is. Haar oudste skoonseun, wat die dag saamgekom het, het onlangs afgetree en studeer nou teologie soos hy in sy jeug beloof het; ook dit bring groot dankbaarheid en vreugdevolle verwagting.