작년 7월말에 캐나다로 이사를 떠난 둘째네 가족들과 오늘은 몇 주만에 영상통화를 허락하셔서 감사한 날입니다. 영상통화를 하면서 둘째 손녀 다은이의 불쑥 내뱉은 질문이 계속 마음 속에 남습니다. “왜 우리가 캐나다에 살아야 해요?” 춥고 긴 겨울을 보내면서 생긴 의문인지 고국이 그립다는 의미인지는 묻지도 못하고, 급한대로 할아버지가 둘러대긴 했지만 생각해 볼만한 주제입니다. 영상통화를 마치고나서 차를 마시면서 아내도 같은 주제를 끄집어 내면서, 처음 캐나다 이야기를 둘째 아들이 꺼집어낼 때, 나도 그리고 미국 가서 10년 이상 살고 있는 첫째 아들도 지지했다며, 외국에 살면 아무래도 외롭지 않을까하는 생각이 든다고 말하더니, 하긴 자기로서는 외국생활, 남아공 8년의 유학생활이 외롭게 느껴지지는 않았다고 급히 수습을 하는 눈치였습니다.
그나저나 왜 둘째 아들네가 캐나다에 살아야 할까요? 질문은 다섯 살짜리 다은이 입에서 나왔지만 어쩌면 언니 소은이도, 아빠도 엄마도 생각할만한 주제입니다. 막내 동생은 세 살이니 아직은 … 그러면 왜 나는 아들의 입장을 지지했을까요? 무엇보다 직장생활을 하며 한국에서 사는 것을 유독 힘들어 하는 그 아들을 보면서, 아들이 캐나다 카드를 꺼낼 때 선뜻 찬동을 했을 것 같습니다. 불감청(不敢請)이언정 고소원(固所願)이라는 말처럼 먼저 권하지는 못해도 아들이 캐나다로 가겠다고 말하는데 조금도 내가 망설일 이유가 없었을 것입니다. 게다가 캐나다를 내가 좋아하다보니 어쩌면 더 쉬웠을 수도 있습니다. 사람이 살기에 적합한 자연이나 인문 환경이, 둘째 아들네가 캐나다에 이주해서 뿌리를 내리는 일에 긍정적인 고려를 하게 되는 충분한 요인들이었을 것입니다. 그리고 뿌리를 잘 내리면 아들과 며느리, 그리고 세 손녀 소은이, 다은이, 유은이가 그 사회에 기여할 여지가 더 크다고 생각하며, 도착해서 보낸 무지개 사진도 하나님의 계획과 인도가 있다는 생각을 확인하는데 한 몫을 했고요^^
대한민국은 좁은 땅에 너무 많은 사람들이 살고 있는 현실인 것은 부인할 수 없습니다. 그러다 보니 서로 사랑할 대상과 부딪치며 미워하고 경쟁하는 사회에서 스트레스로 인한 충돌이 많습니다. 하긴 그렇다고 두부 자르듯이 이민을 보낼 수도 없는데, 외국에 가서 살 수 있는 능력이 되는 사람들이 발을 내딛는 것이 자연스러운 애국의 방법이라고 생각됩니다. 조국을 사랑하는 일은 외국에서도 할 수 있을뿐 아니라 더 잘 할 수도 있습니다. 특히 지금 다니게 된 화란 개혁교회 후손들로 이뤄진 교회에 한국신앙인으로서 기여할 성도의 교제도 생각하게 됩니다. 뭐든 <엄청> 잘 할 수 있다는 자신감으로 똘똘뭉친 둘째 손녀 다은이에게는 넓고도 아름다운 나라 캐나다가 더 좋은 환경을 제공할 것입니다.
물론 사람마다 부름이 다릅니다. 둘째 아들처럼 2살 반에 외국, 남아공화국에서 8년을 살았던 경험은 한국에서 태어난 다른 아이들과는 외국을 바라보는 시선이 다를 것입니다. 외국이 낯선 나라가 아니라, 어쩌면 어린 시절을 보낸 고향같은 향수를 조금은 느낄 수도 있을 것입니다. 그리고 캐나다에서 공부를 하겠다고 선뜻 나설만한 영어실력 정도는 갖추고 있으니 준비도 잘 되어있는 부부라고 생각합니다. 벌써 가자마자 지난해에 한 학기를 마치고, 이번 4월말이면 두 번째 학기를 마치게 되니 감사합니다. 남은 기도제목은 세살짜리 막내를 위한 어린이집에 자리를 얻는 일입니다. 언니들은 이미 학교에 잘 다니고, 지금껏 코로나로 인해서 엄마가 영상강의를 듣다보니 지금껏 육아와 공부 둘 다 가능했는데, 코로나가 물러가고 나면, 다음 학기부터는 대면수업으로 전환될 것인데 어떻게 할지, 그래서 또 한 번 홍해가 열리는 기적 같은 일을 바라며 기도지원을 부탁합니다.
Today was a day of thanksgiving as God granted us a video call after several weeks with our second son’s family, who moved to Canada late last July. During our call, a sudden question from our second granddaughter, Daeun, stayed deeply in my heart: “Why do we have to live in Canada?” Without having the chance to ask whether this question arose from enduring the long, cold winter or from missing her homeland, Grandpa hurriedly cobbled together an answer, but it remains a theme truly worth pondering. Over tea after ending the video call, my wife brought up the same topic. She mentioned that when our second son first raised the idea of going to Canada, both she and our firstborn—who has been living in the United States for over ten years—wholeheartedly supported it. Yet she wondered aloud whether living abroad might inevitably feel lonely, though she quickly recovered by adding that, looking back, her own eight years of life as an overseas student's wife in South Africa never really felt lonely to her.
By the way, why should our second son’s family live in Canada? Although the question slipped out of five-year-old Daeun’s mouth, it is a subject worth pondering for her older sister Soeun, and for their dad and mom as well. The youngest is only three years old, so perhaps not just yet... Then why did I support my son’s choice? Above all, seeing him struggle especially hard with corporate life in Korea, I think I readily consented the moment he played the "Canada card." As the old saying goes, "I dared not ask, but it was truly my heart's deepest wish" (不敢請 固所願)—while I could not suggest it first, there was no reason whatsoever for me to hesitate once he voiced his desire to go to Canada. Moreover, because I personally love Canada, it may have been an even easier decision. The natural and cultural environment so conducive to human living was undoubtedly a sufficient factor in favorably considering the prospect of our second son's family putting down roots in Canada. And I believed that once they took firm root, my son, my daughter-in-law, and our three granddaughters—Soeun, Daeun, and Youeun—would have far greater room to contribute to that society. The picture of a rainbow they sent upon arrival also played a part in confirming that God’s plan and guidance were truly with them. ^^
It is undeniable that too many people live in the narrow land of South Korea. Consequently, in a society where people bump against, hate, and fiercely compete with the very neighbors they ought to love, conflicts arising from stress are abundant. Of course, one cannot simply slice through society and send everyone abroad like cutting tofu, but for those who possess the ability to live overseas, stepping out into the world can be considered a natural expression of patriotism. Loving one's homeland can certainly be practiced from abroad; in fact, it can sometimes be done even better. In particular, I think of the Christian fellowship and contribution they can offer as Korean believers to the local congregation they now attend, which was established by descendants of the Dutch Reformed Church. For our second granddaughter Daeun, who is brimming with confidence that she can do anything exceedingly well, this vast and beautiful country of Canada will surely provide a much finer environment.
Of course, each person receives a distinct calling. For our second son, who lived overseas in South Africa for eight years starting from the age of two and a half, his perspective on foreign lands will naturally differ from children born and raised solely in Korea. Far from seeing a foreign country as entirely unfamiliar, he might even feel a subtle nostalgia, as if returning to a landscape from his childhood. Moreover, having the English proficiency to step forward confidently into studies in Canada, they are, in my eyes, a well-prepared couple. I am so grateful that right after arriving, he completed his first semester last year and will conclude his second semester by the end of this April. Our remaining prayer request is securing a spot at a daycare center for the three-year-old youngest child. The older sisters are already attending school happily, and until now, because online lectures were held due to COVID-19, the mother was able to balance both childcare and her studies. However, as the pandemic subsides and in-person classes resume next semester, managing both will be a challenge. Thus, we ask for your prayer support, looking forward to another miracle like the parting of the Red Sea.
Vandag was ’n dag van dankbaarheid toe die Here ons na ’n paar weke ’n video-oproep gegun het met ons tweede seun se gesin, wat einde verlede Julie na Kanada verhuis het. Tydens ons oproep het ’n spontane vraag van ons tweede kleindogter, Daeun, my diep bygebly: “Waarom moet ons in Kanada woon?” Sonder om te kon vra of hierdie vraag spruit uit die lang, koue winter wat sy moes deursit en of sy dalk verlang na haar vaderland, het Oupa maar haastig ’n antwoord aanmekaargesit; tog bly dit ’n gedagte wat werklik oordenking werd is. Terwyl ons ná die video-oproep tee gedrink het, het my vrou dieselfde tema aangeraak. Sy het genoem dat toe ons tweede seun die eerste keer van Kanada gepraat het, sy sowel as ons oudste seun—wat al meer as tien jaar in die Verenigde State woon—dit ten volle ondersteun het. Sy het gewonder of ’n mens nie maar eensaam raak as jy in die vreemde woon nie, maar het haarself gou reggehelp deur by te voeg dat haar eie oorsese jare, die agt jaar van studieverblyf in Suid-Afrika, vir haar eintlik nooit eensaam gevoel het nie.
Nietemin, waarom moet ons tweede seun se gesin in Kanada woon? Al het die vraag uit die mond van die vyfjarige Daeun gekom, is dit ’n saak waaroor haar ouer suster Soeun, sowel as haar pa en ma, gerus kan nadink. Die jongste boetie/sussie is maar drie jaar oud, so dalk nog nie nou al nie... Waarom het ek dan my seun se besluit ondersteun? Veral toe ek gesien het hoe besonder moeilik hy dit gevind het om die korporatiewe werkslewe in Korea te verduur, het ek dadelik ingestem toe hy die Kanada-opsie op die tafel sit. Soos die ou spreekwoord sê: “Ek het nie gewaag om dit te vra nie, maar dit was my hartsbegeerte” (不敢請 固所願)—alhoewel ek dit nie eerste kon voorstel nie, was daar vir my geen rede om te huiwer toe my seun sê hy wil Kanada toe gaan nie. Bowendien, aangesien ek self baie van Kanada hou, was dit dalk ’n nóg makliker besluit. Die natuurlike en menslike omgewing wat so geskik is vir menslike bewoning, was oorgenoeg rede om ’n positiewe oordeel te vel oor die moontlikheid dat ons tweede seun se gesin daar sou wortels skiet. En ek het geglo dat as hulle eers stewig wortels skiet, my seun, skoondogter en ons drie kleindogters—Soeun, Daeun en Youeun—’n baie groter bydrae tot daardie samelewing sal kan lewer. Die foto van ’n reënboog wat hulle met hul aankoms gestuur het, het ook gehelp om te bevestig dat God se plan en leiding waarlik met hulle is. ^^
Dit val nie te ontken nie dat daar in Suid-Korea eenvoudig te veel mense op ’n baie klein stukkie grond saamgepers leef. Gevolglik is daar in ’n samelewing waar mense teen mekaar skuur, mekaar haat en meedoënloos meeding met die einste mense wat hulle behoort lief te hê, geweldig baie spanning en botsings. Natuurlik kan ’n mens nie die samelewing soos ’n stuk tofu deursny en almal sommer laat emigreer nie, maar vir diegene wat oor die vermoë beskik om in die vreemde te gaan woon, voel dit soos ’n natuurlike vorm van patriotisme om daardie tree te gee. Liefde vir jou vaderland kan immers net so wel—en dalk selfs beter—vanuit die buiteland uitgeleef word. Ek dink veral aan die gemeenskap van die heiliges en die bydrae wat hulle as Koreaanse gelowiges kan lewer tot die plaaslike gemeente waarby hulle nou aangesluit het, ’n kerk wat bestaan uit afstammelinge van die Nederlandse Gereformeerde Kerk. Vir ons tweede kleindogter Daeun, wat oorloop van selfvertroue dat sy enigiets buitengewoon goed kan doen, sal die wye en pragtige land Kanada gewis ’n baie gunstiger omgewing bied.
Natuurlik het elke mens ’n eie roeping. Vir ons tweede seun, wat as twee-en-’n-halfjarige kind agt jaar lank in die buiteland in Suid-Afrika gewoon het, sal sy blik op die buitewêreld natuurlik anders wees as dié van kinders wat uitsluitlik in Korea grootgeword het. Vir hom is die vreemde nie ’n heeltemal onbekende plek nie; hy beleef dalk selfs ’n tikkie heimwee, soos na ’n tuiste uit sy vroeë kinderdae. Boonop beskik hulle oor die nodige Engelse taalvaardigheid om met vrymoedigheid verdere studies in Kanada aan te pak, sodat hulle na my mening ’n deeglik voorbereide egpaar is. Ek is innig dankbaar dat hy reeds verlede jaar dadelik ná hul aankoms een semester voltooi het, en teen die einde van April vanjaar al sy tweede semester sal afsluit. Ons oorblywende gebedsversoek is om ’n plek in ’n dagsorgsentrum vir die driejarige jongste kind te kry. Die ouer susters gaan reeds fluks skool toe, en tot dusver kon Mamma danksy die COVID-19-pandemie aanlyn lesings volg en sodoende kindersorg en studie kombineer. Maar namate die pandemie wyk en klasse vanaf volgende semester weer van aangesig tot aangesig hervat word, wonder ons hoe sake gaan verloop; daarom vra ons u gebedsondersteuning, terwyl ons uitsien na nog ’n wonderwerk soos die ooptrek van die Rooi See.